The Mel Robbins Podcast

In today’s episode, we are trying something new, and absolutely anything goes. You’ve been flooding my inbox with questions, problems, sticky situations, and big, big dreams and goals. So today, because you asked, I am going to show up and deliver the hard truth, the surprising advice, the tricks to get you out of any pickle, and the inspiration that you need to take that next step. Nothing is off the table. So don’t f***ing blame me when I tell you how it is. I’ve got a pile of hundreds and thousands of YOUR questions, and I’m giving you the coaching you need. This might be my favorite episode I ever recorded. We are going to cover: When it’s time to walk away from a friendship (hint: when these 2 things disappear). How it’s about damn time you stop dating for potential. How to use the ‘Let Them Theory’ to protect your energy. ONE tool you need to make decisions without overthinking. What’s keeping you from getting a raise or promotion, and more importantly, what should you do to get it. How to get someone you love to go to therapy (and when it’s time to walk away). Why a mid-life crisis is actually your greatest opportunity. Oh, and we will cover my favorite swear word for the season (I can’t write it here, so you’ll have to listen). You will laugh with me in this episode, and you will also get advice you need to hear. But don’t blame me if it is TMI—you asked for it! Xo, Mel P.S. If any little ones are listening, put those headphones on! In this episode: 1:40: How do you know when to walk away from a friendship? 9:00: How do you make decisions without overthinking? 10:20: How do women negotiate a fair salary with a boss? 11:55: Mel, what were your dreams when you were a girl? 14:40: How do you get someone to go to therapy when they need it? 25:50: How can you be vulnerable with word vomiting everything? 26:30: Mel, what’s your favorite swear word? 28:20: You need to hear the advice I give about the BS of a ‘mid-life crisis’. 30:50: Betsy’s husband is missing out on life, and she needs help. Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at https://melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

In this episode, researcher, respected expert on intermittent fasting, and bestselling author of Fast Like A Girl, Dr. Mindy Pelz, is here to explain fasting—and, in particular, how it impacts women’s hormone health. Men and women’s hormones are different, and because of that, women MUST fast differently than men. Dr. Mindy is the first person who explained this to me, and this is why I wanted to have her on. I had no idea that fasting would screw up my estrogen and progesterone. Why? Because I first learned about fasting from a male. When I tried intermittent fasting, I wasn’t seeing the health benefits that everyone talks about. Now I know why. You’ve seen fasting advice trending on TikTok and in health articles; even your friends are talking about it (just like mine), and after this episode you will know exactly what fasting is, why you might want to do it, and what every woman needs to know to get started. I want you to get the right information from a respected female expert in this field. Everyone needs to hear this. This conversation is loaded with research and resources, and as always, extensive show notes are available on melrobbins.com. You can find them for this episode here. (www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-103) Today, Dr. Mindy Pelz reveals: The scientific protocols you need so you can fast the right way. How to fast with your 28- to 30-day cycle for hormonal, physical, and mental health (and what to do if you’ve lost your cycle, like me). The hormone science about how the female body operates (no one talks about this). How to manage PMS and why intermittent fasting may help. The research that explains why fasting tanks your progesterone How this relates to you if you are in menopause and have an irregular cycle. What the 30-day reset is, and its powerful ability to transform your health. How to incorporate fasting into your life (and never miss a good meal with your family and friends). Why coffee doesn’t break a fast, but a frappuccino does. 3 hacks to get started with a fast that will make your fasts more successful. The 6 fasting windows and their unique and extraordinary health benefits. We are going to focus on the step-by-step guide for women, what to do, and why this matters, but we do cover fasting protocols and how-to advice that both genders need to know. I learned so much from Dr. Mindy, and as with all episodes, this is a free resource where you get to learn straight from somebody who has literally written the book on this topic. I would definitely send this to absolutely anyone that needs to hear it. Xo, Mel IMPORTANT: This podcast discusses fasting, and its advice may not be suitable for anyone with an eating disorder. If you have an existing health condition, are pregnant or nursing, or are taking medication, always consult your healthcare practitioner before going for prolonged periods without eating. In this episode: 1:30: What exactly IS fasting and what is the purpose? (Hint: It’s NOT a diet trend.) 5:45: What does fasting look like for a PhD who studies fasting? 7:15: What’s okay to include during your fasting window? 8:15: 3 simple hacks to help you get started with fasting. 13:00: Who is fasting NOT for? 16:10 Here’s how you may feel when you first try fasting. 17:50: Women need to fast differently than men.  18:45: How your hormones are impacted by intermittent fasting. 25:00: Why most women were not successful when fasting was first introduced. 30:15: How do you figure out your menstrual cycle if you use an IUD? 34:20: Menopausal women can use the moon for what? 38:50: 4 steps to determine which of the 6 types of fasting works best for you. 42:00: How to make intermittent fasting more flexible. 45:00: Limit these 3 foods when you’re fasting. 47:50: 4 ways to break a fast. Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

In this episode, renowned holistic health expert and intermittent fasting devotee Dr. Mindy Pelz is here to explain the 101 of fasting for better health. You’ll learn the empowering science behind why it works and how it can help you achieve so many health goals. Dr. Mindy is fascinated by our body’s ability to "heal itself" and how fasting protocols can activate some remarkable results based on extensive research studies. If you’re tired of diets that leave you feeling like sh*t, health improvements that cost money, or just hate feeling out of control of your body, this is the one zero-cost tool that could have a significant impact on your health. Dr. Mindy is on a mission to help people understand and harness their healing abilities through fasting. And today, she’s told all the Olympic athletes, Academy Award-winning actors, and Silicon Valley CEOs that she works with to step aside because she’s got an appointment with someone more important: you. This episode is a guide to 6 recommended and researched fasting protocols. You’ll learn about each one and how they unleash your body’s natural ability to heal itself, reset the gut, and even get rid of damaged cells in the body. Dr. Mindy breaks it all down with significant research, stories, and shocking statistics. She’ll teach you: What fasting even is and why it’s different from a "diet". The 6 different fasting protocols and their researched-backed benefits. The 3 easiest ways to start fasting at any point. What the two energy systems in your body are and how fasting helps you tap into both. What is biologically happening when you follow a fasting protocol? What Keto really stands for and why the term "Keto-friendly" can’t be trusted. The 9 cellular healing benefits of fasting and how it can help cure disease. The fasting protocol that will help you lose belly fat (for good). I can’t wait for you to learn from Dr. Mindy about this free tool that may just be what you’ve been looking for. Get ready to feel empowered. Xo, Mel IMPORTANT: This podcast discusses fasting, and its advice may not be suitable for anyone with an eating disorder. If you have an existing health condition, are pregnant or nursing, or are taking medication, always consult your healthcare practitioner before going for prolonged periods without eating. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:40: According to the research, what does fasting do? 5:30: Here’s why fasting is such a passion for Dr. Mindy Pelz. 7:20: So how does fasting work exactly? 10:00: Our bodies have two energy systems, but we only use one. 12:15: What is autophagy and why should I care? 14:00: When your body isn’t making ketones, you’re missing a key component of health. 17:30: The surprising places most of the fasting research comes from. 20:40: Science recommends intermittent fasting as a first line of treatment. 21:45: This is why fasting is NOT a dieting trend. 25:00: Here’s how fasting melts calories, no matter what you eat. 28:20: Got cravings? This is where they come from and how you can control them. 31:00: Ignore “keto-friendly” marketing; eat this food instead. 33:00: Fasting is not for pregnant and nursing women, or people with eating disorders. 35:10: What about my coffee? 37:15: Describing the 6 different types of fasting.  39:50: I want to make this idea of fasting easy for you. 45:40: When your body makes a ketone, it also makes the calming GABA hormone. 48:00: Let’s unpack autophagy and who exactly that is for. 54:40: How do intestinal stem cells make a difference to your health? 55:35: Is it even safe to fast for 36 hours, and why on earth do I want to do that? 58:30: Feeling anxious? Give this type of intermittent fasting a try. 60:30: Research found that fasting chemo patients had healthier white blood cells. Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

Lately, I’ve been getting a ton of questions from listeners about how to best support high schoolers and 20-somethings. There are lots of questions about anxiety, peer pressure, and getting young adults to open up. So, in this episode, I have a pile of your questions in front of me as my son, Oakley, and I go through them rapid-fire style, so you get both of our perspectives on the topics everyone worries about but is too afraid to talk about. I have to say, Oakley really showed up for this conversation for you. He has hilarious and heartfelt thoughts on topics he has first-hand experience with. We cover it all. From academic pressure to body image to bullying, this conversation is full of tools and strategies and is raw, unfiltered, and filled with relatable stories (and only a few f-bombs). You will learn: What teens and 20-somethings really need (and don’t need) from their parents. (If you only get one thing from this episode, make it this…) How to encourage the young men in your life to open up. The ONLY thing you need to do when your young adults come home in a bad mood. How to get unhooked from toxic popularity and cliques and find your people in school or in life. 3 smart strategies to use when your child is getting bullied that will strengthen your bond with your kid. An 18-year-old's surprising take on when to give your kid a cellphone. The must-use hacks for introverts who want to be more confident in school. How to get your kid to do chores (and still like you). Strategies for handling your kid’s anxiety without yelling or freaking out. The best way to navigate curfews and late-night parties with your teen. I can’t wait for you to hear this. I loved the questions and the advice. And as a mom, I couldn’t be more proud of Oak for how much wisdom he shared. I’d love for you to listen with your teens and 20-somethings. In fact, at the end of the episode, Oakley gives specific advice (including exactly what to say) to get your kids to listen. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:20: Why is it so hard to get my teen to open up to me? 4:00: Your kids need quiet time at these two times of the day. 7:22: Here’s what to say to start a conversation with your child. 9:30: How should your kids handle clique groups? 11:00: How can you tell who "your" people are? 12:15: Three strategies to help your kid deal with hurtful behaviors. 17:30: What teens need (and don’t need) from their parents. 21:45: At what age do you think your teen should have a phone? 23:30: My high school senior has no idea what she wants to major in. 26:00: Two best hacks for introverted teens everywhere. 28:45: How can you help your kids find their friends? 34:00: My teen is a senior in high school, but he still has chores at home. 36:30: Oakley gives you a peek into his own anxiety to help your anxious teen. 41:20: How do you reassure your kid when he’s dyslexic? 42:45: The gold-standard tutoring program we used to help Oakley with his dyslexia. 44:20: Two simple hacks that have made a big difference for Oakley in school. 45:30: The two qualities I think of first when it comes to curfews. 47:00: Here was my #1 desire for my Vermont home when it came to my kids. 49:40: I literally sat Oakley’s friends down and laid down two rules for hanging out. 52:40: So how do you get your teen to listen to this interview? Want more resources? Go to my podcast resource page at melrobbins.com/podcast. Disclaimer

In today’s episode, I welcome back KC Davis, therapist, and bestselling author. The episode before this featured her relatable, hilarious, and breakthrough ideas about everything from laundry to loading a dishwasher and giving yourself the freaking break that you deserve. That episode was so insanely popular, we moved this up in the queue. The verdict is in. You love KC Davis. So today she's answering your deeply personal and surprising questions. In just 50 minutes, KC’s genius hacks and smart approach to everyday tasks will not only help you manage your to-do list, but give you back the time to rest without feeling guilty. She also reveals the single most helpful item you can bring to someone when they are going through a very difficult time. You ask the questions and she's giving you the step-by-step plan. She covers so much it’s hard to summarize, but here is my best attempt: The shocking truth about “getting everything done” Why you need to stop saying you’re fine - you’re BETTER than fine How to divide chores at home (yes, there is a right way!) Her “Fair Rest” rule for couples 7 genius tips to build momentum (stop waiting for motivation) The ONE thing to do for a family or friend who is struggling with grief or depression (don’t cook them a meal) Her unique take on self-compassion that will leave you in action How to maximize your free time so you can finally start that project (you know, that one you keep thinking about) or collapse on the couch and do nothing Steal her scripts and her hacks. You asked for more time with KC Davis, and we delivered. Thanks for sharing this with all your friends and family that need it. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: What does the research say about motivation? 4:00: Let’s unpack what happens when you have ZERO motivation. 8:20: Shame causes paralysis, so cultivate this emotion instead. 10:30: Here’s how to look at your home when you have chronic illness. 13:20: Let’s role play what to do when you feel overwhelmed. 14:50: Here’s what KC wants every parent of an autistic child to hear. 19:00: Hate how you look and feel? This best-friend advice is for you. 21:00: Can we please take a look at your closet and do this? 25:50: Wait, self-esteem is overrated? Here’s what to focus on instead. 27:45: Our hustle culture makes us feel guilty about doing this one essential thing. 31:15:The one question to ask yourself that will give you the break you deserve. 35:00: Feeling guilty about using paper plates? You need to hear this. 37:00: Reframing how you divide labor in your home will change everything. 44:20: What’s your response when your partner doesn’t meet your expectations? 47:15: The greatest gift I ever received during my postpartum depression. 48:40: How can you help someone really struggling? Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com. Disclaimer

