BDSM United Podcast

On this first podcast of The Leading Life, a vanilla-friendly project we are working on, we look at the Wikipedia page on Leadership and talk about our philosophy of Leadership and who we feel can become a leader.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we look at one of the ethical schools of thought that sprung up following the golden age of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we look at one of the ethical schools of thought that sprung up following the golden age of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we look at one of the ethical schools of thought that sprung up following the golden age of Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. We recently bought a book on Ethics 101 that we recommend for this series: https://amzn.to/3SxX1ka

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we look at the Greek philosopher Aristotle and his views on achieving ethical happiness through temperance.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we look at the Greek philosopher Plato and how his ideas about society and political thought influenced Ethics.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we look at the Greek philosopher Socrates and how he shaped the formation of Ethics.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we show where Moral Philosophy, aka Ethics, fits within the whole of Philosophy.

Welcome to our series Kink Ethics 101 where we look at Ethics from a kinky perspective and how they apply within our culture. In today's episode we introduce the topic and give a few opening definitions. We recently bought a book on Ethics 101 that we recommend for this series: https://amzn.to/3SxX1ka

Today in this mini-series we look at stories people have shared about their spooky sexual encounters with spirits, ghosts, and demons. We give our spiritual advice on how to prevent your own BDSM Horror Story!

Today in this mini-series we continue with more bad sex stories. Our goal is to see what we would or could change giving advice on how to prevent your own BDSM Horror Story!

Today in this mini-series we are warming ourselves up with some bad sex stories. Our goal is to see what we would or could change giving advice on how to prevent your own BDSM Horror Story!

In the final installment of this mini-series we are continuing to look at that stats for how often accidents and injuries take place within the kink community. We also look at who they happen to and what levels of injuries occur. Lastly we give more advice on how to prevent your own BDSM Horror Story!

In the third installment of this mini-series we are continuing to look at that stats for how often accidents and injuries take place within the kink community. We also look at who they happen to and what levels of injuries occur. Lastly we give more advice on how to prevent your own BDSM Horror Story!

In the second part of this mini-series we are looking at that stats for how often accidents and injuries take place within the kink community. We also look at who they happen to and what levels of injuries occur. Lastly we warn against predators and give advice on how to prevent your own BDSM Horror Story!

In the first part of this mini-series we are looking at a Buzzfeed "Would You Rather" quiz and pointing out some of the problematic questions that arise from the humorous kinky quiz. We follow it up with three ethical safety mottos that exist within kink: SSC, RACK, and PRICK.

Shame is a powerful emotion that can have a profound impact on individuals. It often stems from the world's tendency to be harsh and unforgiving towards those who are perceived as different. This is especially true for individuals with unconventional desires or interests, commonly referred to as kinks. Ultimately, it is crucial to embrace our own uniqueness and not let shame dictate our lives.

The ambiguity of the term 'Alpha sub' often generates a myriad of reactions, from intrigue to confusion, as it defies traditional identity categories. The complexity arises from the various contexts and personal experiences that individuals bring to the table when interpreting what submission means to them.

Today is part two of our interview little libra who is co-host of the BDSM United Podcast, a BDSM Educator, a little and a submissive in a long-term power exchange relationship with Master Saturn. Together they run Whips, Chains & Duct Tape which she founded in 2012 and has provided hundreds of thousands of adults with tools and resources for learning non-violent, consensual traditional BDSM.

Today we interview little libra who is co-host of the BDSM United Podcast, a BDSM Educator, a little and a submissive in a long-term power exchange relationship with Master Saturn. Together they run Whips, Chains & Duct Tape which she founded in 2012 and has provided hundreds of thousands of adults with tools and resources for learning non-violent, consensual traditional BDSM.

It is sometimes a controversial topic, especially among those who insist one's submission is a gift. Ultimately, the power in a power exchange dynamic rests with the individuals who willingly and consensually engage in the dynamic, ensuring that all parties involved feel safe, respected, and fulfilled.

Kink can be both intense and a bit risky, one can become triggered from past hurt or trauma. Handling triggers in a relationship requires patience, understanding, and open communication. By following the steps outlined in today's podcast, you can work towards creating a safe and supportive environment for both you and your partner.

