Stoic Wellbeing

Do you ever feel like people are too blunt – or not direct enough? Do you live by the clock, or are you free with your schedule? Do you like to cut to the chase and get to work, or do you need to warm up first? These are not just individual preferences – they are cultural norms. In this episode, I explore why we are the way we are, and what happens when different cultures collide. Read the article. The Culture Map *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach...

There's an unwritten rule in Swedish culture called the Law of Jante: Don't think you're special. Don't stand out. Blend in. It’s the opposite of American individualism – and both sides have a shadow. In this episode, I explore what a Swedish flatmate, living in Italy, and years of coaching have taught me about fitting in versus standing out, and why it matters for anyone working across cultures. Read the article. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is...

Turns out there’s not just one way to listen – there are four, at least according to the authors of Adaptive Listening: How to Cultivate Trust and Traction at Work. In this episode, I share when to use each level of listening, plus the question you should always ask yourself before opening your mouth. Read the article. Read Adaptive Listening. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, stren...

Love isn't what most people think it is. It’s not a bond between partners or family, according to Dr. Barbara Fredrickson – it’s a micro-moment of positivity that resonates in your body when you connect with someone, even with strangers. And the research is clear: The more of these moments you create, the happier and healthier you’ll be. Read the article. Love 2.0 book *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share you...

The hardest part of starting something new is feeling like you're failing. Before you quit, try the three ideas in this episode to help you get through this "conscious incompetence" phase. You'll learn how to build lasting confidence, and how to recognize the progress you're already making. Read the transcript. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have more fun. As an...

Have you ever thought: “If they really loved me, they’d just know without me having to say it.” But expecting someone to intuit your needs isn’t romantic – it’s magical thinking. In this episode, I talk about why unspoken expectations lead to disappointment, the shift you need to make for real connection, and why clarity is one of the most generous things you can offer in a relationship. Read the transcript. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about...

I cried in my first knitting class and I didn’t know why – it’s not like I’m emotionally invested in making potholders out of yarn. In this episode, I explore the quiet pressure we put on ourselves without realizing it, and how we can give ourselves more grace. Read the transcript *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have more fun. As an American expat living in ...

My guest today, Sunalie, is a warm and gifted journalist – and also a former client of mine. During our time together, she had so many meaningful wins. Hearing about the specific shifts she made will help you strengthen your own confidence and communication skills – including how to feel more at ease when all eyes are on you. Sunalie has been with her partner for over 20 years, but they never got married. Not because she didn’t want to, but because the thought of standing in front of a ...

Are you procrastinating more than you think you are? In this episode, I’m talking about virtuous procrastination – the act of avoiding discomfort, uncertainty, or purposeful risk by busying yourself with work that appears responsible, generous, and good. Volunteering. Overcommitting. Over-preparing. It looks admirable, but sometimes it’s just a sneaky distraction from what’s most important to you. Read the article. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My ...

Comfort can quietly cost you the life you really want. When we play it too safe in the name of avoiding unpleasant thoughts or feelings, we drift away from our values and the things that bring meaning, energy, and connection. The Stoics offer a way back through intentional action, self-inquiry, and showing up with integrity – even when it’s uncomfortable. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen ...

We often have something meaningful to say – but the way we say it can get in the way. We overload our listener with backstory, hoping to make them understand, and end up muddying the message instead. In this episode, I explore why this happens and how a small shift in how we speak can make a big difference. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have more fun. As an Ame...

Carrie Bradshaw used to feel relatable. Now we accuse her of being unhinged. But maybe that says more about us than it does about her. Read the article. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have more fun. As an American expat living in the U.K., I value curiosity, courage, and joy. A few things I love: wandering European streets in search of the best vegetarian meal, ...

We’ve all had those moments where an insult or offhand comment sticks in our head. Hours later, we’re still replaying it, wishing we’d come up with the perfect comeback. But what if the strongest response isn’t a clever line at all? In this episode, I explore what the Stoics – and even a surprising scene from Gladiator 2 – can teach us about handling insults and keeping our peace of mind. You’ll hear: Why chasing the “upper hand” keeps us stuck.How Epictetus, a former slave turned philosopher...