In today’s episode, best-selling author and therapist KC Davis answers the question, "How can you be successful in many areas of your life but fall short on getting the laundry, dishes, or grocery shopping done?" Which begs the question: why are all the "little tasks" so hard?! Because when it’s time to get them done, they don’t "feel" so little. KC’s advice, breakthrough ideas, and research will make you realize you’re not the only one who feels like you’re drowning. And her compassionate, hilarious approach and simple tools will help you take better care of your home and yourself immediately. If you’ve ever said: Why can’t I get it all done? Why does everyone else do this without a struggle, and I am FAILING? I should really have my act together…. All the answers you need are in this episode. And if you (or someone you love) is having a moment where even taking a shower or brushing your teeth feels like climbing Mount Everest, KC Davis is an angel sent from the heavens to lift you up. This is one of my favorite conversations of all time. It’s so wide-ranging in topics and deeply relatable, laugh-out-loud funny, poignant, and actionable. Talking to KC is like having an old friend show up at your house with a mug of tea, a mop, and a casserole you can stick in the fridge. There are so many life-changing realizations that will restore your sanity—and the functionality of your home—that this is only Part One of your time with KC and me. Today’s episode will change your entire life. You will learn: A shocking approach to laundry and anything else in life that changes everything. (This one is so goooood!) 3 rules for self-care made simple A 5-step tidying method that will improve your life A genius trick for when the dishes or laundry are piled sky-high KC’s "momentum-building trick" that will make your brain work for you Making relaxation your right, not your reward Leveraging self-compassion as a motivational tool KC’s favorite phrase to say when she feels overwhelmed My mission today is to prove to you that if you don’t have your sh*t together, you aren’t broken. You’re just like the rest of us – you’re human.  Get ready to laugh and learn as I confess the details of what a disaster I am at home, as we go step-by-step with instructions and affirmations for an empowering and gentle journey to a functioning space. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: Why is it sometimes so hard to do even the small things? 5:30: This is why you feel so much guilt when you’re not getting it all done. 9:15: Your disappointment in yourself goes so much deeper than chores. 10:30: Here’s what your piles of laundry say about you. OR don’t. 21:30: I confess; this is the only time I’m motivated to do laundry. 23:00: Who knew what a WIN it was every time you make it to the shower? 35:00: Here’s how brushing your teeth can creep up on you in insidious ways. 37:30: Research shows that drowning in shame arrests our psychological functioning. 41:45: Alternatives to showers when you just don’t have it in you. 45:00: How can you make your space calm? 48:00: This reframe of your household chores will change your life. 51:00: Ditch the guilt and shame when you realize you didn’t sign up for this. 52:30: Here’s why emptying the dishwasher is way worse than loading it. 54:00: KC found a system for her laundry and that changed everything. 57:00: Here’s a new way to look at tasks when every task feels monumental. Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com. Disclaimer

You need to hear today’s episode. I have something profound to share with you. It is a deeply personal message, straight from my heart to yours. This is not a pep talk. It’s not a motivational speech. This is a goddamn wake-up call. Your life is like a melting ice cube. Your excuses are endless, but time isn’t. Stop waiting for the perfect time. Stop waiting to feel ready. While you’ve been full of excuses, waiting for someday to come, time has been passing you by. So, if you’re sick of standing still or talking yourself out of the changes you want to make and the goals you dream of achieving, this one's for you. My mission is to make today the someday you’ve been waiting for. This is the coaching you need. And you need to hear it right now. Xo, Mel In this episode: 3:30: Can you relate to Cathy’s self-doubt? 6:15: If you hear anything today, let it be this. 10:55: This is how you actually reach your goals. 12:35: Worried about what others will think of you? Listen to this. 13:25: Steps 1 and 2 when you have a dream you want to make REAL. 15:00: Stop wasting your time and energy on this. 18:20: Frozen because you don’t have experience? 23:00: Is your schedule already full? Switch your mindset this way. 28:40: I told myself the very same excuses you do! 32:30: Filling your time with things that have nothing to do with your goals? 34:00: How do you start focusing on yourself once and for all? Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com. Disclaimer

In today’s episode, you and I are discussing the fascinating science of secrets: why you keep them and how keeping secrets directly impacts your relationships, your self-esteem, your health, and holds you back from living the life you deserve. Dr. Michael Slepian is a bestselling author, psychologist, associate professor of leadership and ethics at Columbia Business School, and former scholar at Stanford. He has been researching secrets for over a decade and will help you understand what secrets are, why we keep them, and the harm of holding them inside. Dr. Slepian's research is shocking: studies prove you are keeping 13 secrets right now. 5 of which you’ve never told a single person. Not your mom. Not your best friend. No one. Even more shocking is the impact they have on your life. My mission today is to help you free yourself of the burden of secrets. Listen and you’ll understand how the secrets we have shape our physical and psychological well-being, who we are, how we connect with others, and how we cope with our challenges. You will also learn: The most common secret that 61% of you are keeping right now. Why you always feel shame, isolation, and uncertainty when you keep a secret. The fundamental difference between secrecy and privacy, and why privacy is better for your health and relationships. Why the shame of secrecy kills your self-esteem. How to use guilt to get rid of shame (yup). How babies learn to keep secrets from their parents and caregivers. The one person you should REALLY tell your secret to. Keeping a secret is the easy part; the hard part is having to live with it. Let’s change that today. Xo, Mel In this episode: 2:00: The jaw-dropping secret that inspired this conversation today. 9:45: Curious about the kinds of secrets people keep? Here are the top 10. 11:50: How exactly do we define a secret? 14:45: Are there any good secrets? 15:45: Don’t feel too bad; we’re not the only animals that keep secrets. 18:00: Keeping the secret isn’t the hard part; the hardest part is this. 21:00: Listen to the secrets my listeners revealed. Recognize yourself? 24:45: Some secrets are no big deal but we make them big in our heads. 28:00: So what’s the difference between privacy and a secret? 31:00: Here’s how to frame a mistake, instead of feeling shame. 33:30: Research finds keeping serious secrets as kids can impact us as adults. 35:30: Here’s what parents should say when their kids admit a secret to them. 38:00: What do you say when friends keep you out of the group? 39:40: How do you tell your partner that you’re having an emotional affair? 42:30: The family secrets parents should never reveal to their children. 47:15: What about traumatic family secrets? 50:00: Choose the person who is your “coping compass” wisely. 54:30: Questions you can ask anyone to develop a closer relationship. 59:50: Here’s my hardest memory and what I realize about it now. Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com. Disclaimer

In this episode, you will meet Judie, a total badass who has it all figured out, from killer biceps to fulfilling friendships to staying mentally sharp, spunky, and sexy. She’s got it all together. Who is Judie? She’s my 85-year-old mother-in-law. You don’t need a library full of books filled with the science of staying young forever. Today you are getting the cliff notes for living a long, happy, healthy, fulfilling, and purposeful life. She will teach you: The reason moments of joy are fleeting for you and how to make them last longer. The most important relationship you need to foster in your life. The surprising thing you can do this week to create purpose in your life. Why you need friends that are younger AND older than you. How to create a killer morning routine that fuels your busy life. The 3 ways to keep your mind young at any age. The reason YOU need to be the first one to pick up the phone. Today Judie is sharing her 7 secrets to longevity and coaching you on how to get the life you deserve. She spills her no-BS secrets on how to take care of your mind, body, and relationships. Backed by research and 80 years of experience, her love of life and ability to embrace moments of joy and give back are what make her such an inspiration. I am so excited to introduce this wonderful person to you. I want you to take a page out of her playbook. You’re never too young or too old to start living life the way you want. And it is NEVER too late to be the badass you were meant to be. Xo, Mel In this episode: 4:02: How to create a killer morning routine that fuels your busy life. 8:18: One mantra that you need for purposeful intention. 10:14: When Judie first started working out (it’s not too late). 11:30: Judie’s #1 for feeling less depressed and isolated as you age. 12:13: Why you need friends that are younger AND older than you. 14:41: The surprising thing you can do this week to create purpose in your life. 17:44: The reason YOU need to be the first one to pick up the phone. 19:50: The 3 ways to keep your mind young at any age. 22:10: How to maintain the motivation to move every day. 32:03: The most important relationship you need to foster in your life. 36:47: How you can really “stay young at heart”. 40:24: How to get the life you deserve and live the way you want. Disclaimer

In today’s episode, the incredible Patrick McKeown, international bestselling author of ten books on breathing and founder and CEO of The Oxygen Advantage, a world-leading breathwork training program, breaks down all things breathing. This is not a lecture; it is a masterclass. His decades of research will blow you away, so let’s slow down and learn from the best in class. You need this, and I need this. Why? Because you and I have been breathing all wrong. Today Patrick is revealing the 5 ways breathing through your mouth hurts your health and leaves you feeling more anxious and stressed. You and I are getting coached by the world's leading expert on functional breathing for better health, more focus, less pain, better sleep, and, honestly, a better you. This is information that should be shouted from the rooftops. AND taught to parents, teachers, and health professionals everywhere. These steps are so simple, and yet they’re incredibly impactful on ALL parts of your life: your work, your ability to play and have fun, and your relationships. Best of all, this advice is ZERO-cost to you. You will learn: What happens when you breathe through your nose. How breathing through your mouth stresses you out. How breathing through your nose improves your memory and focus. What your breath has to do with back pain. How nose-breathing boosts your immune system. What sleep apnea in children has to do with special education needs. 3 simple yet powerful exercises that will leave you breathing easier. Why the hell should you want to tape your mouth shut. The study that found shallow breathing can lead to anxiety. An exercise that will help you get more oxygen into your lungs. Why your exhalation is the most important part of relaxation. How breathing the right way can stop snoring. Why the way you breathe during the day impacts your sleep at night. The science proves that the quality of your breath determines the quality of your life. So let’s dive in. Xo, Mel In this episode: 3:15: Why do we breathe, anyway? Seriously. 4:50: HOW are we supposed to breathe? 5:30: Ok, so what are we doing wrong when we breathe? 6:45: So what’s so important about breathing in through your nose? 7:55: Here’s what happens when your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen. 8:30: The antiviral gas only produced when you breathe from your nose. 10:00: How mouth breathing increased a child’s need for special education. 12:45: This statistic about breathing and anxiety is still blowing my mind. 16:00: 3 breathing exercises you’re not going to want to miss! 24:00: The incredible results I had after trying these breathing exercises. 25:20: Listen to what happens when I tape my mouth shut.  28:00: Breathing out through your mouth tells your brain this. 30:00: The study that found your breath is linked to anxiety. 31:15: How many times should you breathe in one minute? 32:00: Patrick coaches me into a proper BIG breath. 39:00: Why your exhalation is most important when it comes to reducing stress. 43:00: Why you should keep your mouth closed when you exercise. 45:00: What mouth breathing has to do with snoring. 51:00: Can better breathing help with sleep apnea? Disclaimer

In today’s episode, you are getting a relatable and hilarious guide to navigating major transitions like a pro. Join me in a real and raw conversation with my friends and colleagues, Amy and Lynne, as we unpack the major mistakes and 6 lessons learned from "horrible" college drop-off experiences (both our own and the ones we had with our kids) and the fear that comes with any major transition in your life. Whether you’ve got kids or not, these 6 lessons apply to you. Everyone is going through some kind of transition right now: back to school, back to work, and dropping out of college. It’s a time of saying goodbye, of saying hello to new chapters, and of helping people move into new dorms and apartments and transition to new jobs or a new grade. That means it is the perfect time to learn the 6 lessons I learned (the hard way) about managing big life transitions without losing your sh*t. Listen and Learn: The RIGHT way to empower someone who is drowning in self-doubt. The #1 thing to say to help anyone move forward with confidence. The 4 words that will help you or your child commit to change. A science-backed "bridging" tool to help any child feeling nervous. The 2 most important qualities you have to let your child borrow from you. Why feeling scared and anxious before a big change is mentally healthy. Xo, Mel In this episode: 2:30: Hear one mom’s mistake after dropping her child off at college. 4:30: And what this mom did differently for her second child. 7:30 The drop-off experience that I wish I’d done differently. 10:30: Say THIS to your kids to help them ride the wave of emotions. 11:30: What you think you will feel is different from reality and that’s ok. 14:30: The #1 tool you have to let your child borrow from you.. 18:10: Use this preschool trick from psychologists when you leave your kids. 29:00: Remember this the next time you start to overthink. 29:20: Recapping 4 major takeaways. 31:00: A fighter pilot shares how to gain control of your emotions. 33:00: I’ve used this trick often to help others adjust to change in their lives. 35:00: Feeling sad or uncertain about change? Good; you’re normal. Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are dismantling one of the most crippling forms of self-doubt. "Imposter Syndrome" is when you think you’re not good enough and that everyone else is smarter, more successful, and has more to contribute than you do. Everyone feels it. It’s so common that the Harvard Business Review found that even 70% of the world’s top executives have struggled with it. My mission today is to convince you that Imposter Syndrome is actually a GOOD thing. And I’ll use an example from my own life to prove my case. Come backstage with me to a huge music festival, where my daughter Kendall, an aspiring singer-songwriter, comes face-to-face with the famous musicians who inspired her career. Cue the panic. Self-doubt almost made her bail on what turned out to be a life-changing weekend in her career. She turned it around (you’ll hear how) and, as a result, was invited impromptu to perform twice with Grammy-winning musicians! Listen and learn how to be more courageous and confident in those moments that really matter. I can’t wait for you to hear: The 4 words Kendall repeated that crushed self-doubt and got her on stage. The powerful mantra to say when you’re nervous walking into a room. How to use humor (and tuna sandwiches) to connect with anyone. Why being a "nobody" is the most amazing "somebody" you could be. It’s time to hit delete on your self-doubt forever. This one is so good and so relatable that you’ll be yelling, Encore! Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:15: Harvard Business Review says imposter syndrome is #1 fear of executives. 3:40: Kendall puts us at the scene of her own paralyzing episode of self-doubt. 5:30: Imagine being surrounded by everyone you’ve admired your entire life. 11:30: This is the message you need to hear if you’re deep in self-doubt. 12:45: My own story of feeling like an imposter before I became a speaker. 19:30: Here’s how to start shifting your mindset and boost your confidence. 20:20: The piece of advice that will help you stand taller. 21:40: The three-letter word you need to repeat when your insecurity creeps in 22:30: Once you change your mindset, your actions fall into place. 24:00: You have a gift to offer even the most experienced people in your field. 25:00: The seven words Kendall dropped that I’m still thinking about. 27:15: The #1 takeaway from this conversation about self-doubt. 28:45: Own where you are, and here’s what we mean by that. 31:00: What you’re thinking will happen probably won’t. 33:00: Learn how to balance giving and receiving, and you'll crack the code. 35:15: Are you waiting for validation? Listen to this. 38:00: There’s a reason you’re here. Here’s how to start believing that 41:00: Here’s why imposter syndrome is a GOOD thing. Disclaimer

