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In need of a little guidance? Desperate for some advice, but too afraid to ask your friends? Award winning author and proud feminist Clementine Ford is here to help. Whether you've got a question about family, career, sex or friendships Clementine is the sister you always wanted, the mum you never had, the aunty who always listened and the friend who's got your back. Dear Clementine is a podcast packed with advice you may not want but you definitely need.
- 127 - I Feel Trapped In My Relationship, But I'm Terrified To End It.
Today's questioner has been in her relationship for the last 10 years, she still loves her partner but feels like she's losing her identity & is trapped in the relationship. She doesn't want to end it because they're the 'golden couple' within their friends & family. She needs a little advice.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 07 Dec 2023 - 126 - How Can I Help Young Women Aspire To More Than Just Marriage?
This question comes from a high school teacher who's concerned that the young women she teaches only have one aspiration - to get married. How can she work with them to help them aspire for more?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 05 Dec 2023 - 125 - I Hate My Ex, But I Can't Stop Thinking About Him.
How do you move on when you can't stop thinking about them? Clem advises.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 03 Dec 2023 - 124 - Your Menopause Questions Answered
In this special episode, Clementine is joined by Dr Sarah White, CEO of Jean Hailes to answer a few of your questions around menopause & peri menopause. They talk stigma, mental health, libido & HRT.
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode briefly mentions suicide.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
Australian Menopause Society
Jean Hailes on Menopause
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fri, 01 Dec 2023 - 123 - Why Do Men Always Think I'm Flirting?
Today's question comes from a listener who's sick of her friendly demeanour being mistaken for flirting. Why do men constantly make this assumption & how should she respond to them?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auGet Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 30 Nov 2023 - 122 - I Want To Leave, But I Don't Know How.
Our questioner is ready to leave her partner of 8 years but is unsure how to. She no longer feels the sexual attraction & is doing most of the domestic work at home. The problem is she has no savings & is studying so she's unsure on how to the separation happen practically. Clem advises.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 28 Nov 2023 - 121 - My Colleague Has An Eating Disorder. What Should I Do?
Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of eating disorders.
This question comes from a concerned listener who believes her colleague may be suffering from an eating disorder. She's concerned the colleague needs help, but that others in the office are continually commenting on her appearance & adding to the problem. So what should she do?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
ADDITIONAL SUPPORT
The Butterfly Foundation
Find out more about the helplines availableCREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 26 Nov 2023 - 120 - I Miss The Old Me. What Should I Do?
Today's question is from a listener who seems to have left all her hobbies in her 20's. Now she's 40 with kids & isn't as motivated to jump into activities as she used to be. She's missing her old self & would like some advice.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 23 Nov 2023 - 119 - My Mother's Group Is Misogynistic. Help!
The question today comes from a mother who's concerned her mothers group have outdated views when it comes to the parenting responsibilities of men. How can she correct them & draw their attention to the fact that this should be a 50/50 partnership without coming across as rude?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 21 Nov 2023 - 118 - My Partner Had An Emotional Affair. What Do I Do?
This one is from a person whose partner has been having an emotional affair with a 22yo colleague. They've stayed together for a little while after the affair, but now they feel like it's time to go. The only thing hold them back is their daughter. Will they blow their life up by leaving & how can they be sure that what's on the other side will be better?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 16 Nov 2023 - 117 - The Boys Club Language Is Annoying Me. Help!
Today's question comes from a woman who's finding the automatic cordiality between men grating. Is the 'hey mate' language that's rarely directed at women a sign of our 'boy's club' culture?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 116 - I Need My Mother For Childcare, But Don't Want To Be Around Her
Our listener today depends on her mother for child care but is finding it difficult to maintain the relationship given her mother's troubling views. How can she stay true to herself & also the reality that she needs to keep her mother in her life given the practicalities?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 12 Nov 2023 - 115 - I Want To Change My Name, But Will I Regret It?
The question today is from someone who no longer feels connected to their legal name. Their given name is a biblical one & they are no longer religious. Plus their name has never really felt like 'them' anyone. Should they change it or will they end up regretting it?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 09 Nov 2023 - 114 - I Don't. How Can I Support My Friends Who Do?
Our questioner today is someone who's been discussing the premise of Clementine's latest book, 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' with her friends. While they all agree with the idea that marriage is an outdated, patriarchal construct, her friends do still get married & become wives. How can she support them while being firm in her beliefs?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 07 Nov 2023 - 113 - I Was Stealthed. What Do I Do Now?
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault.
Today's question is from a listener who's been on a few nice dates with a man, but on their last date, when things went further & they were having sex, he didn't wear a condom even though she'd asked him to. He made his excuses, but she still feels uneasy. Does this incident make him a bad person? Is she over-reacting & how can she trust men in the bedroom again?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Get Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 05 Nov 2023 - 112 - I Want To Leave, But I'm Worried About My Kids.
This question is from a person who's ready to leave their partner, but is worried about the impact on their kids - will they suffer if their dad's not around? Will they be picked on from coming from a 'broken home'? Clem advises.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 02 Nov 2023 - 111 - Should I Change My Name Back To My Maiden Name?
Our question comes from a woman who got married 10 years ago & changed her name without really thinking about it. A decade later, she regrets the decision & wants to change it back to her maiden name. Her husband says she's being ridiculous. Is she?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage' now!
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 31 Oct 2023 - 110 - Why Are Women Only Celebrated When They Get Married?
It's marriage week on Dear Clementine to celebrate the release of Clementine's latest book 'I Don't: The Case Against Marriage'. All week Clementine will be answering your questions around marriage & sharing the phenomenal knowledge she's gathered in the process of writing the book.
Today's question is from a woman who's 29 & entering the phase in her life where many of her friends & colleagues are getting married - whilst she's happy for them, she doesn't want to get married & is growing resentful of the fact that these couples are being celebrated for living a 'traditional life'. She fears fading into the background because she's chosen to opt out. How should she negotiate these feelings?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book here.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 29 Oct 2023 - 109 - My Son's Uncles Are Terrible Role Models, How Do I Protect Him?
This question comes from a woman expecting a baby boy. While there are some wonderful role models in her life, her brothers are absolutely not. She doesn't want to cut them out of her life but she also doesn't want them around her son. What should she do?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't' here.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 26 Oct 2023 - 108 - Should I Be Weary Sharing About My Kids Online?
This question comes from a mum who is becoming more concerned with what she shares online about her children. Is she over-reacting or is she right to have strict rules around her children's digital footprint?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't' here.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 24 Oct 2023 - 107 - My Family Body Shame My Child. Help!
Our question today is from a listener whose 8 month old son is already the target of body-shaming comments from her family. There have been comments about his size & reference to diets. Is this fat-phobia & how can she deal with them?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't' here.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 22 Oct 2023 - 106 - Am I Obliged To Clean Up If I'm Not Paying Rent?
In this episode we hear from a listener who's currently staying with her brother. She's not paying rent & he expects her to pick up after him in exchange for the accommodation. Is she obliged to do so?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't' here.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 19 Oct 2023 - 105 - What Can I Do When The Loneliness Creeps In?
Today our question comes from a person who doesn't want to settle for a relationship they're not happy in, but also isn't sure how to deal with the loneliness they sometimes feel in their new solo life.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Pre order Clementine's new book 'I Don't' here.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 18 Oct 2023 - 104 - I Found Messages To Another Woman. What Do I Do?
Today, a question from a woman who has supported her husband in every aspect of his life only to find out he's been having an emotional affair. What should she do?
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mon, 16 Oct 2023 - 103 - My Dad Asked Me To Keep His Affair Secret. What Do I Do?
Today's question is a complex one - from a son who's been asked to keep his father's affair secret. It's a burden that's playing on his mind - he doesn't want to be the one to share news that could end his parent's marriage, but he also doesn't want to keep his mum in the dark.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 12 Oct 2023 - 102 - Is It Time To Let The Friendship Go?
Our listener today has been friends with a neighbour for the past 3 years. Since the friend moved away, she's contacted her multiple times but with no answer. Should our listener address it with her or accept the friendship is done?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 10 Oct 2023 - 101 - How Do I Stay True To Who I Am In My Male Dominated Career?
