We Watched A Porno

Lust, Desire, Satisfaction and so much more all come together in... Tapestry of Passion

Private detective Johnny Wadd is hot on the case of a mysterious and beautiful woman known as 'The Black Widow' whose lovers have an unfortunate habit of dying...

Starring:  Annette Haven, Desiree West, Joan Devlon, Leslie Bovee, Sharon Thorpe, Suzy Chung, Veronica Taylor, John Holmes, John Leslie

Categories:  '70s, Appearance, Big Dicks, Classic, Classic Plot, Classic Star Showcase, Feature, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women, Star Showcase

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She's An Automatic Weapon.

Get ready for action with adult film's hottest blonde! Jill Kelly is a desperado on the run in this, the latest erotic action thriller from Brad Armstrong and Greg Steele. She electrifies the screen in a role that will have you on the edge of your seat, and at the point of no return. And just when you thought it was safe to go back into the bedroom...you're Double Crossed, dude.

Starring:  Jeanna Fine, Jill Kelly, Liza Harper, Nici Sterling, Brad Armstrong, Brick Majors, Steven St. Croix

Categories:  '90s, Action, Appearance, Big Tits, Blowjobs, Classic, Classic Plot, Couples, Cumshots, Double Enders, Facials, Feature, Oral, Petite, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women, Sex Toy Play

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This is the girl your mother warned you about...You should have listened.

1999 AVN Award Winner for Best Film of The Year.

AVN Top 500 - Vince Vouyer is a burnt out vice cop obsessed with a 40-year-old murder spree. The killings were committed, it is believed, by a prostitute dubbed the "femme fatale." Vince thinks he has a suspect - in photos of each of the crime scenes, he sees, or thinks he sees, long-legged, tall call girl Lauren Montgomery. This is hardly compelling evidence, however, because Vince is a known alcoholic and hardly an impartial investigator, since his father was one of the victims of the original spree. Incredible sex is the rule here, from Vince's wicked threesome with partner Shanna McCullough and hooker Erika Bella to Hakan and Sylvia Saint's incredible anal session. "This is solid, satisfying storytelling with sex - a lot of what porn should be."

Starring:  Erika Bella, Jacklyn Lick, Lauren Montgomery, Shanna McCullough, Silvia Saint, Hacan Serbes, Ian Daniels, Mickey G., Steve Hatcher, Vince Vouyer

Categories:  '90s, AVN Awards, AVN Best Film Winners By Year, AVN Top 500, Awards, Classic, Couples, Feature, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women, X - Rated Greatest Adult Movies Of All Time

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When down-on-his-luck loser (James Deen) lands a job as a night security guard in the world famous Erotic

Heritage Museum, he soon discovers the reports of strange events taking place after-hours are true! Reports are out that the exhibits come to life at night and have sex with the guests. James and superstar Riley Reid, who plays the museum tour guide, are soon front and center engaging with Golden-era porn stars who come to life when the doors lock for the night. Relive the classic pairings of Marilyn Chambers (Chanel Preston), as

she reunites with Johnny Keyes (Isiah Maxwell) from Behind the Green Door. Watch Harry Reems

discover the clit in Linda Lovelace's (Anna Morna's) throat. Seka (Jenna Ivory), John Holmes and Caligula run

wild in a maze of sex artifacts dating back to the Stone Ages. Featuring hot newcummers Zoe Wood and

Elizabeth Bentley, and XXX legend Ron Jeremy as the curator of the museum, this movie is destined to be a

classic like the films it pays homage to!

2016 AVN Nominee for Best Parody

2016 AVN Nominee for Best Makeup

2016 AVN Award Nominee for Best Art Direction

Starring:  Anna Morna, Chanel Preston , Elizabeth Bentley, Jenna Ivory, Riley Reid, Zoe Wood, Anthony Rosano, Eric John, Isiah Maxwell, James Deen, Marcus London, Ron Jeremy

Categories:  Clothing, Comedy, Cosplay, Couples, Fantasy & Supernatural, Feature, Parody, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women

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She Saw Her Way To Love. He Saw His Way To Change.