Welcome to the exhilarating week of Scorpio Season! Prepare yourself for an intense period filled with passion, depth, and transformation. Scorpio Season invites you to embrace your inner strength and tap into your innate ability to regenerate and rise from the ashes. It's a time for deep introspection, self-discovery, and embracing your true desires. So buckle up and get ready for a week of intense growth and empowerment! Based on the book "The Secret Language of Relationships" by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers. https://amzn.to/3QbMqbX

What I commonly find is that many people's online FetLife profiles don't match the identity listed by their name. Not to mention the vast majority of people that don't even fill the profile out! We share our own tips to writing a profile that matches your identity as consistently as possible. We also share advice from Dating Kinky expert Nookie.

Vetting a potential play partner an old school practice in BDSM that gets ignored too often in today’s meet-online-first world. Before you get kinky with someone for the first time, do your homework on who this person is instead of just taking their word for it.

As we move from Libra season in the season of Scorpio, a heightened sense of the drama of life, both in a philosophical and personal sense, leads to an increased awareness of the dynamics of one's own existence. A highly critical attitude emerges that cuts away careless generalizations and sloppy thinking, and aims for the essence of truth. Based on the book "The Secret Language of Relationships" by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers. https://amzn.to/3QbMqbX

Several years ago there was an internal push within the kink community to erase "Top and bottom" by those who erroneously stated "You're not real unless you are into D/s!!" Today we dispel that myth and give a crash course on Topping and Bottoming.

The formal lifestyle is filled with traditions and ceremonies that are seldom witnessed by the outside world and perhaps one of the most moving and meaningful is the "bonding ritual" or Ceremony of the Roses. This ceremony is steeped in symbolism and mystique. Today we explore this beautiful ritual together!

Do you have a spirit of submission, that is an aura or an essence of it? Is submission just something you do or is it also part of your inner being? If being a submissive is your identity, you should be developing submission in your heart. Today we give you two practical exercises you can do to immediately begin to develop your submissive identity.

When beginning a power exchange dynamic in a new or existing relationship, it is usually helpful to have a series of discussions in order to form a Training Contract. Today we give you tips for creating them and help ease the anxieties surrounding making relationship contracts.

Consistency is great for an identity within a power exchange relationship. As long as those involved have the good character and willingness to make the relationship work, consistent structure will work for them. But consistency is bad for fetishes, kinks, and sexual expressions. There is a time and a place for those things.

We find ourselves in a middle path between Tradition and Innovation trying to do a power exchange relationship that is both modern yet respectful of traditions. How do we tell that we are being successful in those goals? What can we use to measure success? Today we talk about the hidden key to it all.

Today we look for a middle path somewhere between traditional BDSM and TNG. Because we can't go back in time and yet we want to honor what has already been built and passed along to us. "Having a good idea of what has been tried in the past is an enormous asset, but it has to be combined with a willingness to adapt the lessons of the past to the needs of the ever-changing present. A body of knowledge that remains absolutely fixed over time, incapable of absorbing new lessons and insights, is not a tradition but a corpse." -John Michael Greer

BDSM Summer School is in session this year focusing on consensual Master/slave relationships. In this episode we look at how the Leatherman subculture of the 1950s shaped modern M/s relationships. We highlight portions of a handbook from 1972 showing how early practitioners of BDSM viewed M/s.

BDSM Summer School is in session this year focusing on consensual Master/slave relationships. In this episode we look at the path from abolitionist propaganda to sadomasochistic pornography. Much of this development occurred after the abolition of slavery in Europe and North America. As slavery receded from living memory it lost moral urgency and became a fertile source for sexual fantasy.

BDSM Summer School is in session this year focusing on consensual Master/slave relationships. In this episode we look at the origins of ancient Greco-Roman slavery and contrast them with modern BDSM relationships showing the vast differences between the legal and social implications of both forms of slavery.

BDSM Summer School is in session this year focusing on consensual Master/slave relationships. In this episode we look at Orlando Patterson’s "Slavery and Social Death" (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1982) contrasting the three-part definition Patterson uses to define involuntary slavery with that of non-violent, consensual Master/slave relationships.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. The core of BDSM is communication and consent. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. Perhaps you have seen the symbol used in our logo and wondered what does it stand for? That and many other symbols are part of our culture. We look at many of the ones you will see and tell you what they mean and why they are part of BDSM.