To move forward, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is pause and take stock of how far you’ve come. Read the article. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and have more fun. As an American expat living in the U.K., I value curiosity, courage, and joy. A few things I love: wandering European streets in search of the best vegetarian meal, practicing Italian,...

I finally became a British citizen after years of putting it off – not because I didn’t qualify, but because perfectionism kept slowing me down. In this episode, I share the real reason I delayed, what happened when I shifted my focus from “perfect” to “done,” and revisit how the concept of maximizers vs. satisficers can help you move forward in your life. Read the article (and come say hi on Substack). *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is abou...

Being blunt isn’t the same as being brave. In a culture that idolizes people who “say whatever they think,” we’ve started confusing impulsiveness for honesty, and arrogance for authenticity. But unfiltered speech isn’t just lazy. Sometimes, it’s harmful. In this episode, I explore the difference between courage and carelessness, and how to practice mindful communication without losing your voice or your values. Read the article. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mind...

The Science of Connection: Building Bonds Through Small Acts of Love In this episode, I share a brief moment with my nephew that opened up a bigger question: How do we create the kind of presence that people remember? I explore the science of likability, the concept of “Love 2.0,” and why the smallest gestures – eye contact, laughter, a kind word – have long-lasting emotional and health benefits. This isn’t about being charming or chosen. It’s about how we choose to show up. *** I...

What if the real key to growth isn’t pushing harder, but celebrating more? In this episode, I’m sharing why savoring your wins matters – how it rewires your brain, reinforces your identity, and helps you live in alignment with your values. If you’ve been rushing from one goal to the next, this is your invitation to pause, reflect, and really honor the actions you’re taking. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share yo...

What did the Founding Fathers actually mean when they talked about “the pursuit of happiness” – and how can we apply that wisdom to our lives today? This episode is about what real happiness looks like – not the fireworks version, but the kind that comes from gratitude, good character, and being present for the small moments. *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work is about helping people like you share your voice, strengthen your relationships, and ...

Struggling to start something new because you're afraid of looking foolish? This episode is your permission slip to begin. You’ll learn how Stoic philosophy and growth mindset can help you move through discomfort, let go of perfectionism, and build real confidence – one imperfect step at a time. If you’ve been overthinking or biting your tongue, this conversation will help you shift into action. Read the transcript *** I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, a communication and mindset coach. My work i...

What do abandoned mansions in Bucharest have to do with dirty dishes and emotional resentment? In this episode, I explore how our desire for fairness can lead us to self-sabotage — and how Stoic justice asks us to think beyond pride, punishment, and being right. We’ll walk through a real-world example of decades-long property disputes, connect it to the Ultimatum Game in behavioral economics, and look at how these same dynamics show up in our everyday relationships — from family drama to who ...

Mr. Darcy has been on my mind this week. Not because he’s the fantasy of so many women, but because I finally read Pride and Prejudice, and discovered something shocking (to me) about him. I’d always thought of Mr. Darcy as this tall, brooding, misunderstood character. The fabulously wealthy, handsome man who everyone thinks is a jerk, but secretly has a heart of gold and wants to take care of you. This is why women have been obsessed with him for hundreds of years. The strong, silent...

Last week, I gave one of the lightning talks at Stoicon 2024. The topic: How to Combat Speaking Anxiety with Stoicism. Want to see the video? Head to my Substack 👉 Citizens of the World Thanks for listening ❤️ sarahmikutel.com Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at s...

Why do we get angry? How can we challenge our immediate reactions? And what's the best way to articulate our feelings without passive aggression or a blow-up? In this episode, you'll learn four Stoic tips to turn potential conflicts into opportunities for personal growth and stronger relationships. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarit...

I’m reading David Fideler’s excellent book Breakfast with Seneca, where he quotes Seneca in one of his letters: “If you want to escape your troubles, you don't need to be somewhere else: you need to be someone else.” Those searching for meaning or purpose in life might think a new place will provide answers. But a new location, a new job, a new partner doesn’t guarantee a better life or a fresh start. Finding purpose involves understanding your values, interests, and goals. ...

Our intentions don’t always line up with our outcomes, and misunderstandings lead to anger, sadness, frustration, and conflict. In this episode, I’ll talk about intent vs impact, which is more important, and how to effectively and ethically communicate your intentions. Of course, I’ll be weaving in the timeless wisdom of the Stoics. Hi, I’m Sarah Mikutel, your communication and mindset coach, an Enneagram 9 expat in England, and practicing Stoic. Introverts come to me to learn to spea...