An escaped criminal finds his way into the house of a blind girl. As their passion grows, she sees in him what the sighted had not. And both their worlds change. Forever.

Starring: Leena, Debi Diamond, Crystal Wilder, Steven St. Croix, Mike Horner, Steve Drake, Terry Thomas, Krista

WATCH HERE

Mini trailer on some of the movies to come!

AVN Top 500 - The future of the free world is at stake and the penetrator must jump back in time to protect Melissa against an evil and advanced cyborg. Machine is pitted against machine as the cyborg from the future tracks his human prey in the present day, bent on impregnating her in order to alter the fate of mankind.

Studio: Pleasure Productions

A magic crystal, a strange wizard, and some ravishing amazons make for erotic adventure in the arousing conclusion of Henri Pachard's time-travel epic, The New Barbarians. Will the barbarians make it back to their time? Will Nina and Joey ever make it back to the present? Will anybody even notice with all the sex going on? Find out for yourself in The New Barbarians 2.

Starring:  Angela D'Angelo, Arcie Miller, Mia Powers, Michelle Monroe, Natasha Skyler, Nina Hartley, Sabrina Dawn, Sharon Kane, Sheila Kelley, Tara Collins, Victoria Paris, Joey Silvera, Jon Dough, Randy Spears, Randy West

Categories:  '90s, Appearance, Blondes, Classic, Classic Plot, Clothing, Cosplay, Fantasy & Supernatural, Feature, Historical / Period Piece, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women

WATCH HERE

A Quick Recap of what happened in The New Barbarians before you listen to to the episode The New Barbarians 2.

A FORMAL FAUCETT (67 min)

When Formal Faucett Minor discovers her boyfriend Jimmy in bed with another woman, she decides it’s finally time to flee her small-town existence and venture into the big city and become the star she always dreamed she would be! With tongue firmly in cheek, Fred Lincoln’s bizarre comedy (and second directing effort).

1979,1978 / 75 min, 67 min / 1.85:1, 1.37:1 / English Mono
1979 Gail Films, 1978 Gail Films

Starring:  Barbara Klouds, China Leigh, Desiree Cousteau, Dorothy Le May, Lisa Sue Corey, Nancy Hoffman, Blair Harris, Guy Austin, John Seeman, Ken Scudder, Norma Jean, Paul Thomas, Rocky

Categories:  '70s, Classic, Classic Plot, Feature, Parody, Plot Oriented

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A glowing crystal that causes sexual arousal, as well as time travel, is the centerpiece of this sexual sword-and-sorcery epic from award-winning director Henri Pachard. Gorgeous Victoria Paris stars as the buxom Amazon whose quest for the stolen crystal takes her from one sexual tryst to another, and eventually into another century! Don't miss the first half of the most important adult feature of the 1990's!

Starring:  Lauren Hall, Mia Powers, Natasha Skyler, Nina Hartley, Raven Richards, Sabrina Dawn, Sharon Kane, Sheila Kelley, Tara Collins, Victoria Paris, Cal Jammer, Eric Price, Joey Silvera, Jon Dough, Randy Spears, Randy West

Categories:  '90s, AVN Awards, AVN Top 500, Awards, Classic, Classic Plot, Clothing, Cosplay, Fantasy & Supernatural, Feature, Historical / Period Piece, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women

WATCH FULL MOVIE HERE

In a fantasy land filled with magic and dragons a group of heroes led by Noname Jane and Aurora Snow must save the world from evil sorceress (Kylie Ireland). If the sorceress gains control of the last ring she will send central earth into complete darkness and despair. Whore of the Rings is all anal epic of sprawling proportions with a superstar cast! You're going to love the costumes, the story and the magnificent fucking!