A few days ago, I was the witness to a very tragic accident, and the experience affected me very deeply. I reached out to a renowned trauma specialist, and the advice she gave me changed my life. In this episode, you will hear that incredible advice because she allowed me to record it. Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald, PhD, a best-selling author and professor, reveals the 5 essential things you need to know about trauma so you can finally move forward with your life. Listen, and I will help you pick up the remote control for your brain and turn OFF the trauma loop. What’s the trauma loop? You may be in it and not know it: if you get triggered and have no idea why (and this expert says we almost never know why), have flashbacks playing in your head over and over again, the trauma loop is at play. With the help of our expert, Dr. MaryCatherine, you and I unpack (in real time) the accident I witnessed and how it affected me. With compassion and clarity, she explains what trauma really is and how to heal from it. You will learn and benefit from her decades of research and clinical experience. And she’ll help you understand what steps you need to take so that your brain does not store an experience as "trauma". Dr. McDonald is one of the few experts who explains trauma and how to heal it in a way that is easy to understand, and her 5 truths will change the way you relate to yourself forever. The strategies and science in this episode will help you: Know what to do 4–24 hours after the traumatic event occurs. Understand the ‘trauma loop’ so you can identify when you are stuck and how to get out. Properly process traumatic events, even if they were deep in the past. Spot myths about trauma that even psychologists don’t understand. Know what narrative psychology is and why it’s proven to work. Uncover and heal from your flashbacks, looped thoughts, and triggers. Learn why you and your siblings have different memories of the same events. How to calm your nervous system and be present with your emotions. This episode could change your life. And it is absolutely one you want to share with anyone who could benefit from Dr. MaryCatherine’s expertise. And I want to be upfront with you: yes, today’s episode is powerful, and it’s also a serious topic. If this isn’t the right time for you to listen, I understand completely. Just bookmark it so you can come back to it later. I’m not going anywhere. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 01:44: The very scary moment that left me feeling traumatized. 06:19: Full panic hit me at this exact moment. 11:26: What narrative psychology is and why it’s proven to work. 14:10: Understand the ‘trauma loop’ so you can identify when you are stuck. 17:41: How your brain processes a normal event or memory. 19:38: How your brain processes a traumatic event. 23:08: Uncover why you have flashbacks, looped thoughts, and triggers. 27:32: How EMDR can integrate traumatic memories properly. 30:29: Why do you and your siblings have different memories of the same events. 37:28: Why feeling shame around a trauma response is normal. 41:52: Three ways to calm your nervous system and be present with your emotions. 44:26: The biggest myth about triggers that even psychologists get wrong. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re getting a crash course in 13 essential hacks that will help you be more successful, and they’re backed by surprising research out of Princeton. Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of the behavior lab The Science of People, a behavioral investigator, body language expert, and bestselling author who specializes in the kind of science-based people skills most of us never hear about. Vanessa’s research proves that anyone can learn these practical skills, earn the trust of others around them, and become more confident, competent, and reliable. News flash: You don’t have to be an extrovert to be successful. Whether you want to be a better leader, land your dream job, achieve big goals, or align your life with what you want, this is the episode for you. Listen, and you'll learn: 3 things you must do in the first ten seconds of a Zoom call to appear trustworthy and reliable How to nail any interview by building unstoppable confidence Why do you keep getting passed over for a promotion? The words you need to get the bonus or raise you deserve Why a second impression is just as important as the first How a fake smile will ruin your reputation The simple mistake we all make when asking for what we want How do you spot a liar? This is an encore episode that is packed with tools, tips, and scripts to boost your chances of success. With new and exciting insights from me at the top of the episode, you will leave feeling more confident for your next interview, first date, or wherever you are upleveling in your life. You owe it to yourself to learn how to cultivate unstoppable confidence and influence, and you can do that in just a few minutes. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:23: The shocking research from Princeton about how people size you up. 4:50: What exactly IS charisma and what does it look like? 6:58: Why high achievers can’t just rely on their intelligence. 8:15: Two types of awkward people and how to tell. 14:14: Are you highly competent? Look for these three signs. 16:42: What highly competent people are missing. 21:27: What highly warm people are missing. 23:58: The ONE thing you need to do in the first 10 seconds of your Zoom call. 28:06: A simple test that will help you figure out how charismatic you are. 32:10: The reason why you keep getting passed over for that promotion. 40:08: Why you should never fake a smile. 46:02: Three ways you can start building your charisma today. 47:42: Why a second impression is as important as the first. 51:07: Five silent cues to command respect in any situation. Disclaimer

In this episode, world-renowned brain specialist Dr. Daniel Amen reveals the secrets to a happier life, and it all starts with... (surprise!) your brain. Dr. Daniel Amen is a medical doctor with 40 years of experience as a psychiatrist, 12 New York Times bestselling books, and he’s conducted over 200,000 brain scans, all of which back up the simple, proven tactics he’s about to share with you. Dr. Amen shares the 3 most important habits you can start today to make your brain work better for you, based on decades of research. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, addiction, or stress, the information in this episode will forever change the way you think about your brain. No boring and complicated science here. Learn simple, practical changes to improve your brain, like: What to say first thing in the morning to keep your brain strong The 5 most important foods to eat for optimal brain health The 2 most important vitamins to take every day How to tell when your vital hormones are off Why strength training is better than cardio for your health 3 most important words to keep your brain sharp The breathing technique Dr. Amen recommends for an anxious mind This is your zero-cost guide to better brain health! This is an encore episode with new and exciting insights from me at the top of the episode. You keep asking about how to improve your mental health, and it starts with improving your brain health. In under an hour, you’ll learn everything you need to be sharper, smarter, and more successful—by maximizing the power of your brain! Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:52: Today, you have an appointment with one of the world’s leading experts on brain health. 05:28: The craziest brain scan Dr. Amen has ever seen 07:17: Brain health 101: What you need to know about your brain today 09:34: The simplest habit you can incorporate today to protect your brain 10:53: The first thing you need to say every morning to keep your brain strong 13:01: The 2 most important vitamins to take daily 16:38: What do having a glass of wine and falling in love have in common? 20:52: 3 easy ways to know if you have low dopamine levels 29:02: The breathing technique Dr. Amen recommends for an anxious mind 33:02: 2 proven ways to calm a very busy brain 37:40: Whenever you get a negative thought, ask yourself this one question 39:04: If you feel tired all the time, it’s time to look inward. 42:47: How to improve your memory: it starts in your kitchen 46:10: The greatest piece of advice on brain health you need to leave with Disclaimer

In this episode, you’ll get 5 effective strategies to help you improve your family dynamics, resolve almost any conflict like a pro, and create a better bond. Spending time with family is awesome, but it can also be challenging because, as much as you wish everyone could get along, different personalities and opinions don’t always mix well together. When family drama starts, don’t allow yourself to get sucked into it. You can learn how to dial down the drama and build trust and connection. Today I invite you to sit on the couch next to me and my family here in Vermont as our three adult kids discuss all the ways Chris and I have screwed up as parents and the things we did that built trust and brought us closer. I can’t wait for you to hear the truth bombs our kids are dropping. They’re shockingly insightful and will change your relationships for the better. Listen, and you’ll learn: The mistakes we (and other parents) made and how to fix them. How to set powerful boundaries that everyone knows and respects. The most tactical way to deal with difficult relatives and their BS. The 6 words that increase trust in any relationship. What to do when you repeat the same toxic relationship patterns. 5 secret words that will get your kids (or anyone) to tell you the truth. One simple tool that makes discipline and boundaries easier for you. (and your kids) Share this episode with your family, and consider listening to it WITH your kids. It’ll definitely spark an interesting conversation because we get real and raw, and hold nothing back. If you’re looking to get closer to someone you love, this episode is exactly where you should start. I can’t wait to hear what you think! Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 02:40: My daughter recently schooled me in a conversation about boundaries. 10:40: Ladies and gentlemen… my family. 13:25: A listener asks, “Are your kids really that open in real life?” 16:05: What we said to our daughter that knocked down barriers between us. 18:30: Here’s the #1 reason why kids don’t get honest with their parents. 21:30: This is how Chris and I think about the purpose of parenting. 26:00: Shouting out research around addiction so we can have compassion. 30:10: Chris shares how he became addicted to recreational drugs. 33:00: How do you start forming a good bond with your kids at an early age? 35:00: Trust us; you’re going to screw up as a parent, and it’s okay. 39:30: Expressing our emotions lets our kids know they can express theirs. 41:30: Oakley shares how seeing his dad cry impacted his life. 45:15: A listener asks: How do you get your teens to open up to you? 48:30: How do you find peace in your mistakes with your kids? 54:00: Your kid wants to leave school for a partner somewhere else: try this. 58:00: The #1 question I ask my kids when they’re struggling. 1:05:00: Know somebody in a relationship with somebody who is stifling them? Disclaimer

In this episode, a renowned Oxford-trained neuroscientist teaches you the most incredibly simple, science-backed hack that will change every single part of your life in just 10 minutes. Professor Shane O’Mara, academic writer, author, and Experimental Brain Researcher at Trinity College in Dublin, walks us through the mind-blowing research behind, of all things, walking. You’ll be shocked to learn how the right kind of walking can lower depression and anxiety without medication. Professor O’Mara explains 3 different types of walking: one way will boost your creativity, another will make you more productive, and a third way will make you a rockstar problem solver. You’ll also learn about the incredible cognitive, mechanical, and physiological chain reaction that happens in your brain and body during a simple walk. The research and neuroscience will empower you to use walking to help you: Conquer your fears. Make your brain younger. Reduce your stress and feel happier. Double the number of your creative ideas. Be more focused and productive at work. Turn off anxious thoughts. Decrease inflammation in your body. Improve your relationship with yourself and others. If you’re short on time, bullshit. Put your earbuds in and get outside. Are you ready? Hit play, and let’s walk. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 05:29: Want a younger brain? Start moving. 09:48: You won’t believe these benefits of a 10-minute walk. 11:29: Is your environment working against you? 16:28: Here’s how walking is just as good, if not better, than your antidepressant. 17:20: This is what happens when you get outside and into nature. 20:50: What the heck is a “walking mind”? 23:54: Walking makes you more creative if you do this. 31:34: Turn up your energy while you walk using this incredible metaphor. 32:56: The shocking study that explains how walking changes your personality. 36:07: Don’t have enough time for a walk? I call BS. Here’s why. 39:00: Professor O’Mara suggests your walking routine should look like this. 42:32: 5 easy ways to get in more steps every day. 47:03: This is why you want to make it a habit to walk at night. 52:06: Feel like you don’t belong? Here’s how walking can help. Disclaimer