Today's question comes from a young woman who's just started out on a career in politics. She wants to know how she can stay true to herself whilst navigating people who automatically see her as lesser because she is a young woman.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auPlease vote for Dear Clementine as Listener's Choice in the Australian Podcast Awards.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 08 Oct 2023 - 100 - How Can I Start To Put Myself Out There Creatively?
Our question today comes from a listener who realises that her fear of putting herself out there creatively has stopped her from doing the things she truly loves. How can she start to feel comfortable putting herself out there or feel the fear and do it anyway?
Please vote for Dear Clementine as Listener's Choice in the Australian Podcast Awards.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 05 Oct 2023 - 99 - I'm Comfortable Talking To My Kids About Sex, But My Co-Parent Isn't. Help!
This question comes from a dad whose son has started to ask him questions about sex. Whilst he's comfortable talking openly, his sons mother isn't. So is this a part of a bigger issue & how can he talk to her about this so that his son gets both perspectives?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Please vote for Dear Clementine as Listener's Choice in the Australian Podcast Awards.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 03 Oct 2023 - 98 - Should I Start An Only Fans?
This question comes from a woman in her late twenties who, with the rising cost of living is considering starting an Only Fans, but is concerned it may harm her future career prospects.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Please vote for Dear Clementine as Listener's Choice in the Australian Podcast Awards.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 01 Oct 2023 - 97 - How Can I Reconcile My Rage Against The Patriarchy With Wanting A Relationship With A Man?
How does today's questioner reconcile their passion for equality and their deep patriarchal rage, with their need and want to continue to exist amongst, sleep with and have relationships with straight men?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
Please vote for Dear Clementine as Listener's Choice in the Australian Podcast Awards.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 28 Sep 2023 - 96 - How Do I Tell Partners About My Trauma?
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode involves discussion of sexual abuse.
The question today is from a listener who'd like some guidance on how to share their history of sexual trauma with new partners.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auPlease vote for Dear Clementine as Listener's Choice in the Australian Podcast Awards.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 27 Sep 2023 - 95 - Can Marriage Ever Be Truly Equal?
Our questioner in the episode is getting married next month & wants to know whether Clem feels there's space for a new kind of marriage in society where it's not the ultimate validation of a woman's worth? Can it be a conscious choice made by two people working towards a shared goal?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 24 Sep 2023 - 94 - Thoughts On Russell Brand & Victim Blaming
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode involves discussion of sexual abuse.
This episode is a discussion of allegations against and the accountability of high-profile men, especially in the media.
The episode discusses Russell Brand who has been accused of rape and sexual assaults by women who have broken their silence on alleged attacks between 2006 and 2013.
These are allegations only. Russell Brand vehemently denies the allegations and maintains that the relationships he had were absolutely, always consensual. No criminal charges have been laid.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fri, 22 Sep 2023 - 93 - How Do I Teach My Son That Main Characters Aren't Always Male?
This episode's question comes from a mum who's noticing that her son's world is filled with male main characters - in books, songs, shows. How can she teach him that this isn't the way things always are or should be?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 19 Sep 2023 - 92 - I'm Jealous Of My Wealthy Friends. Help!
In this episode, our questioner is struggling to deal with the jealousy she has towards her wealthy friends. She says they are incredible friendships but she just can't get over the admiration she feels for their fortunes. She'd like some advice on how to reckon with this uncomfortable feeling.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auCREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 17 Sep 2023 - 91 - Should I Find Friends Who Have More In Common With Me?
The listener in today's episode is concerned that she may have grown apart from her long-term friendship group. They're keen for marriage & babies & they just don't understand why those things aren't a part of her plan. Is it time for her to find some friends that she has more in common with?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 14 Sep 2023 - 90 - As A High School Teacher, How Can I Push Back Against Andrew Tate's Ideology?
Today's writer is a high school teacher keen for some guidance on dealing with young and impressionable men who have embraced the troubling views of Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson. She want to foster critical thinking and respectful discussions, but would like Clem's advice on how to navigate the situation.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 13 Sep 2023 - 89 - My Friends Criticise Their Bodies. How Do I Ask Them To Stop?
Our listener in this episode has done a lot of work to come to a place of body neutrality & wants to know how she can stop her friends from spouting diet culture BS.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auCREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 10 Sep 2023 - 88 - My Boss Told Me I'm Too Enthusiastic, Am I?
This question is from a listener whose boss has told them they're too enthusiastic, need to relax & should be more like their male counterparts. Is this really a problem or is their boss threatened by their approach? Clementine advises.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 07 Sep 2023 - 87 - I Have 1 Child. Why Won't People Stop Asking Me When I'm Having Another?
In this episode, our listener has a 3 year old child & is very happy, but people keep asking her when she's going to have another. She wants to know why people are obsessed with this & how she can answer them.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 05 Sep 2023 - 86 - Am I Asking For Too Much In My Relationship?
The author of today's question is keen to know whether she's holding her boyfriend to too high a standard when it comes to emotional intelligence. He has a toxic relationship with his mother & she wonders whether she should make consideration for that...
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auCREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mon, 04 Sep 2023 - 85 - How Do I Commit To My Relationship Without Marriage?
Today's question comes from a listener who's keen to show her commitment to her relationship, but doesn't want to get married. She wants to know if Clem has any other suggestions for cementing the partnership.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 31 Aug 2023 - 84 - I'm Ready To Leave, How Do I Tell Him?
Our listener is ready to leave, but how does she tell her husband? She's keen to keep the conversation as calm as possible given they have two younger children & will be in each other's lives regardless of the status of their relationship.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 29 Aug 2023 - 83 - How Do I Stop Freezing When I'm Confronted?
We've all been there - you're in a tricky situation & you just freeze. Today, Clem is helping a questioner with the skills to help them deal with the situation in a way that doesn't leave them feeling powerless & like they've tacitly agreed to what's happened.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 27 Aug 2023 - 82 - I'm Angry With Women Who Still Want To Get Married. Help!
Today's listener is feeling frustrated at women who decide to get married after leaving a bad marriage herself. She'd like to know how she can ease this hidden anger & come from a place of compassion.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 24 Aug 2023 - 81 - Am I A Bad Feminist For Enjoying Misogynistic Shows?
Our questioner in this episode wants to know if she's betraying her inner feminist because she enjoys watching classic TV shows that are now problematic with their outdated content & characters.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 23 Aug 2023 - 80 - I Feel Guilty For Cutting My Dad Out Of My Life. Have I Done The Right Thing?
The question today comes from a man who's decided to cut his father out of his life, after finding out how his father has treated women, including his mother, so poorly in the past. He's feeling guilty & wants to know if he's made the right decision.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 20 Aug 2023 - 79 - How Can I Support My Sister, When She's So Loyal To Her Abusive Husband?
WARNING: This episode contains discussion of emotional abuse.
In this episode a listener wants to know how to best support her sister, without inadvertently pushing her closer towards her abusive husband.If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 17 Aug 2023 - 78 - I'm Keeping The Baby, But Not The Relationship. How Do I Tell People?
Our question today comes from a listener who's happy to be pregnant, but isn't in a relationship with the father. She's keen to talk through how the arrangement with the father might work & wants to know how (or if) to tell people that she's pregnant to a man she's not in a relationship with.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 15 Aug 2023 - 77 - I'm Single, My Friends Are Loved Up. Help!
Today's episode is from the single friend in a group of loved up couples. They're keen to know how they tell their friends that they're keen to bother with them solo, not just with their partners.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 13 Aug 2023 - 76 - How Do I Deal With Feeling Disappointed By My Baby's Gender?
Today our bestie needs a little help working through the mixed feelings of gratitude for being pregnant but guilt over the disappointment of the baby's gender.
If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 10 Aug 2023 - 75 - Is Staying Friends With My Ex Holding Me Back?
A relationship ending on good terms is a wonderful thing, but can staying friends with an ex be counter-productive?