Starring:  Aurora Snow, Kylie Ireland, Nikita Denise, Nikki Knights, Noname Jane, Chris Cannon, Jay Ashley, Lee Stone, Napoleon, Robokok, Steve Hatcher, Steve Taylor

Categories:  Anal, Clothing, Cosplay, Couples, Cumshots, Double Penetration, Facials, Fantasy & Supernatural, Feature, Parody, Plot Oriented

WATCH FULL MOVIE HERE

Wired: love in the electronic age

Love in the Electronic Age creates a whole new set of rules! In Episode 3, Kim meets her online lover and his wife! Annie and Monica feel the "vibe" at a sex toy party then go home to take matters into their own hands! And Lindsey's new lover is her #1 fan and the best lay she's ever had!

Starring:  Adajja, Bridgette Kerkove, Dee Baker, Keri Windsor, Lauren Montgomery, Nina Hartley

Categories:  Feature, Plot Oriented

Before her new neighbors move in, Raylene hires an escort (Voodoo) to help assuage her loneliness. She begins the encounter with a glass of , and then takes her Portuguese friend upstairs to her bedroom for a raucous romp. Raylene begins with some fine cock sucking and then Voodoo makes her writhe uncontrollably as he tongues her clit and nibbles on her labia. The two eventually move through a few positions before Voodoo finally pops on her stomach.
When a couple moves in next door, Raylene discovers their artistic inclinations as well as their hot and cold relationship. Tony plays a quasi-famous alcoholic poet while his wife/girlfriend (Adajja) is a sculptor. Not long after moving in the two have an argument which oddly progresses into a sex scene; Raylene climbs on her roof to get a better look. Adajja begins by going down on Tony's shaft before climbing on the kitchen table for some spoon action, and I'm not talking about silverware. Next, Tony works a blue dildo in and out of her ass while she rides him in a cowgirl position. From missionary, Tony eventually pulls out an coats Adajja's abdomen with a showering of man juice.
One day Tony brings home a sampling of local girls (Nicole Sheridan, Wendy Divine, and Dayton) to hear a first hand reading of his poetry. Afterward, Nicole pairs off with Adajja in the backyard while Wendy and Dayton get aquatinted in the kitchen. The action cuts between both pairings providing a nice variety of girl/girl content. For example, while Dayton works away on Wendy's ass with a dildo, Nicole is busy tonguing Adajja while working some fingers into her ass. Both couplings are quite good featuring four astute girl/girl performers.
In the movie's most unique (and impressive) segment, the reclusive Raylene uses one of Adajja's discarded busts (of Tony's torso) as a source of visual stimulation during a masturbation session. There's something unusually erotic about the way she talks to the sculpture while working four fingers into her pussy. She even attempts to suck the statue's exaggeratedly large cock but is only able to get her lips about half way around the head. While her mouth is too small, her bulbous tits seem to do the job as she wrap's them around the large ceramic shaft for an improvised titty fuck. She finally gets the opportunity to fuck the real Tony at the end of the movie, but their interaction isn't anywhere as interesting as Raylene's seductive play with the sculpture. However, Tony manages to give her a real facial, unlike the imaginative one she pretends she receives from her ceramic lover.

Starring:  Adajja, Dayton Rains, Nicole Sheridan, Raylene, Wendy Divine, Tony Tedeschi, VoodooCategories:  Amateur Fetish, BDSM, Bondage, Couples, Domination, Feature, Fetish, Hardtied Bondage, Plot Oriented

Lights! Camera! Your Ass In My Face!

Lights! Camera! Your ass in my face! Steve (Tony Tedeschi) & Felecia (Mercedez) were the perfect couple. Madly in love and happily married...that is, until Steve begins to suspect that his perfect bride is living a secret life as a porn star. But catching her in the act proves difficult as he is thrown into a hilarious adventure into the world of adult film making. Watch and find out what happens when the perfect marriage turns into a perfect mess. Mercedez debut film for Vivid will have you laughing your ass off!!! (If you're into anal that is!)