In this episode, double-board certified Dr. Amy Shah is here to explain the science of hormones, how they impact a woman's body, and more importantly, what you can do about it. If you’re tired of PMS, bloating, mood swings, hot flashes, the belly "bread basket," or the brain fog of menopause... grab your pen and get ready to take notes. Dr. Amy, a medical doctor trained at Harvard, Cornell, and Columbia, is an immunologist and leading expert in women’s hormonal health and nutrition. She is here to explain it all in a way that you can understand and apply to your life. Today, Dr. Amy Shah reveals: What hormones are and how they work. What’s going on in a woman's body from first period to menopause. Why hormone therapy won’t help you lose weight. What 4 things you need to help you naturally boost estrogen. Why walking is better than HIIT or running if you’re in menopause. 3 simple changes for a better night’s sleep. How sleeping in a pitch-dark room helps you lose weight. How to hack your 28-day cycle for more confidence and resilience. I can’t wait for you to learn from Dr. Amy. You are going to feel so empowered! And please share this with all the women you care about in your life: your mothers, sisters, daughters, wives, and girlfriends, because we all deserve to know what the heck is going on and how to feel better in our bodies. Xo, Mel PS: For all of our readers who are men, do NOT stop reading. You have to live with us, so this will help you too. (And will make you wonderful when you forward it to all the women in your life). Plus this research and advice on hacking hormones is just downright fascinating! In this episode, you’ll learn: 02:27: Why the hell do I always feel so tired? 04:52: What happens in our bodies during PMS and menopause? 09:10: Best metaphor to help you understand what’s going on in your body. 11:37: How to optimize your health in every phase of hormone change. 15:02: When in your cycle you should train and eat like an athlete. 17:03: What is really happening with your hormones during pregnancy? 21:09: Where the heck did this muffin top come from? 27:32: The top 5 health questions for Dr. Shah and her answers. 30:02: Did you know that PMS is a mini-menopause? 34:06: Why sleeping in a cold, dark room will help you lose weight. 38:42: Top 3 tricks that regulate your cravings. 40:01: Why anxiety increases during PMS. 46:48: What you need to know about hormone replacement therapy. 56:12: Power nap or meditate at THIS time for best results. 59:01: Why it’s way past time we start talking about women’s health. Disclaimer

In this episode, renowned researcher, bestselling author, and total badass Ritu Bhasin will help you step into your power. Her work proves that a better life begins when you stop trying to fit in and start showing up as your authentic self. Does this sound like you? You say yes to fit in. You stay silent and let others talk over you during meetings. You never ask for that raise you’ve earned. You let your partner and friends make all the decisions. You don’t have big goals because you’re afraid to fail. Before you waste another day of your life pretending to be someone you're not, listen to this life-changing episode. You deserve better. This episode will teach you how to make the rules and be who you want to be. Ritu and I will teach you how to claim your confidence and live a bolder, badass life in 4 simple steps. Game ON. This is your time. Take it. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 05:27: Why Ritu wanted to make an entire video about how to pronounce her name. 09:08: What it means to stand in your power. 12:53: Are you masking your true identity? 18:32: Feeling comfortable with yourself vs. hiding who you really are… 22:24: The pressure to perform shows up in the body in these ways… 27:02: The #1 thing Ritu did to bring more belonging and authenticity into her life. 29:24: 3 steps to conquer uncomfortable situations. 31:42: The mantra that Ritu repeats to herself to stay in control. 37:11: The only thing you can control are your actions. 43:48: The most important version of your “self” looks like this.. 47:32: How to make others feel like they belong, too, and why that matters. 49:52: You have 3 versions of your "self" - here’s what they are. 52:54: We are all adults stuck in a middle school brain. 58:38: The #1 takeaway I want you to get from this conversation. Disclaimer

In this episode, Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques is going to teach you 3 simple steps to turn anxiety into power. And she’s not fooling around; in the first few minutes, she even called me out. If you want to be more successful and effective in getting what you want out of your life or career, learning how to master your emotions, especially in difficult situations, is an essential skill. And Dr. Luana is a sought-after expert who will teach you how. If major life changes crush you with overwhelm and anxiety, this is for you. If stress and frustration are holding you back at work, you need her 3-step method. If your palms start to sweat just thinking about… Downloading the dating app. Applying for a better job. Moving in with your significant other. Filing for divorce. Your kids leaving for college or to live on their own. Not anymore. Dr. Luana Marques is a popular Harvard professor here to teach you that change is not only a necessary part of life but an incredibly powerful part of creating the life you want. And even cooler, she is going through a MAJOR career change right now (and using her 3-step process to do it). Today you’ll learn to: Stop running away from your feelings. Silence your self-doubt. Figure out what’s most important to you (so you can run toward it). Jump into new situations using a powerful metaphor. And you’ll get a practical and simple 3-step framework to master any transition in your life. Grab your notebook, your pencil, and hit play. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 02:36: Why are transitions so damn hard? 06:45: The exercise you need to find your values, according to research. 09:24: What happens when ambition no longer serves you? 13:17: What happens when success comes at a cost? 16:21: How values have shifted post-pandemic. 20:54: Holding space for discomfort with your loved ones is essential. 23:58: Feel your feelings; it’s okay to not feel okay. 28:41: The one thing you need to add to your calendar today. 31:42: Attach yourself to your why. 37:56: Dr. Luana’s 3-step method to overcoming any transition. 42:04: Dr. Luana’s incredible work at Harvard. 43:08: What Dr. Luana means when she says the world is "locked". Disclaimer

Today on the podcast, you and I are having a deeply personal and eye-opening conversation about alcohol and your relationship to it. Rachel Hart is a best-selling author and master coach who has helped thousands of people re-examine their relationship with alcohol, and that’s exactly what she is going to help you do today. Rachel knows the surprising reason you (and I) crave a drink (or have the urge to shop, vape, play video games, scroll on social media, or want something sweet). She’ll also explain that weird cycle of emotions you experience after drinking. Did I drink too much last night? Did I do anything I regret? Should I stop drinking altogether? Should I detox this week before the wedding next weekend? How do I drink less? Maybe it’s time I stopped altogether. You’ll learn that this agitation and conflict about alcohol are normal. The question is, how do you change it? Rachel says it’s by examining the desires underneath the urge. Today, Rachel will help you unpack urges and desires and teach you why boundaries go right out the window when you feel an urge. Today you’ll learn: What your drinking might really be all about. (it’s not what you think) Why feeling conflicted about drinking is normal. Where do urges really come from, and how do you ignore them? How your first experience with alcohol impacts your relationship with it. What your desires are trying to tell you. How to ditch the shame once and for all. The complicated messaging around alcohol. The 30-day plan Rachel uses with all her clients. Not sure if you have a problem with alcohol? Worried about someone else who does? You're not ready to quit alcohol all together, but you wish you’d not reach for the glass of wine most nights. Wonder if maybe you should stop? Perfect. Listen in. You can change your relationship with alcohol. After this episode, you’ll know how. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 02:12: Why is my relationship with alcohol so confusing? 05:43: The shame cycle I go through every time I drink. 12:08: What does your urge actually symbolize? For me, I had to go back to when I was 14 to figure it out. 15:07: You are creating boundaries that justify your cravings and urges. 20:06: What your urges and cravings are trying to communicate to you. 23:07: The difference between your upper and lower brain and what you need to know. 26:10: How to stop drinking without stopping drinking. 28:09: Learning how to change means having a different relationship with commitment. 36:18: Tool #1: Name the urge when it’s happening. 40:06: Why "just say no" doesn’t work. 48:03: Stop looking for answers from others. You have an inner knowing of what’s best for you. 54:47: Tool #2: Ask yourself, If you couldn’t drink for the rest of your life, what would it feel like? 58:30: Disappointment when you give up your urges is normal. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn that it is never too late to try to repair a broken or difficult relationship. Research shows that estrangement is not only on the rise but that the majority of us have at least one extended family member or friend who is estranged. I know this is true in my own extended family, and I also have friends who are estranged from their parents. Whether you’re the person who’s cut off contact or you're the one wondering why someone you love did, our episode today will give you the language, tools, and context to start moving toward understanding and healing. Dr. Joshua Coleman is a psychologist and best-selling author who works with families to repair broken bonds and help them reconcile and improve difficult or estranged relationships. In fact, according to Dr. Coleman, the strategies he shares work, and the statistics are in your favor. I hope you share this with anyone you know dealing with a difficult relationship. It is very common, especially after a divorce and when there is a new spouse or significant other. When someone you love suddenly pulls away or cuts you out of their life, you need a playbook to help you know when to reach out and when not to reach out, and what exactly to say and not say. Today you’ll learn: Why estrangement is on the rise. What some therapists do wrong that can make things worse. What to do if you’re the sibling caught in the middle. How to take responsibility, even if you don’t think you should. Early mistakes we make that can lead to estrangement. Early steps we can take to avoid estrangement. How long it takes to reconcile and where to even begin. The pain of separation is real, but it doesn’t have to be forever. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 01:04: The silent epidemic that’s happening right now is estrangement. 02:10: What is estrangement? 04:42: How "cancel culture" is impacting relationships 09:07: The horrible advice for estrangement Dr. Coleman got in therapy. 12:24: What moving towards a child's trauma looks like 14:07: How do you know if someone has deliberately cut you out of their life? 16:32: The most common complaint adult children have for their parents 19:56: One of the most common pathways to estrangement 22:04: The most common mistakes estranged parents make 24:32: Why you cannot take things personally 26:35: Why radical acceptance is a required step in reconnecting 29:50: Let’s unpack why guilt doesn’t work. 35:20: What to do when reconciliation isn’t desired by the other person 36:32: What are the steps towards reconciliation? 39:07: Why Dr. Coleman says that parents have a moral obligation to take the high road 42:10: The silent treatment is wrong. Here’s why 47:15: When you should stop reaching out for reconciliation 49:30: What is an amends letter, and how should you write it? 56:18: How do you engage with someone who doesn’t want to engage with you? Disclaimer

In this episode, I show you how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult in a very simple way. And it starts with your morning coffee. Plus, I’m sharing 4 opening lines and tactics you can use when approaching a potential new friend. Can we just be honest? Making new friends as an adult is so hard. And I believe that we are all struggling with it. So I’m going to share the strategies that I have used in the last year to go from moving to a new town and feeling like I have "no friends" to taking the steps to create an awesome new circle of adult friends. Today you’ll learn: The ONE practical and life-changing tool you need to create adult friendships A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area The lies we all tell ourselves about friendships that keep us thinking we have none How remote work has changed the friendship game The single best place to park yourself on a Saturday morning to find your people How to approach a stranger (potential friend) without coming across as weird, creepy, or awkward What I’m sharing today works because this is how I found my people in the last 12 months. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:37: Today I feel like I’m living in an adult summer camp; it wasn’t always this way. 4:31: It is within your power to create community and connection. 7:13: What happens when you look through the lens of loneliness? 8:55: The #1 mistake I made with my friendships. 10:15: If you want the flower to grow, you need to plant the seed. Let me explain. 14:05: The lie you’re telling yourself when it comes to friendships. 18:44: Why making friends feels so hard nowadays. 20:07: A fun framework for friendship that involves the 4 different types of coffee shops in your area. 27:58: The coffee shop I go to and why it’s been a gamechanger for meeting potential friends. 31:28: I challenge you to do this the next time you get a coffee. 33:08: Friendship is a verb, you have to make it happen. 34:18: This ONE tool will allow you to create lasting bonds. 35:03: For all my introverts, here is my advice for you... 36:18: The easiest ways to create connection in any situation. 37:20: Don’t have weekend plans? You will after you do this. 41:08: Making new friends can be fun and easy (I’m being serious). Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn why you struggle in certain relationships and how to let more love in. Whether you struggle in your friendships or your romantic relationships, or you don’t feel connected to your family or the community where you live, today's conversation will give you the insight and tools that you need to create better and more loving relationships everywhere. Dr. Marisa Franco is a NYT bestselling author, award-winning therapist, and professor of psychology at The University of Maryland. She dedicated her professional practice to the study of connections and systemic loneliness. What will really catch your attention is her research on attachment styles and what they look like in real time, which has been an incredible game changer for me and my personal relationships, particularly with my husband. Attachment style theory goes way beyond "love languages," and once you know yours, you’ll be less triggered by others around you. Understand the attachment styles of others, and you’ll take things less personally. In today’s episode, you’re getting a complete guide to: What attachment styles are and how they look in real life. The questions to ask yourself to figure out what your style is. How to tell if you’re hanging out with the right people. The one thing avoidant attachment people have a really hard time doing. How your attachment style determines who you’re attracted to. Why you might be confusing being triggered with being in love. Key strategies to start developing a secure attachment style yourself. After listening to this episode, you’ll see the people in your life through an entirely new lens and with an abundance of compassion. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:00: Let’s begin with the first style. What is a secure attachment style? 5:10: What does anxious attachment look like? 6:00: Avoidant attachment-type people have a hard time trusting. 6:30: Those who experienced high-trauma situations are more likely to have this style. 8:00: What do these attachment styles look like in real life? 11:45: Is it easier to identify attachment styles in yourself or others? 17:20: How do you have a relationship with someone who has an avoidant style? 20:30: Can you have more than one attachment style? 22:00: How can you develop a more secure attachment? 26:00: Avoidantly attached people actually do have an underlying need for connection. 31:30: These physical symptoms can be a result of your attachment style. 35:45: These activities will help you start connecting with your body again. 38:20: Here’s how you can create a ‘safe’ space for someone with avoidant attachment. 47:50: Why do we always seem to date the same kind of people? 49:40: Do you confuse being triggered with being in love? 54:45: So how do you find securely attached people to hang out with? 57:45: Do this one hack every day to start developing a secure attachment yourself. 59:00: This is why understanding attachment styles has been a game changer. Disclaimer