Today Clementine answers:
Last year I entered my first serious (and queer) relationship at 30 years old. Prior to that I was figuring out my sexuality and experimenting with a lot of situationships. We remained friends post-breakup. Basically, we do all the same things we did before except platonically, but lately I am starting to feel like it is holding me back. I'd like to start dating again but it just feels pointless: why go have dinner with someone new when I could have dinner with someone I actually like to spend time with? I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for my old partner. My question is - is staying friends with my ex healthy or is it holding me back?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 09 Aug 2023 - 74 - Is Using The Word 'Guys' Problematic?
We all have those words that we're working on removing from our vocabulary. Today's question is from a listener keen to know whether 'guys' should be one of them.
Here is the full question that Clementine answers:
As an Australian who lives in Berlin, I have come face to face with my use of the word 'guys'. It's become an important topic among women in my city. I have consciously been trying to avoid using it and it is easy in text, but since it's been a part of my vocabulary all my life, sometimes it slips out while I'm speaking. My question for you is, where do you stand on the word and what is the future of its use in Australia?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 06 Aug 2023 - 73 - I've Never Had Positive Female Friendships. How Do I Find Them?
There's a cliche that female friendships are always competitive & toxic but that's just not true. Clem explains why to this listener.
Today Clementine answers:
- I have moved overseas and realised I'm wary when coming into new female friendships. After a long-term housemate and a woman I've had a decade-long friendship with regularly "pulled me down a peg", I can't shake feelings of inadequacy. I also grew up in a household where both parents did this as one of their multiple means of control. After years of therapy I am able to reconcile being raised by narcissists, but I'm finding it extremely hard to let go when it comes to these women. How can I portray to potential new female friendships that there's no need to engage in any form of competition? I'm desperate to reduce the risk of this happening again. Do you have any strategies when handling these situations?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 03 Aug 2023 - 72 - My Husband Is Having An Emotional Affair. Help!
Today, a question from a woman who has supported her husband in every single aspect of his life only to find out he's been having an emotional affair.
Here is the full question:
- I’ve been married for almost 10 years (married at 18) and have really been struggling for at least the last five - particularly with trying to get my husband to put in 50% effort when it comes to our household labour. We don’t even have kids but we did get married young. I have been having this fight for years and not gotten anywhere but now it’s at the point where there really isn’t any excuse because I’m earning considerably more than him and still doing 99% of the domestic effort. Well, it came to a head last night when I confronted him about messages I found of him with another woman complaining about how hard done by he is in our relationship etc, incredibly inappropriate intimate personal messages about his wife of almost ten years to a woman he barely knows. Anyway, I didn’t know what else to do other than message you. I’m terrified of what is next, of being alone for the first time since I was 13, of a failed marriage at a young age, and having to go through divorce. Of not knowing who I am. I think I just need some words of support and confirmation that I am doing the right thing, that I’m not overreacting. I don’t have a large support network, so I needed to tell someone who would understand.If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 02 Aug 2023 - 71 - How Can I Make True Friends In My Thirties?
If you've ever felt like making friends is impossible once you're no longer a teenager, you're going to want to listen to this one.
This time, Clementine answers:
When I was younger I had an extremely easy time connecting with all people. I had a really large friend group and loved chatting and getting into deeper conversations that would facilitate a deep connection and good friendships. As I’ve gotten older, I have noticed that most people have views that are problematic and I don’t want to make the effort. Or when I find a rare person that might be on the same page and who I want to establish a friendship with, I get extremely socially anxious. I only have 3 semi-solid friendships in my life. How do you establish meaningful connections in your late 30's and should I be giving people more grace knowing that, living in a capitalist patriarchy, we’re socially conditioned to have problematic views?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Sun, 30 Jul 2023 - 70 - Is The Relationship Over Or Is It My Anxiety?
This time, Clementine gives some advice on a relationship that's become tricky to navigate.
I've been in a relationship with another woman for nearly ten years. Lately I expressed my honest feelings about the relationship to her and said that I don't really feel the way I once did and that I'm not happy. I have even tried to end the relationship twice but this has not worked out. My partner has told me she doesn't think I want to end the relationship and that she feels that the reason for this is because we are finally looking to move in together. I know I'm no longer the person I was in university and although she has done nothing wrong, I just feel unhappy and trapped in my life, people are constantly telling us we are perfect for each other and it makes me wonder if the issue really is my anxiety. I don't know how to proceed further as I feel I'm stuck whichever way I turn. Do you have any advice for navigating the situation?
Here's the question:If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 27 Jul 2023 - 69 - My Partner Wants Kids, But I'll Have To Do All The Work
Today Clementine unpicks a familiar conundrum - a partner who already doesn't take on their share of the mental load, but wants to now add kids to the mix.
My boyfriend is a lovely person and we have a respectful and affectionate relationship. He does a decent amount of work around the house. My real problem though is I seem to be stuck in a sort of 'management' role in terms of deciding what we will eat, how we will organise our time, and what needs to be done around the home. My partner has problems with anxiety and suspected ADHD so planning and organisation come easier to me than him. But, this dynamic makes me frustrated and resentful towards him, as it feels inappropriate to have to organise another adult's life like this. I am particularly fearful of having a kid, which he is very keen on but I can foresee the burden of decision-making and planning falling much more on me than him. Do you have any advice?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 25 Jul 2023 - 68 - How Do I Handle My Father's Preference for My Son Over My Daughter?
In this episode, Clementine unpacks a question around how a misogynistic grandfather relates to his grandchildren.
My question relates to my 72 year old dad who is suffering from Alzheimer's disease and is now living in residential care. While there would be no point to hold him to account due to his cognitive decline, it's hard to reconcile within myself the blatant preference to male family members that he displays. On my weekly visit with my daughter and son, his excitement to see my son is palpable - while my daughter gets a lukewarm response. During our visit he will often repetitively ask about my brother who rarely visits and didn't provide him any support in the last (hard) 5 years. My daughter notices all this - how do I it to explain it all to her? Do I also have a responsibility to make sure my son knows that he isn't necessarily loved more by his grandfather, its just a product of the patriarchy?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mon, 24 Jul 2023 - 67 - Splitting Finances, Embracing Body Hair & Your Obligations To Your Parents
This week we revisit some of Clementine's most valuable pearls of wisdom.
This week Clem answers:
I have recently been instructed by my gynaecologist to stop shaving so I can recover from a medical condition. Lately though, as I "bare" witness to my full bush returning, feeling sexy with my new look has eluded me. My current, and wonderfully supportive partner says it makes no difference to them but I can't help but feel... messy? Unkempt perhaps? How can I learn to feel sexy with my body hair, empowered, and untamed in all of my natural glory? Growing up, my dad and I were incredibly close — but that changed when I was a teenager. He left my mother and married his much younger student at the university where he worked. My mother has always been mentally unstable — she’d been abusive and violent towards me, and we’ve never been close. My dad was frustrated that I was unable to just be happy for him and his new marriage, while I felt completely abandoned. For the past decade, we’ve barely talked. Recently, I became a parent. And my dad has sent an email saying he wants to reconnect. So Clementine, tell me, what do we owe our parents? He fed and clothed me, so in return, do I owe him a civil relationship and access to his grandchild? My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I make almost half of what he makes. However, he insists everything we purchase is split evenly. Is it problematic of me to want our purchases to be split based on our wages rather than down the middle and if not, how do I raise this with him without him dismissing it as unfair or inappropriate?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 19 Jul 2023 - 66 - Ditching Your Father's Name & Feeling Obligated To Have Sex
In the inbox this week: figuring out your sexuality post trauma, feeling obligated to give your husband sex & how to tell your dad that you no longer want his name.