Starring:  Jesse V., Natasha Dolling, Nina Mercedez, Chris Cannon, Mario Rossi, Steven French, Tony Tedeschi

Categories:  Couples, Feature, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women

WATCH HERE

When Barbara Scott's (Kay Parker) husband leaves her, blaming her frigidity for destroying their marriage, she's left alone, without a source of income, and charged with taking care of their teenage son, Paul (Mike Ranger). Feeling vulnerable, she turns to her friend Gina (Juliet Anderson) who opens Barbara's eyes to the secret world of suburban swingers. But as erotic tension grows, Barbara begins to fantasize about her handsome son...

One of the most significant and controversial X rated films ever made, Kirdy Stevens' TABOO became one of the biggest hits of the 80s, catapulting its star, Kay Parker, to international fame. 

Directed by: Kirdy Stevens
Starring: Kay Parker, Mike Ranger, Juliet Anderson, Dorothy LeMay, Tawny Pearl, Turk Lyon
1980 / 86 minutes / Color / 1.85:1

Let's get physical! These fit dancer bodies show you just how they stay in shape. Prepare yourself for a steaming-hot, muscle-building, sex workout that will make you sweat. Watch these beautiful babes crunch, pump, push, and lift their bodies, giving new meaning to the word fitness. Erica Boyer, Hyapatia Lee, Martina and Shanna McCullough know that sex is still one of the best and most fun ways to keep in shape.

1983 / 168 min (combined) / 1.85:1 / English Mono

Starring:  Erica Boyer, Hyapatia Lee, Shanna McCullough, Mike Horner, Paul Thomas

Categories:  '80s, Athletes, Character, Classic, Classic Plot, Clothing, Ethnic, Feature, Interracial, Native American, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women, Sport Plots, Sports Gear, Stripping

Additional info:

WATCH HERE

Buy Blu Ray HERE

Fitness instructor Jackie La Lay runs a highly popular and successful health club. Since the female club members are going to be competing in a bodybuilding contest against rival clubs, Jackie encourages her gals to engage in all kinds of strenuous carnal activities in order to get and stay in shape for said contest.

Director: Bob Chinn
Writers: Bud Lee, Hyapatia Lee
Starring: Hyapatia Lee, Bud Lee, Shanna McCullough, Eric Edwards, Mike Horner, Desiree Lane
Producer: Debbie Deen

1983

89 min

Watch HERE.

Watch Trailer.

IT'S ANOTHER BONUS EPISODE

Lust or Love

Lust or Love! Monica, Lindsey, Kim and Annie are modern women with modern problems! In Episode 2, Monica wonders if great sex makes up for a so-so suitor as Annie just hungers for hard-ons! Meanwhile, Lindsey's lover turns possessive while Kim's gets her off, and then gets going!

Starring:  Darla Crane, Dee Baker, Keri Windsor, Lauren Montgomery, Nina Hartley, Billy Glide, Brick Majors, Evan Stone, T.J. Cummings

WATCH HERE

Celeste Is Lethal.

Woody Long is a man on the verge. Of Death.

He's been secretly poisoned, and his last hope is detective Bill Marlowe.

Was it foxy Celeste? Slinky Dyanna Lauren? Unknown Sally Layd? Or awesome new blonde Kylie Ireland? Do you care, as long as they're all nude at some point?

Join Scotty Fox on a who-done-it of epic proportions, starring a girl of epic proportions. Celeste is Poison. At least you'll die smiling.

Starring:  Celeste, Dyanna Lauren, Kylie Ireland, Sally Layd, Brad Armstrong, Byron Long, Marc Wallice, Mike Horner

Categories:  '90s, Action, Appearance, Big Tits, Classic, Couples, Feature, Mystery, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women

WATCH FULL MOVIE HERE

Welcome to a new bonus series!

Tich and RPJ are taking a tour into the world of Mini Series Porn... and each week they will be talking about an episode of the Naked Hollywood Series.