In today’s episode, you will learn the 5 things that men secretly struggle with and how you can open up the conversation to better support them. I’m proud to introduce you to my husband, Chris, who is the founder of a men's retreat, Soul Degree. He has been leading these retreats for the past 6 years and has worked with everyone from veterans, executives, and first responders to college students. Chris has incredible insight into the secrets that men keep and the struggles they’re facing alone. Hearing Chris unpack these challenges is very compelling. He not only shares insights from leading retreats for 6 years but also from his coaching practice and his work as a death doula. Many of the struggles that he witnesses in other men are the exact same struggles that he has worked through as well. This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear, and so do the people that love them. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; everyone struggles with loving themselves. If you don’t know what’s going on with the men in your life, let me talk to them and let them know it’s okay. That’s why I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your routine. Today you’ll learn: The 5 shocking things that most men in your life are struggling with One habit that has helped hundreds of thousands of people to start showing self-love Why it’s so hard to love yourself and the secret to self-love The science behind why this habit is transformative The profound insight my husband Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge Love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:25: The 5 shocking things that most men are struggling with 4:57: Do you put others' needs above your own? Do this exercise. 14:24: Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first 18:11: When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure 25:24: What all men struggle with 27:48: 50% of people find it impossible to do this. 29:35: What Chris has to say to all the men out there 32:34: The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge 37:40: Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do 39:06: What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit 41:56: The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear 41:44: Why it’s so hard to love yourself 51:50: Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn the 4 happiness habits that, based on research, are scientifically proven to make you happier in 21 days. Happiness is not only possible; it is an option for you. Our guest today is one of the most respected happiness researchers in the world. Shawn Achor is the author of 4 New York Times bestsellers and has created the largest happiness training program in the world. He is here to prove to you that happiness is not only possible but also an option for you. This conversation is packed with practical and proven tools that you can put to work in your life immediately. We will also dig deep into the research that supports everything that you are about to learn. Shawn goes deeper than he has ever gone in an interview, discussing his struggle with depression and how these 4 habits have helped him climb out of it. Get out your notebook because we are drilling into decades of psychological research that will ladder up to more meaning in your life. Today you’ll learn: How to find happiness amidst pain and fear The 4 simple habits that create more happiness What Shawn calls the ‘turning point’ for his struggle with depression How to be happy even when you’re lonely and the importance of connection and community The first step YOU need to take to living a happier, more meaningful life Happiness is not an emotion; it is a framework, and that framework is getting built today! Xo Mel In this episode you’ll learn: 2:04: What is the definition of happiness? 3:12: Where can you find happiness amidst pain and fear? 10:41: What happens when you become fearful that you will never be happy again? 12:53: Step #1 to claiming happiness is recognition. This is why. 14:05: This is YOUR starting point for living a happier life. 15:49: These 4 simple habits for 21 days will change your life. 17:53: What kept Shawn going: the habits that pulled him out of a depression. 21:22: Reminder: Happiness is a team sport. 29:24: What loneliness actually is 32:37: The importance of social connection and community 35:14 The story we tell ourselves is how we navigate our lives. 40:35: It’s not the end of your story; the reminder I even needed 45:47: Happiness is an option, not a choice. 48:58: What Shawn learned in Flint, Michigan, about mindset and behavior 51:52: The tools and takeaways you need to remember after this conversation Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn the art of having more fun. I share a hilarious story about a major wardrobe malfunction with you and two podcast crew members. You’ll laugh along at all the ridiculous details, but the takeaway is serious: Learning how to laugh at yourself is a superpower, and research says people who have a sense of humor are more respected and are viewed as more confident and intelligent by their peers. Today you’ll learn: How having fun in life is an art form How to turn something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable How humor increases power and status Why it’s important to not take yourself too seriously How to create a bond and change the tone in any social situation Why it’s imperative to never buy a bodysuit that is too small Seriously? You need to laugh more. Let’s start today. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 01:26: The best feeling in the world: taking your bra off at the end of the day 3:52: Chris tells us what the equivalent feeling is for men. 5:33: The major wardrobe failure I had yesterday. 9:23: Pro tip: always test drive a cool outfit before an event (especially if it includes shapewear). 12:09: The worst wedgie that I have ever had. 14:41: I can’t believe I just admitted this, but don’t we all do this? 19:20: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds. 21:18: Let everyone in on the joke, it will change the dynamic. 22:24: My ultimate moment of relief. 26:22: How turning something embarrassing into something hilarious and relatable tightens bonds. 31:09: Why does Amy do stand-up comedy, and can you develop a sense of humor at any point? 33:52: According to research, the funnier the person, the more respect and power you hold. 38:08: I invite you to do this one thing: laugh at yourself. Disclaimer

Why do you always crave dessert after dinner? Or a snack mid-afternoon? Today we’re digging into the science of cravings: -Why you have them -How to tell the difference between a craving and actual hunger -How to eat your way to better health and a happier life. Dr. Amy Shah is a double-board certified medical doctor with training from Cornell, Harvard, and Columbia Universities and an expert on intermittent fasting, hormones, and food cravings. And today, I got you and me an appointment with her for free! Let’s friggin’ goooo! If you want to understand your body and how to make your metabolism work for you, Dr. Amy has the research and the tools to help you kick your cravings to the curb once and for all. In today’s episode, you will learn: *when to drink coffee in the morning so you stay energized all day *how cravings relate to dopamine and how to curb them so they never come back *why your sugar cravings are so strong and how to stop them *the truth about probiotics and which ones your body needs right now *what ghrelin and leptin are and why they are the secrets to a healthy metabolism *the shocking research that compares antidepressants to food and exercise *how to stop overeating Our bodies are complicated, but your health doesn’t have to be. Let Dr. Amy empower you to live a more vibrant, fulfilled, and energized life. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: So what’s the difference between hunger and cravings? 6:00: Many of our poor food choices are not our fault. 19:30: So how do we fix our eating habits if we’re not always in control? 20:30: Food and exercise are more effective than drugs for anxiety and depression?! 23:20: So what are some of the foods that will boost natural hormones? 28:30: Drinking enough water during the day makes you eat less. 37:30: Here’s what food companies know about dopamine. 41:40: Do this when you want to stop overeating. 44:45: Why does dopamine work better when you reward yourself at random times? 46:30: What are psychobiotics and how do they stop cravings? 50:20: Here’s how your gut and your brain talk to each other and what that means. 51:30: What exactly is the relationship between food and bacteria? 55:15: So where do we start with supplements? 57:30: The #1 probiotic that you should be adding to your days. 59:30: How the hell do you get rid of your sugar cravings? 1:03:30: Do you get enough sleep? Here’s why that matters. 1:06:00 Why you should wait 45 minutes before you drink your coffee. 1:08:10: This is what Dr. Amy thinks about intermittent fasting and how she does it. 1:10:00: Eat a high-dopamine breakfast to start your day on the right track. Disclaimer

More and more adults are being diagnosed with ADHD, so today, we are unpacking the 6 surprising signs of ADHD. I also tell you why so many women, in particular, go undiagnosed. This episode is deeply personal, but my story is shared by so many women. I lived my entire life with symptoms of ADHD and crushing anxiety because of it. But I was never diagnosed until the age of 47—and I found out by fluke! So in this episode, I go deep into what ADHD is: a neurological disorder that affects the brain structurally and chemically. I explain the signs and the science behind what is going on in your brain to help you live a better life. If you ever wondered if you have ADHD, if you feel like menopause is making it worse, or if you struggle with anxiety, an eating disorder, or low self-esteem, you have to listen. All these might be symptoms of ADHD. This episode goes way beyond an inability to focus, because ADHD is so much more. This is an education in how your brain works, how focus works, and how to help yourself or someone in your life who may have ADHD. I’ve been wanting to record this episode for MONTHS, but I didn’t want to do it until I had first-class resources for you. Because every time I talk about my ADHD story, we get an avalanche of questions from listeners. I have regrets about that lost time when I did not know I had ADHD, and I don’t want you to have them, too. Today you’ll learn: *why women have been profoundly underdiagnosed *four key differences between genders with ADHD *why my diagnosis was both a blessing and a curse *the surprising way most women find out *six symptoms of ADHD that most people don’t catch *the connection between anxiety and depression and ADHD *resources and hacks to help you take charge over your symptoms Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:44: The surprising backdoor way I was diagnosed with ADHD. 6:30: What I learned about the “lost generation” that has blown me away. 7:45: A terrifyingly important statistic that led to this podcast episode. 9:00: The definition of ADHD that may make you feel better about yours. 10:15: Why are women underdiagnosed? The differences in symptoms. 19:30: This is how ADHD impacts your brain. 22:30: Breaking this myth about this symptom of ADHD. 24:45: A really clear metaphor to explain how your brain silences noise, or doesn’t. 32:00: How is it I have ADHD, yet I can hyper-focus? 34:00: More surprising symptoms of ADHD that might make your relationships hard. 38:00: This one hack helps me get birthday gifts for others on time. 40:00: The jobs I loved because they worked well with ADHD. 43:45: Now here’s the good news! 45:30: A predictive statistic about children that you’re going to want to hear. Disclaimer

According to Harvard professor Dr. Luana Marques, there is one sneaky habit that holds every single person back – and no one knows what it is. When she reveals the habit that holds you back, your first reaction will be to stop and think. And as you listen to her explain it and give you examples, you’ll be shocked that you’ve never before seen it in yourself or heard anyone else point it out to you… until now. You’re not the only one. I didn’t know about this habit until I was introduced to Dr. Marques’ work. What you learn today will change how you think about success, influence, mindset, and even anxiety and procrastination. This sneaky habit has been holding you back and you didn’t even realize how pervasive it is in your life. It’s not self-doubt. It’s not fear. It’s something even deeper. I want you to listen, because she’s the world’s leading expert on the topic, and this is one of those episodes that will make you never look at life the same again. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:00: The sneaky habit that’s holding you back, according to Dr. Luana Marques 3:00: Dr. Marques’ story will inspire you and explain how she discovered these tools. 7:30: Why this specific habit is keeping you from your best life. 9:00: How this habit leads to anxiety and panic at work. 13:00: Dr. Marques’ turning point in finding the success she has, against all odds. 22:00: Unpacking exactly what this habit is and how it holds you back, including your body’s response. 27:30: The lie you keep telling yourself. 30:00: This is how your brain is working against you. 33:00: Simple tools from CBT Therapy research that make a difference. 36:00: Exactly what to do when your thoughts spin and how to change your mindset immediately. 42:00: This approach works even if you don’t believe it. 43:30: How do you stress less and find more peace? 47:00: The first thing Dr. Marques does when helping her clients change. 50:00: How these strategies apply to parenting and family. Disclaimer

Today we are digging into the research on gratitude. Gratitude is a critical life skill, yet most of us are practicing it wrong. That’s right. According to the research, there are 4 essential elements of genuine gratitude. Without all 4, you can’t unlock the powerful physiological, neurological, and psychological benefits of genuine gratitude. For example, if you’re just thinking about what you’re grateful for or writing a list before you go to bed, you’re probably not getting the full impact of its power. Once you know the 4 steps, you can use genuine gratitude to actively rewire your brain! Next, we’ll discuss the “Toxic Gratitude Theory” and the 6 ways you probably use gratitude in a backhanded or manipulative way – and don’t even know it! I’m guilty of all 6 types of toxic gratitude (ouch) and now that I see it, I can stop doing it. So today, let’s learn how to unlock gratitude and all its profound power. You’ll also learn… The 4 neurotransmitters involved in a science-backed gratitude practice The important difference between being just “thankful” versus genuinely “grateful” and why it matters How using one specific word is critical to building up your resilience What to say to someone who’s going through a really tough time And because I’m so genuinely grateful for you, I have started rolling out a fun bonus with each episode, Mel Robbins Podcast Bloopers, so listen all the way through for a good laugh! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:00: Ever met someone who just makes you feel so loved and grounded? 12:20: What happens in your body when you feel more gratitude? 16:00: What’s the difference between being thankful vs. gratitude? 21:40: Here are the four important elements of genuine gratitude. 25:00: Are you using gratitude in a toxic way? Hear these six types of toxic gratitude. 26:00: Let’s unpack the #1 way we engage in toxic gratitude. 28:10: The #2 type of toxic gratitude is actually resentment in disguise. 29:45: This #3 type will keep you stuck in what’s not working for you. 33:00: We use the 4th type of toxic gratitude to escape uncomfortable emotions. 36:00: Being mentally well means giving yourself the space to feel all emotions. 37:30: Let’s unpack how you use the 5th type when you don’t know what to say. 39:00: And please don’t use this type to downplay your accomplishments. 41:00: This is one of my favorite acceptance speeches ever. 43:00: I looked up the meaning of Judah’s name and couldn’t believe what I found. 46:00: So how do you stay grounded in a chaotic environment? Listen to these tips. Disclaimer