Clementine answers:
5 years ago I was told my boyfriend had been trading my nudes like Pokémon cards at the pub with his friends. When I found out I was furious and left him immediately. Since then the thought of being physical sexually with a man makes me feel repulsed and some anger still flares up. I think I may have become asexual, but part of me feels like a fraud because I never used to be. How do I know what I am? I am unhappily married but choose to stay for my child. I really don't enjoy having sex with my husband and I haven't done so for the last five years since the birth of our child. I give him obligatory sex to keep the house peaceful. He is complaining that I am not engaged well enough in sex and its not frequent enough. Am I obligated to give my husband sex? After a year of productive therapy, a lifetime of evidence pointing toward my father being an actual, clinical narcissist and two years thinking about this decision, I have decided to drop the surname I share with him. But I'm at a loss for how to explain to him my reasoning as it will probably lead to me apologising for something I absolutely do not want to apologise for! How do I have the conversation?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 12 Jul 2023 - 65 - Jonah Hill & The Weaponisation Of Therapy Speak
You've probably seen the screen shots that surfer Sarah Brady posted on her Instagram, accusing her ex, the actor Jonah Hill, of misogyny and emotional abuse.
In this special episode, Clementine breaks the story down & asks whether 'therapy speak' has become a new weapon for manipulation & abuse.
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Tue, 11 Jul 2023 - 64 - Forgiving Past You & Profiting From A Toxic Relationship
In today's episode; we're talking re-evaluating how you spend your time, forgiving your former self & whether it's okay to accept financial help from a mother you don't like.
When I was in my 20s pre-kids I threw myself into sports, being on committees, studying, organising big social events etc. Now I’m in my mid-40s and have teenage kids I have more time to follow my interests, but I have found I don’t have the motivation that I used to jump into all these activities. I think part of it is being older and wiser, but I am mourning my past self a bit. I’m wondering if you can relate or have any advice? Recently I was going through unopened messages on Facebook. Some of the messages were conversations with people from as far back as 2013, when I was 17 years old and finishing high school. In one conversation, I was slut shaming one of my classmates to him because she had sent nudes to a boy. I have since gained much more progressive views. I want to be kind to my younger self but when I think about her I feel ashamed. What do I do? I have a toxic and complicated relationship with my mother but she has offered to pay my HECS debt and I don’t know whether to accept the offer. I do not like this woman and she has done some horrible things to me, but should I profit off it in this way?
Today Clementine answers:If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 05 Jul 2023 - 63 - And Just Like That...Correcting Carrie Bradshaw's Questionable Advice
Clementine just can't leave you with Carrie Bradshaw's awful advice that she gives out on her podcast in the new series of 'And Just Like That...'. Here's how Clem would have answered the question Carrie's listener asked with a little series commentary thrown in for good measure.
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 05 Jul 2023 - 62 - Realising You Resent Your Partner, Guilt Over A Lack Of Ambition & Fighting Sons
Today we’re talking feeling guilty over a lack of ambition, realising you resent your husband and sons who can’t get along. In this episode Clementine answers:
I have never been ambitious & have always wanted to be a stay-at-home mother, but I feel ashamed by my lack of ambition. I pushed my husband to become the high-income earner so that I could do this, but I now feel like I’m not a productive member of society. When I'm asked what I do, I feel ashamed to say I'm not working, so I say I'm studying. I would be grateful for any advice, even if it is to tell me to get over myself. I’m 47 and have been with my partner for 23 years. I’m childfree by choice. I’m going through menopause & I’ve discovered I have deep seated level of regrets and resentment towards my husband, as in retrospect I can see how much I have compromised my life choices since meeting my husband. I did love him, but I don’t think I do anymore. But how do I know this feeling is genuine, and not simply perimenopausal rage? I have two sons, aged 29 & 32. My older son has decided that his younger brother's girlfriend is no good for him and has got to go. I see his point, but feel it is no one's place to interfere. This has got so bad that we now cannot have family functions involving my older son and younger son's girlfriend. The older son has also attacked the younger son physically. Any insight from you would help.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 28 Jun 2023 - 61 - Your Neurodivergent Questions Answered with Chloe Hayden
Disability rights activist Chloe Hayden is joining Clementine for a special neurodivergent episode – she’s the star of Netflix’s Heartbreak High & now the host of Nova's new podcast, Boldly Me. In each episode, Chloé speaks to people who have taken risks, dared to be bold and have an awesome story.
Today, Chloe & Clem answer:
How can I be confident telling professional people in my life and business that I’m newly diagnosed with inattentive ADHD so that they’ll take me seriously? My son has recently been diagnosed with autism. I know you were diagnosed with OCD as a child. I am wondering if you could share any advice you may have learnt through your own experience growing up ,about parenting a neurodiverse child?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 21 Jun 2023 - 60 - Letting A Friendship Go, Finding The Courage To Leave & Keeping Your Parents' Secrets
Today – when to let go of a friendship, finding the courage to walk away and the burden of keeping your father’s cheating secret. In this episode, Clementine answers:
- I was good friends with a girl I lived in my old street with. We lived in the same street for about 3 years, had our babies at the same time and were very close. I considered her one of my good friends. I moved across the city about 30 mins away and so of course we saw each other less but still continued to catch up. Over the last 2 years I've tried to continue the friendship and have contacted her multiple times to which I basically get ignored. Should I let this friendship go or address it with her?
- I’m 29 and have been with my partner for nearly 12 years. Over that time we’ve had huge ups and downs. We’ve travelled the world together, now own a home and I’ve also had incredible independence in travelling alone, making friends and forging a great career for myself. We’ve also had lots of lows. My partner has bipolar and I’m his primary carer as it’s a secret from his family (his choice), he has physically cheated once and at least three times emotionally, including late last year. Lately I’ve been thinking about the kind of future I want, and the only word that comes to my is “peace.” Mistakes aside, my partner is a beautiful person, but I have made lots of sacrifices and I think I’d finally like to choose me. So how on earth do you find the courage to walk away, particularly when it involves hurting somebody else?
- Ten or so years ago I was on a gap year and stayed with my dad in Nepal while he was working there for a couple of months. One day I came back to the apartment and there was a female colleague of his there too. That night he told me it was a mistake and he was very sorry. He was sorry too that it was a burden I would have to carry to not tell his wife, my mum. I still struggle with what responsibility I have to my mum, knowing what happened. Today my parents are seemingly happier than ever. I’m really terrified of being the one to break this family, but I can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t fair for my mum. And does me being their son change this dynamic at all?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 14 Jun 2023 - 59 - An Overbearing Mother-In-Law, Child Support Manipulation & Pulling Up Your Siblings
Today – overbearing mother in laws, being manipulated by child support & whether it’s your place to pull up your siblings on how they treat your parents. Here are this week's questions:
-My siblings and I grew up with my biological father who was an abusive alcoholic. My older sister bore the brunt of this relationship as she often intervened in their fights & drove us to our grandparents house in the middle of the night when things escalated. I firmly believe my mum was a victim in this situation but my sister treats her with resentment and anger. I want to talk to my sister about the way she treats our mum, but I'm not sure if it's my place to say anything. Should I be having a frank conversation with my sister about the way she treats my mum?
- My mother-in-law is constantly nit-picking at me & everyone else in the family. How do I deal with it without reducing this to a misogynistic mother-in-law vs. daughter-in-law trope?
- My daughter’s father was recently informed by the ATO that he needs to increase his child support payments. He suggested to my daughter that he pay her the extra money directly instead, and help her to learn about money, budgeting and saving. The way he asked me was to tell my daughter, which I suspect is a manipulative tactic. Now, he keeps telling her she needs to contribute to things financially with him, like dinners out etc. I can’t help but feel that this whole thing was a manipulative way of just not paying me the money. Am I overly suspicious and uncharitable of my ex or have I assessed the situation correctly?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 07 Jun 2023 - 58 - Body Hair, Co-Parenting With A Narcissist & Becoming Confident At Work
This week's dose of no-nonsense advice includes how to learn to love body hair, parenting with a cheating man-child & growing your confidence at work.