Faking It

Faking it- it's just not orgasms anymore. Pretending to be what we want to be, not who we are. Lying to ourselves about what we really want and whom we want it with. It's all about living in Hollywood and what it takes to survive here; just put on a smile and keep faking it.

Starring:  Daisy Chain, Dee Baker, Keri Windsor, Lauren Montgomery, Nina Hartley, Drew Warner, Evan Stone, Jason McCain, Jim Steele, Joey Ray, Marty Romano

Categories:  Feature, Plot Oriented

WATCH HERE

Deja vu. Past lives. Real? Illusion? Jenna's about to find out. She's facing Murder One, but has the gnawing feeling that this has all happened before. Can she refute the charges and still lead an intriguing sex life? Undoubtedly. Priceless. The experience of a lifetime.

Starring: Holly Body,Jenna Jameson,Krista Maze,Misty Rain,Roxanne Hall,Sofia Ferrari,Jonathan Morgan,Peter North,Steven St. Croix,Tony Tedeschi

Categories: '90s,Classic,Classic Plot,Couples,Feature,Mystery,Plot Oriented,Popular with Women

WATCH HERE

Maybe The Walls Don't Have Ears, But The Mattress Talks.

Maybe the walls don't have ears, but the mattress talks. Welcome to Director Paul Norman's "Bedlam", the story of a girl and her bed. A bed that gives advice, tells tales, and just might save Celeste from some untold danger. All in all, it's bedlam. When all hell breaks loose...and it feels just like heaven.

Starring:  Amber Woods, Celeste, Jenteal, Melissa Hill, Nikki Tyler, Alex Sanders, Ian Daniels, Mark Davis, Tom Byron

Categories:  '90s, Classic, Couples, Feature, Lesbian, Lesbian - Strap-Ons, Plot Oriented, Popular with Women

WATCH HERE

YOU CAN RUN, AND YOU BETTER HIDE.

A missing father, a missing beauty queen. Or are they missing? Covert contacts, a private investigation, and it's all taking place in the shadows of the capitol where the seediest of exchanges go down and the sexiest of encounters are played out in the shadows.

Starring:  Alex Foxe, Devinn Lane, Holly Hollywood, Kelsey Heart, Kristal Summers, Renee LaRue, Shelbee Myne, Star E. Knight, Zana, Ian Daniels, Joel Lawrence, Julian Andretti, Lee Stone, Randy Spears

WATCH HERE

Happy New Year!

We start off 2025 with an absolute banger of a film.

1995's Trouble Maker.

She's Trouble... But it Works On Paper.

Asia and Eric are newlyweds. On their honeymoon, they take on a partner of another sort.

Celeste...troublemaker.

The mind games are as hot as the sex play. Celeste, Tammi and Asia go at it with an anal bullet. Laura Palmer and Asia make love on a pool table. Celeste takes Eric orally. In a bathroom.

It's a Paul Thomas take on relationships gone awry. The words that are spoken, the letters that are sent, the trouble that ensues.

Only it's Celeste... so it's a double-take. Enjoy.

4 Hours of Total Video

WATCH HERE

The Story of A Miracle that DIDN'T Happen on 34th Street!

"Angels come in all sizes and shapes. They can even be a cocktail waitress in a deserted bar on Christmas Eve. They can save a man who feels like half a man. And best of all, they can even be Devon. Make a wish upon a star?"

Join Tich and RPJ this holiday season for a very very VERY depressing Christmas porno.

Sure the sex is good, but this film is filled with sad twist after sad twist.

From men with waxed legs, to possible murder. Eve's Gift might just become your new Holiday classic. Move over Die Hard!

Studio: Vivid

Director: David Stanley

Run Time: 1 hr 12min

Released: 2000

Can be watched HERE

A magical night that neither can forget leads Julianne and Matt to a fateful reunion 10 years after.