If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something big, today's episode will get your head spinning, open your heart, and inspire you to take the leap. It doesn’t matter how young or how old you are. You are meant to go big, to swing for the fence, and to do something no one has ever done before. No more small plans. You have something big to do. And there’s no better person to inspire you to make big plans than my friend and IT Cosmetics Founder, Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin. Today you’ll hear the story of how she transformed the beauty industry, created the most successful product launch in QVC history, and ultimately sold IT Cosmetics to L’Oreal for 1.2 billion dollars (becoming the first female CEO at L’Oreal in their history). If you think Jamie had it easy on the way there, you’d be wrong. And you won’t have an easy time either, but so what? Her story is a rollercoaster of rejection and disappointment, fear, self-doubt, and near bankruptcy. But when you’ve got big plans, you just keep going. Jamie never lost faith, and today she is teaching you how to never give up on your big plans either. In today’s episode, you will learn What to do when you have no idea what you’re doing. Why it’s okay to do something that’s been done plenty of times. What it’s like to pitch live on QVC. How to handle someone saying “Women won’t buy from someone who looks like you.” How to believe in yourself when nobody else does. A truth about success we rarely ever hear about. What to do when QVC says “NO you can’t sell that way.” How to react when some idiot tells you they won’t invest in you. How to break into an industry event and pitch your idea. How to harness belief in yourself when you want to give up. Wow. Just wow. If you don’t know what to get the graduates in your life, send this episode because it’s a real gift. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:50: Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima. 7:30: Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s. 9:00: Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks. 10:00: What the hell does it mean that our lives are happening “for” us? 10:45: Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose. 13:15: If you hate your job, listen to this. 16:50: The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful. 20:15: Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with. 24:00: This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams. 27:30: But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do? 32:00: Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in. 35:30: Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle. 37:20: Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times. 38:30: This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going. 41:15: Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose. 44:30: How do you determine the NEXT right step? 46:45: Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections. 57:00: Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength. 1:02:00: Does your purpose have to be part of your job? Disclaimer

This is a message for every new graduate. Whether you’re graduating from college or graduating from a chapter in your life, you need this message today. Your dreams matter, and what happens next is in your hands. You have a flame inside you that represents the way you were meant to show up in this world. Today I’m teaching you how to throw gasoline on that flame. No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well, and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them. If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today. Whether you’re ready to make your mark on the world... Or you’re tired of your excuses... Or if you're like Barbara, who you'll meet in this episode, and you've given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet… This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life. I’m going to show you -the three ways you shut down your dreams -why jealousy is actually a good thing -the one question to ask in the morning that will impact the entire rest of your day And if you don’t even remember what it’s like to dream, I’ve got you. This episode includes a free download of an incredibly powerful, science-backed tool that will help you start dreaming again. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: These are the moments that define your life. 9:15: Here’s what happens before every time I reinvent myself and my life. 10:50: My first dream job never left me and eventually led to this podcast. 14:30: Watch for this evidence of your dreams still being alive in your heart. 18:15: The first way you extinguish your dreams. 18:30: The second way you pour a cold bucket of water on your dreams. 18:50: The third way you shut down your dreams. 21:45: The science-backed habit that’s going to help you start dreaming again. 22:40: Here’s a whole bunch of dream examples, if you need ideas! 24:45: What is the Zeigarnik Effect and what does it have to do with your dreams? 26:15: I have a free download for you! 29:30: Here’s where I gave Barbie some serious tough love because I believe in her. 34:30: The one powerful question you’re going to ask yourself every morning. 35:40 On this date, I finally gave myself permission to make my dream happen. 37:50: When times get challenging, you should be doing this. 40:15: Try this exercise to shine a light on the way you limit what’s possible for you. 47:00: All that hard stuff in your life is for a reason. 49:15: Think you’re too old for your dreams? Then you need to hear this. 51:45: Curious about what happened to Barbara? Listen in. Disclaimer

Welcome to an exciting new masterclass on designing the life of your dreams. First, you’ll learn the process for identifying your own North Star, why this is important at the beginning of creating your new life, and how to use your North Star to guide you in the process of designing your life. Next, you’ll dive deep into the 3-part framework: Emulate, Assimilate, and Innovate. This framework is the backbone of the University of Southern California’s world-renowned Popular Music major taught at their Thornton School of Music. It’s the creative process artists use to create songs, movies, and video games. The framework has helped launch Grammy-winning artists and touring musicians for the past decade. I just learned about it a week ago and was so blown away that I had to share it with you. When an artist creates a song, they begin with a blank piece of paper. When you design your life, you are an artist with a blank canvas. Today, you’re invited to tap into the artist within and learn how to find your North Star and use the creative process to bring your vision for your future to life. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Hear me describe the woman who recently became MY North Star. 6:40: Choosing this kind of person you want to choose as your North Star is best. 8:00: Shout out to Chris Sampson from the Thornton School of Music for these pillars. 10:15: If you skip Step One in this process, you’re making your life much harder. 14:15: Here’s how Jennifer Aniston made her way into our conversation. 18:10: We start unpacking what Step One of the process looks like, first with music. 21:00: Think of the space in between where you are and want to be as special. 22:15: Try using “want” instead of “need” when it comes to goals and see what happens. 25:20: This is what I did when I first started to dig myself out, but it took me much longer. 28:00: Here’s why this person is my North Star and why he puts a fire in my belly. 31:15: Let’s define the first two steps in this important process and how they’re different. 34:00: How do you know when you’re done and you’ve become your own North Star? 41:45: Kendall’s biggest takeaway from working through this process. 42:45: The way I sign out on all my podcasts was inspired by this woman. Disclaimer

I shared the "Let Them Theory" on social media, and it went CRAZY VIRAL. 15 million views, 11,000 comments. Today, it’s your turn to learn this mindset trick. I’ve been using this technique for a while, so I know firsthand how powerful it is. The "Let Them Theory" is so simple, you’re going to get it immediately. And I have some great stories and examples to share with you, because there are three very different ways you can use it. I can bottom line this in one sentence: When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:30: My overfunctioning anxiety kicked in, until this happened. 6:30: Dr. Amy Johnson gives the best metaphor that explains our need to control. 9:20: Why do we get so upset about what we can’t do a damn thing about? 10:30: These three reasons explain why we try to control. 11:20: Two reasons why your parents and partners are so controlling. 17:00: There are times like these when the “Let Them” rule does NOT apply. 19:00: How are you supposed to let go when you’re a parent? 24:30: Can you relate to this listener who’s worn down from her expectations? 28:00: Stop making up stories about why people do what they do, and just ask. 32:10: When you’re constantly rescuing people, here’s what you teach them. 35:00: Are you actually in a relationship with a real person, or a vision? 37:15: One way we try to control someone is through jealousy. 40:00: Growing apart from a good friend? Here’s how to handle it. 43:30: It’s not your responsibility to make sure everyone else is never hurt. Disclaimer

If you feel that something’s missing from your life but have no idea exactly what’s missing or where to begin looking for it, today’s episode will help you reconnect with your power and find greater meaning in your life. Dr. Thema Bryant is the current president of the American Psychological Association. She trained at both Duke and Harvard, published multiple best-selling books, and has dedicated decades of her life to researching how we connect with each other by first connecting back to ourselves. Her work has been so profound for me personally that, right off the bat in this conversation, I get emotional. Dr. Thema is a national treasure. Her presence and her voice will put you at ease. And she has the unique gift of weaving together psychological strategies for healing with the deeper spiritual cornerstones of faith and trusting in "that which cannot be explained." In this episode, you’ll learn: -6 signs that you are disconnected from yourself -what it means to be "psychologically wandering" -how to handle people in your life who are chronically irritable and angry -the surprising signs of "irritable depression" -the three words to say to yourself before you can begin healing -why self-care is critical if you are in a toxic workplace (you are more than your labor) -why you need to stop talking about your significant other and your boss in therapy. -where to find therapy when you can’t afford it. You are so much more than a highway for other people to get where they’re going. With Dr. Thema’s wisdom and tactics, you’ll reconnect with yourself and take the wheel on your own incredible journey in life. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: I got really emotional when I acknowledged how my life used to be. 6:30: 6 powerful signs that you are disconnected from yourself and what that means. 9:00: Even if you’ve never felt home with yourself, you can learn to be home with yourself. 11:00: The West African fable that gave me chills and should be required reading for everyone. 16:00: This is the first and most powerful step to your “homecoming.” 22:00: Do people with an attitude actually have depression? 25:20: What is healing, anyway? 27:00: How do we handle people in our lives who are irritable, frustrated, and angry? 30:00: It’s a big mistake if you wait for this before you start your own healing. 36:30: How to know if you need therapy or you need spirituality. 41:00: How do you heal from a lifetime of messaging that you’re not worthy? 44:00: This is how you handle working in a toxic work environment. 48:50: Look to these resources if you can’t afford therapy. Disclaimer

Imagine how liberating it would be to not care about what other people think of you. You’d take more risks. You’d stop holding yourself back. You’d make more money and have more fun. That’s what happened to me when I learned the (not-so-subtle) art of not giving a sh*t. This is the best episode I've done so far. I mean it. The best. It’s hilarious. It’s relatable. It’s packed with takeaways and research. It’s entertaining and personal, and yet I still manage to empower you with 4 simple ways to stop caring about what other people think. Want to know what life looks like when you don’t care? I’ll go first. You’ll hear some outrageous, not-safe-for-work stories about your friend, Mel. And as you’re laughing at me, I’ll be laughing at me, too. One of the benefits of not caring about what other people think is that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Why? Because you have much more important things to care about. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:00: Hilarious story of me taking my shirt off at an LA restaurant. 8:30: Christine says you’re not supposed to show up to meetings this way. 14:30: Here’s why wearing ballet flats would have been a failure for me. 16:00: Christine’s profound point about judgment really opened my eyes. 19:00: When you stop worrying about how you look, others around you will too. 23:00: What I think about ugly troll comments so that I can rise above it. 27:00: If you’re part of a gossip loop, here’s what you need to do. 28:00: It’s not normal to wear a child-size space suit in front of your students? 34:00: Jessie could not stop laughing after I did this. 36:00: How can you give honest feedback and not sound like a jerk? 38:00: The wake-up moment for me around relationships. 38:30: My four rules about how not to give a sh*t about stupid stuff. 48:30: Kendall revealed something to me that I still can’t believe. Disclaimer

I am thrilled to share this conversation with you. It is packed with practical strategies that will help the people in your life who may be struggling. Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three New York Times bestsellers. She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with teens and families. Her latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, has been nothing short of life changing. Today you will learn… -five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling -the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping” -what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle -why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you -when it’s time for a therapist -why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”! I started using Dr. Lisa’s strategies with my family the moment we finished recording this episode. They work! You will leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Plus, you’re going to love Dr. Damour (and how hopeful she makes you feel) as much as I do. Xo Mel And if you need to take the reins in your own life, sign up for my free Take Control mini-course to get inspiring support, guidance, and motivation. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:00: Two things psychologists look for when assessing mental health. 5:15: Too many people are not distinguishing between these qualities. 6:15: When exactly IS adolescence? 8:30: We’ve had the wrong idea about what it means to be mentally healthy. 12:45: What’s the difference between a “normal” reaction vs one to be concerned about? 15:10: Do you know someone who is managing by “costly coping.” 16:45: So how do you help your kid? 20:00: This is how you don’t turn a conversation with your child into a fight. 24:00: Take these steps when it’s time to confront your teen. 27:30: Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently. 30:20: Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders. 34:15: How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go? 39:00: Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.” 41:40: This is how my own mother set me straight. 44:00: How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved? 46:30: Can’t find a therapist for your child? Use this resource. 48:00: Here’s how the lockdown impacted our kids. 54:30: When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning? 58:00: What happened to our nervous system during this time? 1:00:00: These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for. 1:01:30: When do healthy habits become an obsession? 1:08:15: How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home? 1:14:00: Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen. Disclaimer