Today's podcast is an unscripted look at where BDSM has come from, how political ideology has influenced where we are presently, and how to shape the future of BDSM. There is a tension between people that are left of center and right of center on the spectrum of political thought. We give our advice for finding consensus and shaping BDSM based on traditional integrity and moral character.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. There was a time when a collar was more important than a wedding ring. The meaning of the collar has as many definitions now as there are people. Each person has his or her own definition. So what does it mean to have a collar?

The Dominant partner has a plan and the submissive has the play space ready. Kneeling in anticipation, the submissive waits for the Dom to enter the room. Today we wanted to help you set the stage for what goes into building kinky play scenes and talk about the emotions and mindspace to getting into a scene. We also play some music we created to help communicate the feelings of the first moments of a kink scene.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. You're ready to explore BDSM... now what should people call you? Today we talk all about scene names and titles.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. As you begin dipping your toes into BDSM Culture it's good to take a self-inventory by asking yourself, "Who am I? Why am I here? What am I looking for?" Today we help you explore those questions.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. Imagine you are standing outside our culture looking in. Today we discuss what you might hope to find within and the possibilities that exist within BDSM Culture.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. Today we talk about the difference between Vanilla and Kink.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. Today we talk about the darker side of BDSM and what people might discover within our culture.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. Today we talk about motives for becoming involved in BDSM.

Welcome to our ABCs of BDSM podcast series. Today we talk about the importance of having a solid foundational knowledge of our culture.

Vetting a new partner is something we have lost as a society, not just in the BDSM community.  We see all the time a person ends one relationship and within a week, or less, be chest deep in a new relationship and deeply in love again. So, what is vetting and why is it so important? In Part Two we talk about vetting for kink-related things and vetting for a potential power exchange relationship.

Vetting a new partner is something we have lost as a society, not just in the BDSM community.  We see all the time a person ends one relationship and within a week, or less, be chest deep in a new relationship and deeply in love again. So, what is vetting and why is it so important? In Part One we talk about vetting for those things outside of the bedroom.

While it may be a fun roleplay scene to temporarily act like it, in real relationships dominance and submission are not taken by force. Submission isn't given to the one with the most primal urge to take it. Trust is how dominance and submission are earned within BDSM. After vetting, during a period of consideration and while doing negotiations the process of building trust begins. Today we talk about the six building blocks for building trust within BDSM relationships.

Self-collaring is where the s-type will collar themselves. This is usually done to express self-love, taking ownership of their own submission (after a bad relationship) to help heal and ground themselves before getting back into looking for a D-type. This is fairly new, and for the most part only recognized by TNG. Today we talk about collars and give our advice for self-collaring.

Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have ever considered. It's also a good place to make friends with local people and organize events. But since the search capacity is limited it can be very difficult to find the information you may be looking for.

Pain, as a magical or ritual technique, can be generally sorted into one of seven different categories. It should not cause too much in the way of physical damage, because that might make you pass out and miss the entire experience. It's carefully controlled, carefully orchestrated pain and the best way to work with it is to do it slowly and with attention to the reaction of one's body.

Think for a moment about the traditions that are commonly called Old Guard. The term itself describes a philosophy, not a group per se. A group of people existed that formed and worked toward developing this philosophy. Today we talk about the two main philosophies of BDSM that exist today and how BDSM history is unique from SM history. Recommended reading is A Lover's Pinch: A Cultural History of Sadomasochism https://amzn.to/3JUfz9Z

We begin a play scene with negotiations and do the scene with techniques and safety, but how do we end a scene? Today we give you a picture of how aftercare might look, some possibilities for things the bottom may encounter during aftercare. And we talk about a variety of the floating feelings they might enjoy after a scene.

Today we help you answer the question "am I submissive" by looking at statements on a checklist. These determine if you might be interested in exploring the identity of submissive. Covering topics like service, training, objectification and more!

While subspace is a mindset that submissives may get into when in a scene, subdrop comes after the scene is finished. As play winds down — or if it has to stop suddenly — a submissive may be left with an entirely new bundle of feelings. It’s normal to experience everything from exhaustion to hunger to cold to disorientation toward the end of the scene and for a few hours or days afterward.

You don’t have to be in the BDSM lifestyle long to hear the phrase ‘subspace,’ but what exactly does it mean? Subspace is a mindset that submissives may get into when in a scene. You’ll see why this happens to some people and not others, why it doesn't happen in every scene.