A lot has happened in each of their lives but they are determined to rekindle the flames of passion that blazed ever so briefly a decade past.

Can sexual lighting strike twice?

Directed by F.J. Lincoln

Run Time: 1:26 min

1997

-Watch Here -

1995's Dear Dairy is a film you need to see to believe.

A film that won two AVN awards for acting, Tich and RPJ have a lot to say when it comes to the acting of this film. Hint ... it blows their minds!

For once a porno that has acting that acting isn't all that bad. And there's more! The sex is pretty good as well!

A busty blond in a wheelchair that has a magic diary that makes people have sex? Yes please!

Dear Diary 126 min / 1995

Directed by Frank Marino

The King of Erotic Cinema Tinto Brass directs a cult classic in Cheeky! This beautifully shot and killer soundtrack erotic cult film comes to 4K UHD for the first time, and we are here for it.

Tich and RPJ review the Uncensored Director's Cut, which is filled butt show after butt shot.

This is the most horny film to be reviewed yet!

Cheeky! 91 minutes/2000

Written/directed/edited by Tinto Brass

BUY YOUR COPY HERE

It's DOUBLE FEATURE TIME, with Gail Palmer's"Erotic Adventures of Candy"and "Candy Goes to Hollywood".

Carol Connors of "Deep Throat" fame stars as Candy, a ditzy blond that travels around America having sex.

Written and Directed by Gail Palmer these films on paper should avoid the trappings of toxic male fantasy ... and yet it's somehow worse ...

Strap in and get ready for bad acting, bad theme songs, and bad plot. Maybe some okay sex.

Erotic Adventures of Candy / 1978 / 86 minutes

Candy Goes to Hollywood / 1979 / 88 minutes

Purchase FilmsHERE

What would you do if you discovered the house you live in was built on ancient whoring grounds?

Now, imagine it possessed by the spirits of horny tricks and whores. Would you stay?Haunted,a tale of things that go hump in the night!

Join Tich and RPJ as they dive into the spooky world of Haunted!

Directed by Jerome Tanner ( 2002 )

1 Hour 11 min

A guy named Al has a late night, wacky comedy show that's co hosting by guy in an ape costume. This show plays random amateur porn via VHS. Al has a sister who watches this show ... and plays with herself whilst watching this show. She has a boyfriend who is an out of work actor with no money. And he spends what money he does have on sex workers to bring home and film having sex with partner.

How will they make ends meet? Enter the sleazy producer of the amateur porn...

Will their relationship hold together?

Tich and RPJ try and make sense of this film that tries to set up a series of films, but really goes nowhere!

Playback directed by David Stanley ( 2002 )

2 hours

Ever wonder what might be the weirdest idea for a porno ever? Well, we think we found it.

New York. 1976. A shipment of Gogo Wieners ( hotdogs ) and the aphrodisiac "The Spanish Fly", have been cross contaminated!

That's right, a porno that has women eating hotdogs and having sex. A LOT OF HOTDOGS.

Is it sexy? No. No it is not. But its insane and fun to watch.

Night of the Spanish Fly was directed by Bob Mason

1976/ 73 minutes /

Catch up after the first episode of Season 2 hits your ears and find out whats next for you next week with the real trailer for the next film being reviewed ... The Night of the Spanish Fly.

With days away until Season 2 hits your ears, heres another mini update to keep things hot and heavy.

We have a bunch of trailers from films that got reviewed in Season 1. From Amber Aroused to The Tale of Tiffany Lust.

Need to catch up on past episodes? Don't wait nay longer and get on that.

Plus a the trailer for the film that will be reviewed in Episode 1 of Season 2 ... The Night Bird!

We are coming back with an all new season as of Sept 19th 2024, and we have some fun news for you in this Mini Update Episode.

What will the new season look like and some fun additions to past episodes!

We've done some digging and have found audio of trailers from Season 1 episodes and will be sharing them with you before Season 2 kicks off.

Listen now and Subscribe so you don't miss out on future fun.