I have recently been instructed by my gynaecologist to stop shaving so I can recover from a medical condition. Lately though, as I "bare" witness to my full bush returning, feeling sexy with my new look has eluded me. My current, and wonderfully supportive partner says it makes no difference to them but I can't help but feel... messy? Unkempt perhaps? How can I learn to feel sexy with my body hair, empowered, and untamed in all of my natural glory? I am 9 weeks separated from my husband of 10 years, partner for 18. We have 2 children. It turns out that he has casually cheated on me for at least 10 years and probably longer. He told me today, he is on the dating apps and get this, not looking for anything casual! The timeline has still left me reeling. How do I get through this and find a place where I can healthily coparent with this narcissistic, indulgent man-child? I need some help with my return-to-work post baby. After six months off, I’ve now returned to work part time and I’m not feeling like I have the knowledge or ability I had when I left. In a recent discussion around who would get jobs next year, my name came up and my stridently male supervisor said that I need to be more confident. This was after a conversation where I approached and asked for support to improve my knowledge and skills…. he told me “you just need to have more confidence, we’ve all been there”. Have you? Been the primary parent of a breastfed child trying to return to work halfway through training after a long career break?! FFS. How do I summon the rage and work on improving my practice despite him? I’m not a very angry person, and I just feel like crawling into a hole/leaving my medical job and doing something less stressful.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 31 May 2023 - 57 - Fading Attraction, Catching Feelings For A FWB & Dealing With Entitled Men
This week Clementine is tackling what to do when you no longer fancy your partner, developing romantic feelings for a friend with benefits & reflecting on a man-child of an ex.
When I met my husband when we were both 26, one of the things that attracted me to him was his svelte physique. Post child and as we age (we are now both 40) I find the time to exercise & am conscious of what I eat, but my husband makes minimal effort. When we do have sex, I find myself fantasizing about other men/women and closing my eyes to reach climax. What should I do? I have recently developed romantic thoughts and feelings toward someone I am in a friends with benefits relationship with. How do I process these mixed feelings? Do I box them up and ignore? Do I spill my fantasies and ask them to ride off into the sunset with me? Your big sister guidance is truly appreciated. I recently came out of a five-year relationship. I was doing a lot, if not all of the domestic labour, I work full time, he did not. I would say things like “please… I have to get up for work soon and you get to stay at home all day” - to which he would reply “it’s your choice to work”; or I might say something like “I do so much around here, I wash your clothes, I clean the house” and he would say “that’s your choice to do those things, I don’t ask you to clean my clothes”. Apart from leave the relationship, which I eventually did, how could I have handled this situation? Was there a way to explain why I CHOOSE to work, clean the house and do his laundry?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 24 May 2023 - 56 - Negotiating A Pay Rise, Changing Your Last Name & Ending Friendships
This week Clementine is talking; negotiating a pay rise, taking your partner's last name & ending friendships.
I am trying to negotiate a pay rise for a new job I have just been offered. I'm not asking that much, but for some reason I feel so guilty and greedy even when I recently found out a much young man, with less experience than me was on $25k more than me...please help! I’m getting married in a couple of months and I’m feeling very conflicted about taking my partner's last name. I’ve tried talking to multiple people about how I’m feeling, but every single person thinks that I should take his name. My fiancé understands where I am coming from, but says that having the same last name will be a new beginning for us to create our own family. In saying this, him changing his last name is not an option.
Changing my last name just makes me feel a little sad, like I am losing a part of myself. Am I overreacting? I recently ended a friendship with someone because of their persistent victim mentality stance. My issue is I feel some guilt about doing this and it has me thinking about some of my other close friendships. If we choose to stay friends with someone out of loyalty and essentially ignore all their toxic and self-destructive tendencies, are we becoming enablers of their behaviour? Is it wrong to continue to be their friend, or is it acceptable because people aren’t perfect but what essentially matters is how they treat you?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 17 May 2023 - 55 - The True Origins Of Mother's Day
In this special bonus episode, Clem takes Mother's Day back to it's historical roots to remind us of its true meaning.
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fri, 12 May 2023 - 54 - Whether You Owe Your Parents A Relationship, Warning An Ex's New Partner & Why Men Hate Fun Hair
Trigger warning: this episode includes reference to domestic violence.
My bestie is a hairdresser and loves to experiment with her hair! She is talking to a new guy and mentioned to him that she is dying her hair from blonde to pink, he responded with “oh golly, don’t you already have a bit of pink in your hair?” and reacted negatively! Why do you think men get so offended when women dye their hair fun colours? More than five years ago I was in a nearly three year relationship with one of the most charming people I've ever met, which became abusive. Eventually, after a hiking trip abroad which included a lot of pretty awful behaviour I managed to leave. I've just come to know that he is now dating someone else I vaguely know. I feel deeply conflicted about whether I should say anything. On one hand, I don't want to interfere or seemingly question another woman's judgement or autonomy; on the other, I want to do the ethical thing. What should I do? Growing up, my dad and I were incredibly close — but that changed when I was a teenager. He left my mother and married his much younger student at the university where he worked. My mother has always been mentally unstable — she’d been abusive and violent towards me, and we’ve never been close. My dad was frustrated that I was unable to just be happy for him and his new marriage, while I felt completely abandoned. For the past decade, we’ve barely talked. Recently, I became a parent. And my dad has sent an email saying he wants to reconnect. So Clementine, tell me, what do we owe our parents? He fed and clothed me, so in return, do I owe him a civil relationship and access to his grandchild?
This week: why men are so often annoyed by fun hairstyles, warning your abusive ex’s new partner & whether you have a duty to have a relationship with your parents.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
ADDITIONAL HELP
1800RESPECT is the national domestic, family and sexual violence counselling, information and support service. Call 1800 737 732 or reach out via the online chat.
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 10 May 2023 - 53 - Parenting With A Cheater, Gender Equality Targets & Men Helping Men
Today we're talking: parenting with an ex who cheated on you, whether gender equality targets are helpful & why men are so uncomfortable accepting help from other men.
I was married to my husband for nearly 13 years. The marriage ended because he cheated on me. Despite me loving my untethered life and being content with my decision, I can't seem to get past very deep anger when I see how much our sons look up to him. They have no idea as to the real reason we split. Will this feeling ever dissipate?
Do you think that setting targets for gender equality in the workplace (e.g. aiming for a 50/50 split) is useful in creating a more gender equitable workplace? And if not, what do you think is useful in creating a culture that celebrates equality?
I have a question about men being uncomfortable receiving care from other men. My partner and I recently took care of a mutual male friend after he had foot surgery. My partner took the day off work, picked him up from hospital and cared for him while I was working in the office. When I returned home, he refused every offer of help from my partner but every time I offered he accepted my help. Both my partner and I were bemused by this. Why are men so uncomfortable accepting help from other men?
If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
BOOKS
Picturing Men, John Ibson
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Thu, 04 May 2023 - 52 - Withdrawn Teens, A Best Friend's Awful Boyfriend & Knowing When To Speak Up
Today in Clementine's inbox: a father looking for advice on how to support his teen daughter, a friend trying to manage her bestie's awful boyfriend and learning when it's your responsibility to speak up and when it's best to stay quiet.
I am the father of a 13-year-old girl and I'm currently facing a challenging situation that I could really use your advice and insights on. Lately, my daughter has been expressing a strong reluctance to go to school. She used to be enthusiastic about school and enjoyed learning, but recently she has been resistant to attend classes. The one and only time she opened up to me, she assured me that she was not a victim of bullying, but she did say, "Why am I so different?" Can you please share any advice or suggestions you might have on how to approach this situation? My best friend and I are housemates. Unfortunately, her ex boyfriend is just the worst, and she keeps going back to him. She often asks me what I think of their situation and I have spent HOURS unpacking their relationship with her. I am very direct but it just feels like no matter what I say, she doesn’t care! How do I deal with this? Why do amazing women date lame, boring, smelly men?? How do you know when to speak up on issues you care about and when to stay silent? I've always struggled to accept people with opposing beliefs to my own but recently I've come to the realisation that all people hold firm beliefs that no amount of debate or contrary evidence can shift.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 26 Apr 2023 - 51 - Weekend Chat: Yvie Jones
In the first of our weekend chat series, host of Nova Podcast's Two Girls One Pod, Yvie Jones joins Clementine for a relaxed weekend debrief. They talk about Yvie refusing to weigh-in on I'm A Celeb, health at every size, why other women are our best allies & of course rescue pets. Grab a cuppa, settle in & enjoy!