Today we talk about the differences between submissives and slaves. D/s relationship is based on power exchange while M/s is based on authority transfer. We look at both ways for a person to be submissive to help them decide which relationship style interests them.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we wrap up this part of our series talking about invocation and evocation. We also talk about some necessary safeguards you should have in place before performing magic.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk about ritual magic and how magic differs from sorcery.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk more about astral projection and journeying through the astral realm.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk about astral projection and dreaming.

We discovered a problem in our podcast recording software and we wanted to tell you about it and that we got it fixed. Thanks for listening!

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk about more about practicing the kundalini awaking meditation and how kundalini energy moves through the chakras.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk about meditation and introduce the kundalini awaking meditation.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk about the serious negative effects of fatigue on a magician and ways to battle fatigue.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we talk about the magic of silence and developing your Inner Temple.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic. Today we look a little more at the power of the human will and what you can achieve with it.

A safe word is something you use during a scene to let your partner know if you are ok, need to slow down/readjust or to stop. While most kinksters use the stoplight method, you can use any word(s) that you can remember easily as long as it is not something normally said during a scene. If safe words are ignored a lot of unwanted physical and emotional damage can be done during a scene that wasn’t consented.

If you want a long term partner you need to be testing for things like self-awareness, integrity, strength of character, consistency, and someone’s willingness to face discomfort and adversity. Surface level characteristics can make for an exciting and novelty filled beginning but they don’t stand the test of time, relationally. The reason why people waste time is because they don’t think they have time, so they commit to misaligned relationship after misaligned relationship rather than actually saving time by going slowly and actually vetting before committing. If we want depth, we have to live deeply and vet deeply. If we want surface, then live surface and vet surface.

Self-esteem relates to how you feel about yourself, whether you like yourself. Being submissive is not about being a "doormat" or a "lesser person". But the sad thing is, many go through life feeling less than what they truly are. Today we give you three solutions to building a healthy self-esteem. It is a long road to repairing damages of the past, but it can be done.

In today's show we explain why it's so important, and the different options you have when planning your safe call. A safe call is when you call someone to let them know you are ok, and more importantly safe. You meet someone new (either at a munch or online) and this is either the first time meeting face to face, or first time alone. More than likely you won’t need the safecalls or have your friends call for help but evil stuff does happen, and some people are fake and abusive. It’s better to plan and be safe than have no one to call and you know you’re not going to live through this.

Many of his peers claim that the book is askew and some even claim some of things Master John states as facts are actually a fabrication. We have the book in our library, along with most of the books discussing that Old Guard era and we simply don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So let's look at parts of the Leatherman's Protocol Handbook to help us piece together an image of the puzzle that we consider Old Guard history.

Many of his peers claim that the book is askew and some even claim some of things Master John states as facts are actually a fabrication. We have the book in our library, along with most of the books discussing that Old Guard era and we simply don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So let's look at parts of the Leatherman's Protocol Handbook to help us piece together an image of the puzzle that we consider Old Guard history.

Many of his peers claim that the book is askew and some even claim some of things Master John states as facts are actually a fabrication. We have the book in our library, along with most of the books discussing that Old Guard era and we simply don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So let's look at parts of the Leatherman's Protocol Handbook to help us piece together an image of the puzzle that we consider Old Guard history.

Many of his peers claim that the book is askew and some even claim some of things Master John states as facts are actually a fabrication. We have the book in our library, along with most of the books discussing that Old Guard era and we simply don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So let's look at parts of the Leatherman's Protocol Handbook to help us piece together an image of the puzzle that we consider Old Guard history.

Many of his peers claim that the book is askew and some even claim some of things Master John states as facts are actually a fabrication. We have the book in our library, along with most of the books discussing that Old Guard era and we simply don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So let's look at parts of the Leatherman's Protocol Handbook to help us piece together an image of the puzzle that we consider Old Guard history.

Many of his peers claim that the book is askew and some even claim some of things Master John states as facts are actually a fabrication. We have the book in our library, along with most of the books discussing that Old Guard era and we simply don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. So let's look at parts of the Leatherman's Protocol Handbook to help us piece together an image of the puzzle that we consider Old Guard history.

The BDSM lifestyle harbors many dangers, oddly enough most people think only about the dangers to the submissive or slave and not to those dangers present for the Dominant. Among the thousands of dedicated, hard working, honest and disciplined submissives and slaves there are those few that pose a danger. There are those that are users, manipulators, liars, gold diggers, wannabees, and scam artists. Unfortunately sometimes we do not see these individuals for what they truly are until it is too late.