Introvert Emergency Kit Click here if you're ready to become a less anxious, more charismatic public speaker. When it comes to public speaking, what exactly are you afraid of? Most people I talk to don’t explore their fears at all – and this makes them worse. The thought of public speaking brings up such uncomfortable feelings that they try to ignore them or stuff them down – which is why they continue to suffer from speaking anxiety, one of the most common fears in the wo...

As human beings, we’re naturally inclined to take care of ourselves and our immediate family. This is the center of our circles of concern. As Stoics, of course, we believe we can extend our sense of care and belonging (oikeiosis) to also include our community, country, and the rest of the world. I believe travel is one of the best ways to practice oikeiosis. This is why I’m sharing part of an interview I did on my podcast Live Without Borders. I’m speaking with my friend Zlatina, a Bul...

We often hear how negative self-comparisons can be, especially when it comes to social media. But what if we could use comparison as a force for good? A tool to help us grow and flourish at work and in our personal lives? Great news, we can! Today you’ll learn how to stop negatively comparing yourself to others and start measuring your progress in healthier and more productive ways. Plus, you’ll learn the scientific theory about why you’re actually more likable the less perfect you are...

Have you ever wondered why the richest countries on Earth consistently rank so high in anxiety and depression? Research says this is because we’re so overstimulated by instant gratification that our brains never feel satisfied and become increasingly unhappy in the quest for more. We’re literally addicted to pursuing pleasures that will never satisfy us. The cure to this man-made misery? Self-control. The Stoics knew 2,300 years ago that the key to a tranquil and virtuous life lay...

Ever been cut off mid-sentence and feel a whirlwind of emotions – frustration, anger, embarrassment? Why do we take interruptions so personally, and how can we use Stoicism to handle them with grace? I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel, and in this episode, I dive into effective communication and mindset strategies that will help you be seen and heard. By the end, you'll be equipped to handle interruptions confidently, communicate effectively, and enjoy life with more wisdom and less anxiety. ...

What do courage and resilience truly mean? This Memorial Day, I reflect on the incredible bravery of the 'Greatest Generation' during World War II, drawing inspiration from my visits to historic locations such as Auschwitz and Churchill's War Rooms in London. From blackouts to rationing, the everyday experiences of European civilians during WWII serve as a testament to human resilience. In the film Saving Private Ryan, a dying Captain Miller says to Matt Damon's character: "Ea...

Have you ever noticed how our thoughts and reactions can create unnecessary stress, or cultivate empathy and understanding for others? On a recent flight to Florida, I was reminded of the power of perception and emotional resiliency. I share the story of passengers clapping after a smooth landing, the reactions of those around me as a father rushed to exit the plane, and how the simple words of a child turned turbulence into an exciting adventure. Inspired by the wisdom of Epictetus, we'll...

Do you have a philosophy that you live your life by? My guest today thinks you should — and so do all the Stoics who came before her. I’m speaking with Brittany Polat, author of Tranquility Parenting: A Guide to Staying Calm, Mindful, and Engaged and Journal Like a Stoic: A 90-Day Stoicism Program to Live with Greater Acceptance, Less Judgment, and Deeper Intentionality. She’s also a steering committee member of Modern Stoicism, and co-founder, along with Eve Riches, of the nonpr...

What would life be like if we felt more happy connections with people on a regular basis? How can we embrace the wider world and bring people closer to us, even if for a few moments at the seaside? Oikeiosis Stoics believe we are all citizens of the world, part of one global community. This is Stoic cosmopolitanism. The Stoic philosopher Seneca said: “Our relations with one another are like a stone arch, which would collapse if the stones did not mutually support each o...

Harvard researchers have been studying what makes people happy for decades. Since 1938, they’ve been following the same people, and then their families, to learn more about what makes a good life. This is the longest-running study of its kind involving hundreds of people across different walks of life. JFK was even involved when he was a student. So what did they discover in this happiness survey? Money, fame, and awards don’t lead to long-term happiness. Here’s what doe...