You know what you want and how to start. But you never make progress. Here’s my wake up call for you today: What’s holding you back is never what you think. Today I am coaching a woman who says: I can’t make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I’m in quicksand. Every time I try to move…I sink. She has: -put on an extra 30 pounds -left her relationship with herself in the gutter -no longer does the things that make her happy -broken promises to herself time and again I bet you can relate. This is a must-listen if you want to: be healthier… go back to school.. find your dream home… make new friends… go for that promotion… write a book… land your dream job… But you just can’t make yourself take the actions you need to take. Stop frustrating yourself by trying to solve the wrong problem. Your dreams matter. Today you’re learning where to find the right solution. Pull up a seat for a conversation with a listener like you as we uncover what’s really holding her back. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:15: This metaphor will help you understand why you’re stuck. 6:00: I bet you can relate to Ricki’s story. 8:15: The bad news that made Ricki’s face drop. 11:30: Here’s why you don’t believe your life will get better. 13:30: What happened to you earlier in your life that broke you? 18:15: Maybe you resist a part of your life because it links to something painful. 21:30: When acute grief turns into chronic, underlying grief. 31:00: You can’t invite love, joy, and connection, if you’re closed to it. 33:15: I get where Ricki is, because I used to close myself off in the same way. 39:30: Here’s my assignment for Ricki that I know she needs to do. 41:00: Give yourself permission to be happy again by connecting to this. 45:00: Here’s why I truly believe the best years of your life are ahead. 46:30: Ricki recorded an incredible update for you and me. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn how to decode body language from one of the world’s leading experts on the topic. Janine Driver has been trained by the FBI, CIA, and one of the world’s top hostage negotiators. When a criminal case grabs our attention, every news network calls Janine to analyze body language and critical verbal cues that suspects, politicians, and celebrities are sending so we can tell when somebody is lying. If you love True Crime, you’re going to love this episode, because it’s a masterclass from an expert who’s spent over three decades decoding body language for law enforcement agencies around the country. She will teach you which hand gestures indicate that somebody may be lying, why you should grab your chin during a high-level meeting, why you should never shrug your shoulders if you want to be convincing, and the million-dollar question that you should ask at the end of every single interview. If you’re dating, you’ll learn all kinds of incredible tactics, like why you should never sit directly across from someone on a first date. This is an incredibly interesting, entertaining, and surprising take on how to build confidence and be smarter about the subconscious signals that other people are sending you all day long. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:15: Janine’s early childhood trauma saved her life as a teen. 6:00: So how do you go from being a profiler with the FBI to a body language expert? 9:30: Which three groups of people can read body language really well? 10:00: The hand gesture that says “maybe” even when you’re hearing “yes.” 12:30: Listen for the word “left” when you hear it from someone else. 13:40: How Janine knew Casey Anthony was lying about her daughter’s death. 19:30: What’s your behavioral fingerprint? Here’s how to figure it out. 20:00: What is the best question to ask at the end of an interview? 21:15: How men state what they need versus how women do. 27:00: This is why a shoulder shrug might be a huge clue. 31:40: The power of eye contact, unpacked. 34:15: What the heck is lip locking and what does it mean when someone’s doing it? 36:15: When you’re trying to get the truth out of somebody, use the pause after “don’t”. 37:45: Do this to get your kids to tell you the truth. 42:30: Ever been interrupted by someone in a meeting? Here’s what you do! 47:15: Use this hack to look more confident. 48:00: Janine tells me what my pointy chin means. 48:45: Know the difference between Clark Kent and Superman, and you’re all set. 52:00: This is the BEST dating advice I’ve heard in a long time. 54:15: Here’s how detail-oriented people drink their water. 56:30: Next time you’re on a date or an email, tilt the coaster. 58:00: What if you don’t FEEL confident when you use these “non-verbals?” 1:02:00: Why belly buttons matter more than the eyes when reading someone. 1:04:00: Nervous on a date or an interview? This hack releases nervous energy. Disclaimer

Last week, I learned a really cool trick to help you go with your gut. I guarantee you’ve never heard gut decisions explained this way before. Because I stumbled upon it in a very random way—while touring colleges with our son Oakley! We hit 5 schools in 4 days, and over the course of that time, it hit me. Holy smokes, that's the perfect hack for making big decisions. You can use it anytime you feel torn, uncertain, or scared about how people might feel. What you’re about to learn is so helpful and memorable, you’ll turn to it over and over again. This is one of my favorite kinds of episodes, because I’m going to put you right at the scene—the moment I had the epiphany. I’ll give you all the hilarious details, and there’s even a part of the story where, I am embarrassed to say, I acted pretty cringe-worthy. And that’s not all; as I was taping this episode, two friends chimed in with stories of their own. So I asked them to jump on the mic and share them with you. Two stories about a moment in their lives that’s so relatable—when they ALMOST didn’t go with their gut and looking back, they’re thankful they did. Because going with your gut always changes the trajectory of your life. It just does. That’s why I don’t like the term "trust" your gut. It’s not about trust. You KNOW your gut is right. You’re just scared to go with it. So join me, Oakley, and two of my friends. I’m taking you on an entertaining and profound tour today. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: The moment of my junior year in high school that changed my future. 7:00: I am not proud of this mother moment when I lost it. 11:00: The question Oakley asked is what we all do when we give up our power. 14:15: Here’s what a hard no “feels” like for Oakley. 15:45: Do you feel a “yes” in your body like this too? 17:00: What our brilliant tour guide did when he separated parents from students. 20:30: When it comes to big decisions, step away and go on your own tour. 22:00: Here’s what a “no” and a “yes” usually feels like in your body. 24:00: You’re going to love Amy’s “next big thing” story and how she just knew. 31:00: We all have an opportunity in our lives to use this powerful tool. 33:00: And if it doesn’t work out the way you thought it would? Listen to this. 33:45: Do you have the courage to do this? 36:30: So what do you do when you hear the NO louder than the YES? 40:30: Jessie literally followed her heart and became her own “tour guide.” 42:30: Stop staying you don't “trust your gut” and start saying this instead. 43:00: Take time to do this EVERY day, but especially when you have a big decision. Disclaimer

Oh…sometimes life is a real doozy. You make all these plans, and boom. You step right into a pile of you-know-what. And then you realize that pile was there all along—you just missed it. Which brings us to the topic of today’s episode: making hard decisions and moving on from hard relationships. How do you move forward when… You feel so torn about what to do. You don’t trust yourself. You’re scared to make the wrong decision. What’s best for you will impact the people you love. How do you decide your next big move when everything you worked for evaporates before your eyes? How do you stop thinking about your ex, especially when you might bump into them at any moment? I’ll tell you how. Pull up a seat and join me because you are going to love the listener, Katrina, who I’m coaching today. Her question was, "Should I stay or should I go?" By the end of this episode, you’ll not only have the answer to whatever question YOU are grappling with, but you'll also have so many decision-making tools in your back pocket that you’re going to need more pockets. Today, you’re getting strategies to help you Live your life with no regrets. Keep your cool when you see your ex. Bounce back after rejection. Stop feeling guilty about following your dreams. Make courageous decisions. The biggest takeaway? Knowing the difference between what’s right for you and the fear that’s keeping you from it When something is right, even if it’s scary as hell to go for it, you’ll only ever regret not having tried. Xo Mel PS - If you’re looking to ditch your insecurities for a powerful way to launch forward on your dreams, I’ve got just the thing for you. Sign up for my FREE Take Control mini course here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:20: Ever been dumped? Then you’ll relate to what Katrina is going through. 4:00: The kind of decisions that change your life don’t happen in your brain. 6:30: When you have a big decision to make, ask yourself this question. 8:15: Holding yourself back because you feel guilty? Listen to this. 11:00: The single biggest quality you want in any partner? It’s always this. 14:00: There are always red flags before a breakup, whether you saw them or not. 16:15: You deserve nothing less than these qualities from your partner. 19:00: Try role playing with a friend to help you get the closure you crave. 23:45: Use this strategy to help you make a weighty decision. 27:40: Takeaway #1: Stop running away. Think of it this way instead. 30:15: Takeaway #2: If you want closure, you have to do these two things. 30:30: Takeaway #3: If you’re going to hold yourself back, own it. Don’t blame others. 31:00: Takeaway #4: You’re making it much harder in your head. 32:00: Takeaway #5: As soon as somebody doesn’t want you, they’re not your person. 33:30: Takeaway #6: Please stop doing this after a breakup. 35:00: Takeaway #7: If it’s not love, it’s a lesson. 35:30: Takeaway #8: Don’t be caught off guard by preparing ahead of time. 37:00: Takeaway #9: You don’t need someone else to feel complete. 38:00: Takeaway #10: Don’t let your fears hold you back. Disclaimer

At some point, the you-know-what is going to hit the fan. And it happened to me the other morning when I was driving my husband to his colonoscopy. This is the first episode without a video version because I recorded it from my iPhone after dropping my husband off at the hospital. I promised to take you into my life; I just didn't expect it to be as a stressful situation was unfolding in real time. When it comes to dealing with stress, best-selling psychotherapist and researcher Harriet Lerner says that being an underfunctioner or an overfunctioner is your patterned response to dealing with the alarm in your body. It probably doesn’t surprise you that I am what researchers call an "Overfunctioner." My husband, Chris, is an "Underfunctioner," especially on those days when he’s on the way to a medical procedure. And learning the way YOU react to stress is a game-changer for your relationships. An overfunctioner like me allows the alarm in my body to take over in stressful situations, becoming triggered and anxious. And the only way to calm the alarm is to bark orders, manage the phone calls, organize the activities, make the appointments, plan the meals, and take on all the responsibilities because it gives me a sense of control. It may be my superpower, but it also makes me a royal pain in the a$$ and takes away the chance for Chris to feel empowered. The way Chris deals with stress is more chill and very methodical, which frustrates the hell out of me. Listen today as we work through these two different ways of dealing with a stressful family situation so that you can understand your own approach better and, more importantly, how to ask for what you need from others before you drive them nuts. And if you’re ready to take the next right step to live your life with more confidence and no regrets, this is your time. Sign up for my exclusive signature course, Launch with Mel Robbins. It’s available for registration only through May 4, so grab your spot today! Learn all the exciting details and sign up here! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Let me set the scene for you before everything started blowing up. 4:30: Here’s how I set myself up to fail the night before. 7:15: Then life kicks in big time and cue the mom guilt flood gates. 10:40: Here’s what overfunctioning stress looks like in real life. Can you relate? 14:30: If you don’t catch yourself in this state, your relationships pay the price. 23:00: Chris nails the good, the bad, and the ugly side of overfunctioning. 24:15: I thank Harriet Lerner for her research that helps me understand myself. 26:30: Here’s how my anxiety sees my husband’s “underfunctioning” response to stress. 28:30: And this is how Chris sees my “overfunctioning” response. 32:00: Have a partner who handles stress differently? Here’s how to support each other. 38:00: Chris explains what happens in HIS brain and body when he’s stressed. 42:30: Holy mackerel, I just realized I never stopped to do this in my stress episode. 46:00: This is a tool our couple’s therapist gave us that really helps us to see each other. Disclaimer

You can be rich. (Don’t roll your eyes at me; I’m serious.) This is not what you think. This episode today is so digestible. So counterintuitive. One of the most enlightening conversations I’ve had with anybody. If I had a nickel for every epiphany I had during this episode, I’d be rich. Most of us have been thinking about money all wrong. It turns out that the amount of money you have in the bank (or don’t have in the bank) is only a small part of your relationship with money. I didn’t realize this until I got to sit down with the incredible Ramit Sethi. He’s a NYT best-selling author and finance advisor with a brand new, top-ranked Netflix series called How to Be Rich, where he coaches real people about how to take control of their financial lives. He says you’ve been thinking about money all wrong. This is one of my favorite conversations ever. It changed the way I think about money. If you were told that you need to create a budget and stick to it, Ramit calls BS. Instead, you’ll learn about your money dials, the only four numbers that matter, the 85% Rule, why the 10 Year Bucket List is so important, the one thing you should NEVER say about yourself, and best of all, what it means to live a Rich Life. Today’s episode is going to change the way you SEE money, because when you see it differently, you’ll treat it differently. If you’re feeling crushed by debt, you’re trying to save for a new home, you can’t stop spending, or you’re constantly getting into arguments with your partner over money issues, you need to hear this episode today. You have to learn to feel confident around money, and Ramit has the practical tools and resources to teach you how. And if you’re looking for another zero-cost resource to help you change your mindset around finances, I’ve got just the thing. Sign up for my free training called Take Control with Mel Robbins. You’ll be joining a quarter million other students who’ve signed up already and you’ll get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook that will help you get the clarity you’re looking for to change the direction of your life. All you have to do is sign up here. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:05: Just like me, Ramit has his own story of big-time money loss. 11:20: Assignment #1: Think back to your 20’s and ask yourself this question. 12:45: How do your childhood influences impact your beliefs around money? 19:30: This is a truth bomb about money that you need to hear. 20:15: If you want to live a rich life, you need to do two things. 22:30: My favorite thing to spend money on might seem ridiculous. 24:45: Wondering what most people love to spend money on? 30:00: Why is it important to come up with a fun vision around money? 33:30: How do you define your “rich life”? 34:30: What is a rich life for someone living in debt? 37:45: I think everyone listening needs to do this fun activity. 40:30: Especially if life is hard right now, THIS is what you have to do.. 45:30: Here’s how you step your way closer to your rich life. 47:00: How can you feel in control of something if you don’t understand the details? 48:30: The four numbers everyone should know to stop feeling overwhelmed by money. 56:00: NEVER say this about yourself because it will create your reality. 59:00: We have a bad relationship with money in this country. 50:00: Use this tool to figure out how long it will pay off your debt. 1:06:30: The two areas most people spend too much money on. 1:10:00: Ramit lays down the bottom line about changing your mindset around money. 1:13:00: Here’s your new money mantra to play on repeat. Disclaimer