Within this lifestyle there are unfortunately many dangers, there are people out there using the BDSM lifestyle as a way to abuse or use individuals under an umbrella of acceptance. Within each situation there are warning signs that we see, unfortunately sometimes we do not see these warning signs until it is too late. There are many people that say they are a Dominant are not, instead they are users, abusers, predators, wannabees, bullies, and manipulators.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic and uses resources from Don Webb. Today we look at even more practices you can do to keep you on track during your magical journey and hopefully you begin to see they are very similar to the types of self-mastery you have been doing on your BDSM journey.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic and uses resources from Don Webb. Today we look at more practices you can do to keep you on track during your magical journey.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic and uses resources from Don Webb. Today we look at 3 practices you can do to keep you on track during your magical journey. Because it is harder to train oneself, than to have a trainer.

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic and uses resources from Don Webb. Today we answer the question, "Why use sex magick when there are already so many other religions?" We give a brief overview of the Right and Left Hand Paths. We recommend the book "Lords of the Left-Hand Path: Forbidden Practices and Spiritual Heresies" by Stephen Flowers https://amzn.to/3vWZ9FM

Welcome to our intermediate sex magick podcast series. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic and uses resources from Don Webb. Today we talk about the Nature of Magic and the 4 Steps to Performing a Magical Ritual.

Welcome to the first podcast in our intermediate Sex Magick series. This builds upon our previous series on this topic. Setnakt's Sex Magick focuses on Initiatory Magic and uses resources from Don Webb. Today we talk about the 7 Virtues and 7 Vices of a magician.

BDSM is about relationships and interactions between people. It’s about power, control, dominance, surrender, humiliation, pain, and discomfort. Sometimes, but not always, it’s about sex. Today we take a fresh look at BDSM 101 hopefully helping explain our culture and lifestyle in a fresh way.

One might think, from the outside looking in, that processing change in an M/s dynamic is always difficult for those who have given up personal autonomy and transferred authority to a Master or Mistress. However, slaves often have a (consensually) conditioned mindset that accepts changes. Even when they struggle there are tools for their Doms to utilize to help them. Here are a few ways Owners help their slaves process change. Today's episode is an excerpt from the book Power Circuits by Raven Kaldera. https://amzn.to/2ZIOCBk

Today we present Gary Swift's essay on why he coined the motto RACK in order to update SSC's Safe, Sane and Consensual. Swift says, "Nothing's perfectly safe. Crossing the street isn't perfectly safe." He also challenges the notion, "The sane part of SSC is very subjective. Who's making the call?" This is an interesting look at the origin from the one who created RACK.

When we educate about some topics we always get someone who accuses us of being a "one twue way" person or podcast. This is something called the invincible ignorance fallacy where the person in making this statement simply refuses to believe the teaching, ignoring any evidence given. Instead they offer, "There's no one way to do anything in BDSM" which is absurd! We are Traditional, meaning we draw principles from our BDSM history and form a philosophy of how to do BDSM based on those principles. There is BDSM that works and other stuff that, when added, makes BDSM fall apart. We are trying to give people the tools to have good, lasting relationships and safe play scenes. 

Before you get to a contract for a scene or in a relationship dynamic it is important to understand how to make Rules and how to give Orders. The entire concept of the D/s dynamic is a relationship built around a ruleset. Within a play scene as long as the rule won’t undermine your authority, makes logical sense, and is created with a purpose, you’re good to go.

While all toys are for trans folks (because anyone can use any toy with themselves and others), there are some toys that are specifically great for trans folks: specifically, toys that are gender-affirming, both in everyday use and in play. You can check out all the toys mentioned using our SheVibe affiliate link: https://shevibe.com/?rfsn=4817860.3efcec

A kink checklist is usually suitable for scene play and for very new or short-term relationships. For a longer-term relationship that involves a dynamic it's a good idea that all persons involved know each other on a more intimate basis. Here are some medical and health questions to help in your negotiations.

Happy New Year 2023 from BDSM United Podcast!! Here is an episode I recorded a few weeks ago on this relevant topic of BDSM and Kink resolutions and setting goals.

Negotiating a relationship is similar to negotiating a scene. Both come after a potential partner is vetted. Negotiations for a play scene are usually short conversations that happen before you meet for the actual play scene. However negotiating a relationship is a series of longer conversations that happen when a couple decides to consider a power exchange dynamic (such as D/s).