You can hear more of Yvie on Two Girls One Pod.CREDITS
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fri, 21 Apr 2023 - 50 - Playing The Girl, The Fear Of Aging & Whether To Say You're A Mum On Dating Apps
Becoming friends with crumb-maidens, navigating dating apps as a mother & why aging is not such a scary thing after all!
This week, in the Dear Clementine inbox:
I have made some very lovely new girlfriends however, they are friends with a group of men who are absolute misogynists. Should I speak to my friends about this or just get rid of them all together? I'm a single mum to young kids in my mid 30's. I've just started to consider dating again. I've downloaded a few of the apps but haven't put that I'm a mother on them. I've noticed a few men get irritated that I've omitted this from my profile. Do I need to be adding the fact that I have children to my profile so people are aware from the very beginning? This year is my and many of my friends' fortieth birthdays. It's difficult to explain, but this imminent milestone seems to have given rise to a strange sense of foreboding in all of us. Clementine, I'd love your explanation on why this ageing is so scary, and why it seems so un-feminist to admit that?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 19 Apr 2023 - 49 - Travelling Solo, Dealing With Sexual Harassment At Work & How To Tell Men To Leave You Alone
This week - travelling solo in your forties when you feel like all you want is a partner to travel with, telling men to leave you alone & dealing with sexual harassment at work.
I’m 45 years old and the solo parent to 3 children. With the children close to independence I am turning my mind to my future and what I want. What I want to do is travel and I want to do it with a romantic partner. Without a decent man in sight and waking up disappointed each day that I’m not attracted to women the only other option is to go on my travels with a female friend. Unfortunately all my female friends are in seemingly happy relationships and wouldn’t be able to/want to spend months on the road with me. How can I plan a future of hedonism and adventure alone when I have been alone for the past 10+ years and yearn for the special companionship of a partner? How do you react when random older men try to talk to you in a public place? I often find myself in the situation of sitting somewhere in public, most recently reading at the library when an older man will initiate a conversation. I’d really like to stand up for myself and tell them to leave me alone but I guess I just freeze and become very small. I’d love your advice on how to stand up for myself or at least get out of these situations instead of freezing because I always feel like such a pushover for giving these men the time of day. I’m 25 now and I’d really like to have more courage in this situation. I work in a small marketing agency in London, it’s my first office job post university and I’ve quickly climbed to quite a senior position in the company. Last year I was unwell with an eating disorder relapse and dealing with being very overworked among this. One night, under the promise of a pay rise, my boss invited me to a bar to talk where he made moves of a sexual nature. Though I was initially flattered and went along with it, I’d never have initiated anything like this. It happened twice more and both times I tried to shut it down. The final time he gave me drugs and I was severely intoxicated. After the final time, I became too unwell to return to work and eventually decided to tell our CEO exactly what had happened. Protocols have been followed but my grievance has only been partially upheld. The director handed in his notice but the CEO has convinced him to stay and feels passionate about keeping both of us in the business. I don’t want to have to quit because that way he wins, but I also don’t want to work alongside him. Any thought or advice you can share would be greatly appreciated.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
Executive Producer: Edwina StottFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 12 Apr 2023 - 48 - Imposter Syndrome Post Baby, A Partner Comes Out As Trans & Becoming A Surrogate
This week – navigating a partner coming out as trans, imposter syndrome after maternity leave & becoming a surrogate for a friend.
My husband, who I’ve been with since I was 21 (I am now 40) has revealed to me very recently that they are trans. I love them so much, and all I want is for them to be happy and fulfilled and completely themself. That said, I am fighting a personal battle. Do I stay married to this person, and change my own identity from a straight woman to a lesbian with a trans wife? Do I end the marriage and support my ex-spouse as a friend instead of a lover? Since returning to work after having a baby, I’ve been struck with the most horrific imposter syndrome. I am now doing a full time job in part time hours, and I feel the amount of overtime I’m doing to try and keep up is unsustainable. How can I overcome this awful feeling of trying to keep up and feeling like I’m pretending to know what I’m doing? I am considering being a surrogate for one of my friends. She is a trans woman who already has a daughter. She would love another child and I said that I would be open to being a surrogate. I am 36, married with 1 child who is 15. I have no plans on having any more children. I loved being pregnant and it would be nice to experience it again. I would love to know your thoughts.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 05 Apr 2023 - 47 - Feeling Too Guilty To Leave, Re-Evaluating Life In Your 40s & Talking About Trauma With Kids
TW: Just a heads up that this episode mentions child sexual abuse – if that’s not for you today perhaps skip this episode & listen to one from our extensive back catalogue.
This week – navigating a partner coming out as trans, imposter syndrome after maternity leave & becoming a surrogate for a friend.
My husband told me he thinks he needs to talk to someone about his mental health and thinks he's headed for a mental breakdown. I'm really conflicted. I have been preparing to leave him due to emotional and financial abuse but now I feel obligated to stay and help him through this. I still want to leave and feel like I should be able to match the effort and support he has shown to me and our daughter but I feel guilty and worry about what people will think of me if I leave now. I am 47, perimenopausal and in a long-term relationship. I notice that many women at this stage of life are re-evaluating their choices. With children who have left or are leaving soon and the profound physical and psychological changes we go through, it seems like time for taking stock and looking forward to the next phase of life and what we want that to look like. This is especially true for women like myself who did not had the skills to set boundaries for themselves early in the relationship and have ended up with all the household responsibilities as well as working. My question is how do we as women begin respectful conversations with men regarding menopause and this re-evaluation, especially since re-evaluation of our relationships is often a major part of this? How do we make sure we have explored the possibility of improvement before we “leave our husbands” so that if we go, we can feel that we did the best we could do? I cut my dad out of my life when I was pregnant with my first daughter. After experiencing childhood sexual abuse at the hands of my father, years and years of therapy, a few attempts at severing ties, I finally did it. And I went through a period of grieving as though I'd lost a father through death. My question is, how do I navigate this with my children who are 3.5 and 6. Curious and wanting to know about their family connections, they ask "who's your dad?" How do I share my story in an age appropriate way, and also impart information about protecting themselves from the potential of abusive men who could be someone close to them? I feel that our society doesn't talk enough about the fact that predators are more likely to be relations or close family friends.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 29 Mar 2023 - 46 - Coming Out To A Partner, Teens Listening To Misogynistic Music & Is Loneliness A Male Concept?
This week – whether loneliness is a patriarchal concept, coming out as bi & teens listening to misogynistic music.
Do you think ‘loneliness’ is a mostly male/patriarchal concept? I have been a single woman my entire life & at 45 I have really notices that the word ‘lonely’ and the concept of ‘loneliness’ only ever seems to arise from men. I’m one of the few people who knows that my friend is bi and wears lingerie. His fiancé doesn’t know & he doesn’t know how to tell her as he feels like he’s hiding himself. With hindsight, he knows he should have told her at the start but it’s been so long now, her doesn’t know what to do & it doesn’t sound like she’s going to be accepting. Please help! I have a 16 year old son and a 13 year old daughter. My daughter recently flagged to me the music my son listens to on his earphones. I told him to clean up his playlist so that it is in line with his values as I am paying for his Spotify and it’s not in line with my values. I also suggested he add some female artists. Do you think I handled this well and how would you proceed with this? I’d love to hear your general thoughts on teenagers listening to problematic music.If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 22 Mar 2023 - 45 - Teaching Teen Boys About Patriarchy, Sexual Confidence & Holding Grudges
This week – navigating patriarchy in teen boy’s lives, whether to let go of a grudge & if a relationship can work when you’re both lacking sexual confidence.