I’m hosting a 2023 Goal-Mapping Workshop on Jan. 14. It’s free and a replay will be available for a few days after if you register in advance. This isn’t a lecture – it’s a very interactive session. You’ll: Create a vision for your year that aligns with your values and prioritiesBreak down your big goals into manageable tasks that don't overwhelm youDevelop a plan of action to stay on track and avoid procrastinationPrioritize your tasks and projects in a way that helps you stay focuse...

Around January 1, we set goals that we intend to keep. But most of us break these vows before the month is over – why? What’s the real reason people won’t change? And how can we use Stoicism and modern psychology to start? To truly be free and move forward, we need to cultivate helpful thoughts and let go of unhelpful ones. This is how we become resilient and learn to flow with life instead of fighting it. But what if you’re not even aware of your unhelpful thoughts? ...

What does Auld Lang Syne mean and why is its message so important? Find out in this episode. Also, Happy New Year! What are your intentions for this year? https://sarahmikutel.com/ Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeting or just talking with friends. Download it at sarahmikutel.com/blanknomore and start feeling more c...

It’s that time of year when we encourage each other to slow down, appreciate what we have, and be present with others. But how do we stay in the moment when our minds keep drifting to what’s happening next week, or what occurred 10 years ago? That’s what this episode is about. Sarahmikutel.com Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you...

Chocolate. Lots of us love it. Where does it come from? Who makes it? And how can we be ethical consumers of chocolate? I want the answer to be easy — like, just by such-and-such chocolate bar. But the answer is more complicated than that. Today I’m speaking with cocoa and chocolate scholar (and lover of chocolate) Dr. Kristy Leissle, an American who now lives in South Africa. Kristy, aka Dr. Chocolate, wrote the book Cocoa and has spent her career studying the politics, eco...

Chances are this holiday season you'll have to talk to at least one person who drives you bananas. But what if this doesn't have to stress you out? What if you could have a good conversation? What if this could be your least angst-filled holiday yet? It can be! Here are five ancient Stoic techniques (backed up by modern psychology) to manage your anger and anxiety when talking to people you think are difficult. sarahmikutel.com Do you ever go blank or start rambling w...

On a recent trip, I learned that the last so-called witch to be executed in Scotland died in 1727. Of course, there are still people being tortured, killed, and scapegoated around the world today. But we’re more likely to be involved in hanging people on social media. Do you ever go blank or start rambling when someone puts you on the spot? I created a free Conversation Cheat Sheet with simple formulas you can use so you can respond with clarity, whether you’re in a meeti...

On a recent trip to Scotland, I ate well, I drank well -- didn’t so much sleep well. But I enjoyed just the right amount of indulgence for me on a trip. This kind of happiness is hedonia. Hedonic pleasure is about, well, pleasure. Comfort. Satisfaction. What feels good in the moment. Pleasure coming from external things. A massage after a long day. A bite of flourless chocolate cake. Sprawling out on your beach towel and doing nothing. These pleasures are fun and worthwhile a...

What are the life skills that really matter? In this episode, you’ll hear specifics on how to live a good life. A simple life. One that will give you more energy and inner peace. I’m joined by Stephen Warley, fellow Stoicism lover and host of the Life Skills That Matter podcast. This interview originally aired on my other podcast, LIVE Without Borders, a year or so ago. I think you’ll get a lot out of it, so I’m sharing it with you here. Our interview was a two-parter. In part one...

You know when you’re traveling and you see families fuming in the airport or no longer speaking to each other at dinner? Chances are, one of them, or multiple people, blew something out of proportion and are still reacting to it. Why does this happen? How can we be more emotionally resilient, that is, more Stoic, and enjoy a more smoothly flowing life? Let’s dive into why things don’t have to upset us with an AirBnB story… Hello! I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel. But the...

Note: I recorded this awhile ago. With everything happening in Ukraine, this information is more important than ever. *** Where do these emotions come from? What are emotions? How can we cultivate healthy emotions that improve our own wellbeing, and thereby our positive impact on the world? That’s what I want to talk about today. Here's a little taste... Most people think emotions run their lives, but, in her popular Ted Talk, Dr. Lisa Feldman Bar...

In this episode, I am back with my friend Kai Whiting, co-author of the book Being Better: Stoicism for a World Worth Living In. Kai is a researcher and lecturer in sustainability and Stoicism currently living in Lisbon, Portugal. If you’re into ancient ruins, you will love the beginning of our interview, where Kai talks about the research he conducted in Pompeii. And then we spend a lot of the conversation talking about what it means to be a citizen of the world, a...