My son is 17 & whilst I’ve always raised him to be aware of & reject patriarchy, he is now surrounded by men and boys making the most of their male privilege. My question is how do we counteract the influence of the patriarchy in our sons lives when they are surrounded by it and it often makes their lives easier? My sister is married with two small children. She found out that her husband had been having an affair for 6 months. Since her finding out, he has had at least two more rendezvous with this colleague. My sister has stuck with him, but I can’t even look him in the eye. I am conflicted on whether I continue to ‘hold a grudge’ or try to appease my sister's forgiving narrative. What would you do? I’ve recently started dating my best friend. He’s been there for me at my worst, when I was in the midst of drug and alcohol addiction and struggling with PTSD. Now that I am clean and sober I am finding sex difficult. He is not super confident with sex himself, but I am finding sex with him to be nice because I feel closer to him but really struggle to be in the moment. I’m worried that we don’t have the sexual chemistry that a relationship should have but I’m also questioning whether it is just me not being comfortable with being vulnerable and expressing my sexuality. Can two people who are uncomfortable with sex support each other to feel sexual liberation?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 15 Mar 2023 - 44 - Choosing Not To Breastfeed, Child Custody Anger & Knowing When It's Time To Leave
This week – feeling alienated because you chose not to breastfeed, knowing when it’s time to walk away & reconciling anger around child custody.
I didn’t breastfeed. It was my choice & it was a very informed decision, but I ended up feeling quite alienated & like the world was against me. How do I overcome feeling like I’m not part of some divine motherhood club because of my choice?
My partner has anxiety and is medicated. When he’s not in a good place, he takes care of himself by keeping busy, exercising, eating well and seeing friends. I do my best to be supportive and understanding, while also recognising that I’m not his therapist or mother. I feel that the inconsistency and the ups are downs of the relationship are draining and, there have been a handful of times when my partner hasn’t shown up for me when I really needed him to. Where do I draw the line in the sand for my own happiness while also being compassionate and empathetic? How do you know when to walk away?
A couple of months ago l finally left my alcoholic husband of 11 years and took my two children to start a new and better life. Unfortunately, we are unable to agree on custody for our children. Even though I work part time and when we were together I looked after the children 100 percent, my lawyer has warned me that when this matter goes to court next month, my husband will most likely be awarded what he wants, which is 50 percent custody. How can I reconcile the unfairness of this situation?If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 08 Mar 2023 - 43 - Yes, You Should Be Celebrating International Women's Day. Here's Why...
On this IWD, Clementine shares everything you need to know about the day's true origins & give you all the ammo you need to push back against those infuriating people who ask when International Men's Day is held...
CREDITS
Executive Producer & Audio Production:Edwina Stott
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 08 Mar 2023 - 42 - Whether To Tell Your Date You're a Mum, Triggers From The Past & Kindness
Is kindness rewarded in men but expected in women? Are you obliged to include that you’re a mother in your dating profile? And how to handle traumatic reminders of the past...
In the inbox this week:
A male friend and I both travel for work semi-regularly. In all my years of travelling, I have not once, ever, received an upgrade. He, on the other hand, cops upgrades at every turn, without asking for them. This friend said he likes to think that kindness begets kindness - and rewards - and I said that in my experience, women's kindness only begets thanks or apologies. Are men rewarded for being polite, while it's just expected of women? I'm a single mum to young kids in my mid 30's. I've just started to consider dating again. I've downloaded a few of the apps but haven't put that I'm a mother on them. I've noticed a few men get irritated that I've omitted this from my profile. Do I need to be adding the fact that I have children to my profile so people are aware from the very beginning? Recently a male from my past has contacted me - someone who acted as a predator when I was 16-17 and he was 20. He took complete advantage of me and was honestly just a shitty person to me. I am now 26, happy and successful. I just feel like I don’t know how to respond to this and maybe I’m overreacting in that I feel quite shaken up about it. Help!If you have a question for Clementine, get in touch: dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 01 Mar 2023 - 41 - Tampon Tiger & The Myth Of Men's Comedy
This week Tiger Woods handed his playing partner, Justin Thomas, a tampon after he'd outdriven him during the opening round of the Genesis Invitational. Here's why it's not funny.
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Fri, 24 Feb 2023 - 40 - Navigating Dating Apps, Misogynistic Fathers & One-Sided Friendships
Trigger warning: This episode contains discussion of sexual abuse.
One-sided friendships, navigating the new world of modern dating & pulling up your aging parents on their misogynistic views.This week in the inbox:
I’m at an age where a lot of my friends are in long term relationships and I’m starting to feel increasingly detached from them as they move forward with their new lives. I struggle with these apps and dating as I feel like a commodity to try out for most people. I would like to know your thoughts on navigating the dating landscape in hopes it is helpful to me and others. My father is now in his mid seventies and voicing his misogynistic thoughts and views more than ever before. Particularly around women being deserving of rape if they dress or behave a certain way. I was raped in my early 20s and other than my therapist, no-one in my family or friend circle knows about it. Is there a way that I can talk to him about this, or is he now of an age where he is set in this viewpoint? I have a best friend of over 10 years who never invites me out. Any time that we get together, it's because I've initiated and organised it. It's really starting to bother me and I'm afraid I'll start to resent her. Am I just being insecure? Should I ask her why she never tries to organise anything with me?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 22 Feb 2023 - 39 - Concerns For Dad's New Partner, Splitting The Bill & Living The Life You Dream Of
Concerns for your father’s new partner, whether your expenses should be split down the middle when one of you earns more money & how to carve out time for yourself.
This week in the inbox:
My parents recently separated & our dad recently told us that he is returning to the Philippines as he's met someone. My sisters and I are worried that our Dad just looking for someone to now do all the housework & work for him that mum did. He is a grown man, should we just let him make his own decisions? My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. I make almost half of what he makes. However, he insists everything we purchase is split evenly. Is it problematic of me to want our purchases to be split based on our wages rather than down the middle and if not, how do I raise this with him without him dismissing it as unfair or inappropriate? I’m writing to you as a mother of a 2-year-old daughter, a wife of 4 years (partner for 11), a farmer (a career I passionately love) and an increasingly angry, frustrated, resentful yet empowered woman. How do I carve out more time for myself, to regain my autonomy and independence, as a woman in the world today, without blowing up our lives?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle Beattie
For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 15 Feb 2023 - 38 - Work Guilt, Why Friends Aren't Therapists & Explaining Patriarchy To People Who Don't Want To Listen
Feeling guilty about work accommodating you as a mother, how to tell a friend you're not their therapist & the best way to push back against people who claim inequality in the workplace is a myth.
I wanted to ask your thoughts on flexible working for mothers and caregivers. I'm currently on maternity leave from a job that I enjoy, with a company I value and respect. After an honest conversation with my manager, they said they would be willing to look into a job share in order for me to return to the role and work the part-time hours I want. I initially dismissed this thinking that again, it wouldn't be fair to complicate things and I'd be better off leaving. But, if I'm removing myself from the workplace because I don't want to inconvenience others, am I not just another woman taking a hit to their career because they've chosen to have children?
This week, in the Dear Clementine inbox:
My friend has been going through some serious family issues which has really taken on a toll on her mental health. I am finding for the past year our catch's ups have largely been her venting about her life with very little consideration of what I am going through. How do I speak to her about this without hurting her or completely ruining the friendship? Or should I not bother speaking to her about it and let the friendship go?
I was really put out the other day when I heard my family talking about the fact that “all was ok on the equality space in workplaces”. I am a nurse who works part time to care for our 2 children. I can never take over the full-time work duties as my wage will never pay for our mortgage. There will always be a power imbalance in our home. I simply couldn’t put it any more succinctly and felt they didn’t get it! How can I explain how it really is to them?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
CREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 08 Feb 2023 - 37 - Co-Parenting With An Ex, A Fear Of Aging & Feeling Guilted Into Sex
What to do when your partner says its your duty to have sex with them, co-parenting with a narcissistic ex & why aging, for women in particular, can be such a scary thing.
I am 20 weeks pregnant & I have never felt less like myself. My partner doesn’t understand what I’m going through. He wants sex & insists this is something I SHOULD do for him. He says I’m throwing our relationship away because of it. I feel guilty & my mental health is suffering because of it. Any advice would be appreciated.
This week, in the Dear Clementine inbox:
I left my narcissistic & abusive ex-husband nearly 3 years ago. How do I remove him from my life but co-parent with him so that I can live in peace without the stress of dealing with him?
This year is my and many of my friends' fortieth birthdays. It's difficult to explain, but this imminent milestone seems to have given rise to a strange sense of foreboding in all of us. Clementine, I'd love your explanation on why this ageing is so scary, and why it seems so un-feminist to admit that?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
LINKS
1800 RESPECTCREDITS
Executive Producer: Edwina Stott
Audio Production: Adrian Walton
Managing Producer: Elle BeattieFor more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 01 Feb 2023 - 36 - Dating A Man Accused of SA, Choosing Your Baby's Surname & A Friend Following 'Men's Rights Activists'
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault.
Dating a man facing allegations of sexual assault by his ex-girlfriend, choosing your baby's surname when you don't agree with taking your partner's second name & whether it's your responsibility to talk to a friend who's been drawn into the world of men's rights activism.
This week, in the Dear Clementine inbox:
- I am in the early dating stage with a man who has told me his ex-girlfriend has lodged a police report against him for sexual assault and physical assault within their relationship, which he says is untrue. I am struggling as I know I can never really know the truth, and I don’t want to be someone who lets their romantic feelings for someone cloud their judgment. How can I navigate such a serious, heavy situation, while keeping myself safe?- My male friend of 6 years is slowly delving into the world of “men's rights activism” and what I call the “Jordan Peterson” rabbit hole. Over the last 6 months or so our conversations have increasingly turned in to frequent “debates” on quite misogynistic views. Is it my responsibility as his friend & as a woman to call this out? Or is better to distance myself and hope he sees the light?
- I have both my parents last names. How does the next generation manage this? Taking my boyfriend’s name is weird and not an option for me. Options and ideas on how people navigate these things as modern people would be appreciated.LINKS
- NSW women and men will be able to check partner's violence history online with disclosure scheme
- That's Helpful Podcast - How to spot a psychopathIf you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 25 Jan 2023 - 35 - Playing 'The Girl', Ambivalence Towards Motherhood & Lending Money To A Friend
Becoming friends with women who entertain misogyny, whether ambivalence around motherhood is a sign it's not for you & when a friend of 20 years asks you to borrow money - should you lend it to them?
This week, in the Dear Clementine inbox:
I have made some very lovely new girlfriends however, they are friends with a group of men who are absolute misogynists. Should I speak to my friends about this or just get rid of them all together? I’m in a serious relationship with a partner I love. However, we are at something of an impasse when it comes to deciding whether to have kids or not. I just don’t know, all I know is that I’m ambivalent. It seems that so many people around me simply can’t accept that a child-free life can be fulfilling. Is there any right way to work through this ambivalence? Do you have any advice? I have a best friend of about 20 years. Today for the first time in our friendship she asked me to lend her $350. One of my boundaries is that I don’t lend friends money. When I told my friend she got very upset with me. I feel like the simple act of me saying no has damaged the friendship. What can I do to feel better and hopefully turn this into a learning experience?If you have a question for Clementine, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
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Wed, 18 Jan 2023 - 34 - Best Of: Crazy Cat Lady Comments & Telling Partners About STIs
**TW: This episode contains discussion of sexual assault**
We're taking a look back at some of our most meaningful conversations.This week:
- I'm a single woman in my late 30s. Since getting divorced a few years ago, I feel content right down to my core. As time goes by however, I'm getting more and more 'crazy cat lady' comments. I feel that I am so much more than my relationship status and a woman who loves cats, but these comments still get under my skin. Do you have any advice on how to respond or manage my feelings?- I contracted herpes when I was 19 and in an emotionally abusive relationship where he intentionally gave me herpes as a way of manipulating/ branding me… it has affected my ability to see my value as a sexual partner, 7 years on and I’m still just not quite sure how to navigate that conversation and shame when I’m trying to meet new partners.
If you have a question you'd like answering, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 11 Jan 2023 - 33 - Best Of: Embracing Uncertainty & Baby Gender Disappointment
As we approach the end of the year, we're revisiting some of our most meaningful conversations.
In this episode:
- How do I get over my gender disappointment of finding out my second child will also be a boy?
- What's your advice for a mid-twenties female unsure about life? What would you tell 25-year-old Clem?If you have a question you'd like answering, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 04 Jan 2023 - 32 - Best Of: Second Chances & Overcoming Jealousy
This week, we continue to revisit some of our favourite conversations of the year.
Today's questions are:
- How do I draw the line between giving someone a chance & wasting my own time?
- My sister-in-law is hot. She’s also kind, intelligent, funny and interesting. I really like her as a person but I’m also jealous of how perfect she is. Every time I compare myself to her, I feel terrible about myself. Do you have any strategies for dealing with this type of jealousy?If you have a question you'd like answering, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 28 Dec 2022 - 31 - Best Of: Am I Ready To Have A Baby & Guilty Fantasies
As we revisit some of our most important conversations of the year. This week's questions are:
- I'm in my early 30s and really want to have a baby but worry about what it will mean for my life, career, relationships & financial security. Can you ever be fully ready and if so, how do you know?
- I’m think of myself as a feminist but often my mind is really not feminist at all...I often fantasise about being submissive and man pleasing, sometimes they being verbally abusive or using coercive control and me giving up my power. Where is the line between kink and repressed inner misogyny?If you have a question you'd like answering, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 21 Dec 2022 - 30 - Best Of: Single Mum Insecurities & Age Gap Love
Where has the year gone!? It's absolutely flown by as we've spent it having some of the most important & profound conversations about life, love & everything in between here on Dear Clementine.
Over the next few weeks, we're going to take a look back at some of the questions we've learnt the most from.
In this episode:
- How can I get over my crippling fear that no one will ‘want me’ (except for sex) now that I’m a single mum?
- How can I accept my 21 year old daughter's partner of choice when I know they met when she was 18 and he was 30?If you have a question you'd like answering, send an email to dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 14 Dec 2022 - 29 - Falling Out With Friends, Age Gap Guilt & Sex Positive Teens
This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:
I wanted to know if you had advice for handling the feelings and (internal) fallout when you have disagreements or tiffs with friends. I pride myself on being a good, caring, loyal friend but hey - sometimes I do insensitive or thoughtless things. My close friends and I talk about things when we mess up, we make an effort to understand each other, and I know we love each other - but I can’t help feeling like a failure, like I’m less-than or not as-good as them when I do or say something I'm not proud of. I am a 39 year old woman in a relationship with a man 5 years younger than me. He’s amazing (supportive, caring, empowering) and I’m really happy in the relationship. I can’t however shake this sense of feeling sorry for him because I am older than him, and that therefore I am holding him back or he is worse off somehow because he could instead be with someone younger and therefore more worthy or appealing. How do I shake these feelings of inadequacy and allow myself to embrace the relationship without this anxiety getting in the way? I have two teenage daughters, 15 and 17 years old. We were recently talking about sex and the subject of vibrators came up. My youngest asked if I owned one and if I would ever get her or her sister one. Usually I would not disclose this information about myself but instead chose too. She was not surprised and an open conversation followed. What I’m asking is do you think it is ok for me to purchase a toy to assist them with self-pleasure? Is there a right or wrong age to do this?If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Wed, 07 Dec 2022 - 28 - A Workplace Crush, An Unsolicited Dick Pic & Being The Other Woman
This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:
I have been with my partner for 2 years and we are very much in love and in a healthy, equal relationship. In saying this, I have recently started a new job and have developed a 'crush' on one of my colleagues. I think my crush is just a crush - but I feel bad about the way I am acting/some of the things I am thinking. Am I a bad person or do you think this is normal? How would you respond (if at all) on receiving an unsolicited dick pic from a 40-year-old male client, as a female sole proprietor in her early 30s? My friend is someone who has no interest in relationships, but enjoys sex and connection, so dates multiple men simultaneously in an honest and respectful manner. However, she recently discovered one of the men has a girlfriend. Do you think my friend has any obligation to inform this girl of her boyfriend's cheating?If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at dearclementine@novapodcasts.com.au
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Wed, 30 Nov 2022
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