As a listener of this podcast, you’ve already heard me talk about how the ancient philosophy of Stoicism offers guidance on how we can live the good life in the modern world. How to be less stressed. How to be a better listener. How to be more productive. But Stoicism is about more than improving ourselves on an individual level, it’s about improving our communities and being an active member of society. “No one is an island,” says today’s guest. That’s actually the title of c...

Janus is the Roman god of beginnings and endings, transitions and passageways, doorways and duality, amongst several other things. And he was one of my favorite sculptures in my town’s art Triennial this year, formally known as the Creative Folkestone Triennial 2021. High up on the East Cliff, in a little park overlooking the ocean, stood this massive head of Janus, who’s typically portrayed with two faces, one facing toward the future and the other face looking toward the past.&...

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life,” Seneca says, “it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today.” Seneca, On the Shortness of Life. Most of us don’t follow through on our New Year’s Resolutions because we treat them like wishes and not goals. Ideally, if we want to achieve a goal, we map out a plan to achieve it and follow through. Today’s episode...

How to cultivate loving kindness during the holiday season (and all year!) ❤️ Hello! I'm your host, Sarah Mikutel. But the real question is, who are you? Where are you now and where do you want to be? Can I help you get there? Visit sarahmikutel.com to learn how we can work together to help you achieve more peace, happiness, and positive transformation in your life. Book your Enneagram typing session by going to sarahmikutel.com/typingsession Do you ever go blank or start rambling when so...

It does not take much to make some people angry. We live in a society where people are quick to take offense. To feel victimized. To be enraged at people with opposing views. Political leaders and certain media outlets stir the pot for their own benefit. In my episode on Stoicism and the Art of Happiness, Donald Robertson offered some techniques we can use to manage our anger toward people who hold views that we strongly disagree with. Today I want to talk to you about becoming more...

Growing up, what were your family’s eating habits? Fruits and vegetables? Canned spaghetti and doughnuts? At our house, once in a while we’d have pizza, and maybe once a year for a crazy treat we could pick out a sugary cereal -- Booberry was my fav. But for the most part, we were a junk food-free house. Fast forward quite a few years, and now when I go home to visit, it’s like I’m entering Candy Land. Brownies, cookies, pies staring me in the face. Even though I don’t have ...

Most of our suffering comes from thoughts that we let run wild in our brains. We spend a lot of time each day rehashing different conversations and situations in our mind, and we think that we’re just reviewing facts. But we’re not. We’re reflecting on our own points of view, assuming what others think, worrying about the future, and ruminating about the past. The ancient Stoics understood that our thoughts are nothing more than stories we tell ourselves. And modern mental h...

I've had a travel podcast for several years now called LIVE Without Borders, where I interview women like myself who packed up everything to start a new adventure in another part of the world. One of the core values that I talk about is that we will never have this day again — make it matter. It's my softer way of saying 'If you died tomorrow, would you be satisfied with how you lived this day?' I knew I didn't invent this way of thinking but I didn't realize that Stoics have ...

Even though I haven't lived in the U.S. for 10 years, I've been in Italy and England for most of this time, I still pay close attention to my home country. And my goodness, things are heated. I see the divisiveness and bitter partisanship. People are becoming more tribal. Canceling out opposing views. At the same time people seem desperate for connection and to be part of something greater than themselves. And then I look around and see what they're gravitating toward. If they're not reli...

New to the Enneagram? Welcome to your introductory class. At its most basic level, the Enneagram is a framework that says there are nine personality types, and each of the nine types has a different core motivation driving their behavior and beliefs. Why do you do the things you do? What motivates you? How do you see the world? How does the world see you? We all have a little of every type in us, but one of the types is our core type and it doesn’t change. You might wonder why p...

Do you wish you cared less about what other people think? That you were less anxious and more comfortable putting yourself out there? That you could take faster (or any) action on your dreams? Then welcome to Stoic Wellbeing. On this show, I share Stoic and other wellbeing practices to help you thrive and live with arete — with excellence — so you can better yourself, your community, and your world at large. I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, an American in England who uses Stoic...