A few years ago, I found this study from Harvard, and it changed my life. It's research about performance and feeling nervous, with a simple reframing method that you can use to never let fear stop you again. I’ve been using this technique with my five second rule for years, and the first way I applied it was to get control of my nerves and fear of public speaking. I’m going to teach you this new method in a super cool way... by taking you on the road, on stage, and behind the scenes with me as I deliver a keynote address to 3,000 people at the convention center in Dallas. I’ve been wanting to bring you on the road with me for awhile, and this topic allowed me to record this episode live in multiple locations while all kinds of things were unfolding. There’s even an impromptu guest appearance from Michelle Poler, whose entire speaking career is about teaching people how to face their fears. This Harvard-backed technique is so cool because it leverages your body chemistry, physiology, and neural pathways to your advantage. The #1 fear most people have is public speaking, but this technique will help you with absolutely everything, whether it’s speaking up at work, giving an incredible presentation, not choking when you deliver the toast at your best friend’s wedding, performing better on tests, or even running better. Stop letting fear hold you back. Use science not only to reframe your fears into excitement but to conquer them once and for all. And one more thing. My free, brand new, research-backed training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins" is live and waiting for you. Get 3 incredible video trainings plus a 21-page workbook, and all you have to do is sign up here. Already a quarter of a million students are taking the course for free. I’m just waiting for you! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 5:00: I’m always asked how I got into public speaking. Here’s the story. 10:15: The question YOU need to ask when someone asks how much you charge. 12:15: One of THE best tools to calm your nerves is not meditation (for me), but this. 13:30: This is my favorite quote from Charlie Bird Parker. 15:15: The wardrobe failure that may have rivaled Janet Jackson’s. 16:30: Failure sucks, but the Pratfall Effect says failure can work for you. 19:00: I was so excited to meet this speaker and bestselling author from Venezuela. 21:45: Best journal starter question ever: Are you alive but not living? 24:30: Feeling like you never have time? You’re not going to believe this advice. 28:15: Turns out modeling nude is actually a really profound experience. 29:00: Fear might indicate danger OR it might indicate growth. Pay attention. 30:00: How can you tell the difference between true intuition and limiting fear? 32:30: How do you get over your fear of public speaking? 34:00: Feeling imposter syndrome? You’re not alone. Here’s what you need. 40:15: Come on stage with me at the Dallas Convention Center. 40:40: I’m going to face my biggest fear next year for Oakley’s 18th birthday. 42:00: When you do something that scares the pants off you, remember this. 44:30: Tool #3 is based on research from Harvard - here’s what you tell yourself. 50:00: You don’t feel butterflies when you’re nervous because you’re going to screw up. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re learning a simple but powerful way to take control of your mindset. You need to get serious about your mindset. The way you think and talk to yourself has serious consequences. Your thoughts become your beliefs. Your beliefs turn into actions. Your actions become habits. And your habits determine who you are and what you achieve in life, or not. That’s why you need a Mindset Reset. Imagine if your thoughts were positive, empowering, clear, and encouraging. Imagine if your beliefs inspired the best in you. If you’re tired of listening to a voice that beats you down, fills you with doubt, and argues against your goals and dreams, it’s time to change your thinking. Today, you’ll learn how to do it for yourself and start programming a more positive, empowering, and confident mindset. So pull up a seat as I coach two people through the process. I’m so confident you’re going to be fired up after listening to this episode that I have a free gift to help you take your current mindset to the next level. I have a brand new, free, 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins." It will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life. It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a 21-page workbook. Plus you’ll be with hundreds of thousands of other students taking the course for free around the world. All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. Why not take advantage of this opportunity? I’ll see you in the course! Xo Mel In this episode, you will learn: 5:00: What does your default critical soundtrack sound like in your mind? 7:30: Here’s the mantra I want you to start your day with. 9:45: This is one of my easiest and favorite tools for dealing with a critical voice. 16:00: This is the #1 hit playlist I want you to put on repeat. 17:30: Drop this word if you want to improve your relationship with others. 22:30: Work on the most important relationship of all first. 24:15: What if your critics are the voices of your boss, partner, and friends? 26:25: This trauma response is very common when you live in a state of anxiety. 30:15: Here’s why telling yourself that you love yourself doesn’t work for you. 32:00: Yes, your boss may be a douche, but you don’t have to let that ruin you. 35:00: Don’t leave today without taking away this message. Disclaimer

This episode blew my freakin’ mind. After you meet our expert today and learn her revolutionary approach to simplifying your life, you will never approach the topic of picking up, cleaning up, or organizing the same way again. Whether it’s your desk or closet that is overwhelming you, or like me, you are guilty of constantly starting projects and putting things in piles, only to run out of time or get flustered, creating bigger projects to deal with in the future, today’s episode will change your entire life. I had no idea how simple it could be to feel organized and in control. I learned from our expert today that I was attacking organization completely wrong, and that was the problem. Her 5 steps are so life-changing that from the moment I finished talking to her, I started putting them into practice, and the results are incredible. Get ready to laugh and learn as I confess the details of what a disaster I am (my husband even rats me out). Luckily, the incredible Dana K. White, founder of the hit blog, A Slob Comes Clean, and author of How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind, is here to help us all. And that's not all. Don’t forget to sign up for "Take Control with Mel Robbins." It’s free. It’s my gift to you for supporting this podcast. It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook. This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life. And if you combine this training with Dana’s advice about decluttering, you, my friend, won’t even recognize yourself in a week. All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity? Sign up for free at melrobbins.com/takecontrol now. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: What Chris thinks about living with a slob. 😂 4:40: Wait. Organizing and decluttering are NOT the same thing? 6:20: Focus this way on organizing, and it will change your life. 7:30: Why doesn’t it work to buy all those organizing containers? 9:45: How do you know what your “clutter threshold” is? 12:15: We’ve gotten the purpose of containers all wrong! 17:40: Use “the visibility rule” before you do anything. 20:00: This is why you begin with a BLACK trash bag. 23:30: This part is still pretty easy. I can do this and you can, too. 25:00: Here’s why you don’t want a fancy “donate” box. 26:30: The decluttering question you’ve never heard before. 30:45: Here’s what REALLY happens with those organized piles. 31:50: No piles. Here’s what you do instead. 34:15: This is why we always put off organizing in the first place. 37:35: The second decluttering question you’ve never heard before. 39:00: Stop making organizing seem so big! 43:30: Spoiler alert: avoiding clutter doesn’t make it go away. 48:30: So how DO you live with a partner who’s a slob? Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a continuation of our exclusive two-part series with world-renowned medical expert Dr. Russell Kennedy. If you thought Part 1 of this series was life-changing, buckle up! Part 2 of this Toolkit brings you even more strategies and tools as we take questions from three more listeners of the podcast. Is anxiety impacting your ability to sleep? Tired of the negative loop of thoughts in your mind? Is anxiety affecting your kids? Is it genetic? Are there surprising signs of adult anxiety? Did your parents struggle with it, and you never knew? How do you break generational cycles? Dr. Kennedy answers these questions and so many more. You’ll also learn what most therapists get "wrong" about anxiety. You'll find Dr. Kennedy’s approach both revolutionary and effective. As a medical doctor and neuroscientist, he will coach you on the critical difference between "coping” with anxiety and his protocol for "healing" it once and for all. And for anyone in your life who may be struggling, please share this exclusive series generously; it could provide the life-changing answers and guidance they need to finally heal. If you are looking for more free resources and support, I’ve got you! I have a brand new, free 3-part training called "Take Control with Mel Robbins." This training will provide you with the coaching, structure, and support you need to hit reset, take control, and level up your life. It features 3 brand-new training videos, two hours of research-backed curriculum taught by me, and a detailed 21-page workbook. Plus, you’ll be taking the course with over half a million other students around the world. All at zero cost to you. Why? Because you deserve it, and it’s my way of thanking you for being here with me. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. So why not take advantage of this opportunity? Sign up for free at melrobbins.com/takecontrol now. Xo Mel P.S. And if you haven’t yet listened to The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety, Part 1 then do that as soon as you listen to this one, because you can’t afford to miss out. P.S.S. This Toolkit for Healing Anxiety is not meant as a replacement for therapy, but if you’ve been seeing a therapist for a while, forward this series to them for guidance too. It would be great information to include in your sessions. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:45 What do you do when your anxiety creeps in at night? 6:15: Here’s where most therapeutic approaches get it wrong. 7:15: Use this strategy when you wake up in the night with anxiety. 10:00: Living with social anxiety? Dr. Kennedy explains why. 12:00: This is why you have a hard time slowing down. And me too! 14:30: I couldn’t believe what happened when I started facing my anxiety. 15:45: Cold plunges teach your body to be uncomfortable and still be okay. 17:15: This approach doesn’t eliminate the alarm, and yet you still heal. 20:00: Dr. Kennedy’s #1 tool to move you into rest-and-digest pretty quickly. 21:15: Not sure what your nervous system has to do with anxiety? Listen here. 23:45: Use these two tools to move yourself out of the freeze response.  30:00: So how do you start breaking the cycle of anxiety in a family? 34:30: For those of us who grew up in the “I’ll give you something to cry about.” 35:00: What are signs that your parents were actually struggling with anxiety? 43:30: Here’s what your life can look like once you heal your alarm. 45:15: Look at your alarm this way, and your mindset towards it changes, too. 49:45: Here’s the neuroscience behind why essential oils help calm your body. 52:00: Dr. Kennedy shares his tips for playing “the right way.” 56:15: Have this where you can see it to remember your partner’s vulnerability. And if you missed when Dr. Kennedy joined us the first time, click here! Disclaimer

Today’s episode is my gift to you and anyone in your life who struggles with anxiety. I created this exclusive series, "The Toolkit for Healing Anxiety," because of the number of questions I am receiving from listeners asking for more resources on this topic. Part 1 is packed with tactical takeaways and features Dr. Russell Kennedy, one of the world's most respected medical experts on anxiety. Dr. Kennedy is a medical doctor and neuroscientist who has a revolutionary and effective approach to helping his patients understand and heal anxiety. (He's also been our most popular expert on the podcast to date.) Dr. Kennedy teaches you the truth about where anxiety comes from and the mistake that most therapists make when treating it. You’ll also have a front-row seat as he coaches listeners on the critical difference between "coping with anxiety" and his protocol for "healing it" once and for all. I can’t wait for you to listen and apply the advice in this life-changing series. And for anyone in your life who may be struggling, please share this exclusive series generously; it could provide the answers and guidance they need. If you have follow-up questions, send them to me in the DMs or through the podcast topic link on melrobbins.com/podcast. We read them and use them to program future episodes (this toolkit is an example of that). This episode is not meant as a replacement for therapy, but if you’ve been seeing a therapist for a while and aren’t seeing yourself improve, you may want to forward this series to them for guidance too. Xo Mel Didn’t get to listen to Dr. Kennedy’s first interview? Check that out here. In this episode, you’ll learn: · 5:00: I bet you haven’t heard this definition of anxiety before. . · 6:15: So where exactly does anxiety come from? · 7:30: This is a revolutionary way of thinking about how to heal anxiety. · 8:45: If you’re waking up this way, that’s a red flag. · 9:45: A trauma response isn’t directed outward- it’s here instead. · 12:00: Have you tried everything to deal with your anxiety? · 14:45: Forget what you’ve tried so far, THIS is what will actually heal you. · 19:00: This sign of anxiety may surprise you. · 22:00: Anxiety happens because of this and addictions “fix” it · 24:00: I think there are these three layers to healing your anxiety. · 27:15: What the hell does “inner child” mean and why does it matter? · 30:00: There’s a difference between drama and trauma. · 34:00: Dr. Kennedy tried everything, but only this healed his anxiety. · 37:00: Okay, what’s one specific and tangible tool we can use? · 40:30: Do this together with me now. · 44:00: Here’s why play is so important for healing trauma. · 47:00: Healing will take time. Here’s why and what you need. Disclaimer

Today, you and I are calling BS on partners, friends, siblings, colleagues, and roommates who ride on your coattails, mooch off your generosity, and love the fact that you do everything. (While they do next to nothing.…) It’s time to take your power back with 5 actionable takeaways to get people in your life to step up and do their part. I’m not messing around. The first person you’ll meet in this episode is tired of being the only one holding her family together. And during the second coaching session I get even more intense with a woman whose boyfriend hasn’t had a job in three years. Hear me loud and clear: by enabling other people, you are part of the problem. There are 5 things you need to know that will change this dysfunction now. Clear your schedule for the next hour because you and I have an appointment where you, my friend, will learn how to lay down the law and start putting yourself first. Xo Mel Can’t ask for what you need? Listen to “How to Speak Up for Yourself.” In this episode, you will learn: 3:00: Do you have people in your life who rely on you a little too much? 4:30: Maybe you’re being used or maybe it’s this instead. 7:00: Is it time for you to be the parent now? 10:00: This is how to get your entire family on the same page. 14:00: Your siblings will understand your expectations if you do this. 17:15: Do this to make people feel that they’re doing the right thing. 21:30: Have a partner that isn’t pulling their weight? You need to hear this. 35:00: This is how you start a conversation when it’s time to set boundaries. 38:30: In a toxic partnered relationship? This is the truth bomb you need. 40:15: Has it become more important to be loved than to love yourself? 44:45: Let me coach you through this exercise to help you change your future. 48:00: Another truth bomb you need to hear today, no matter what you’re doing. 51:45: Listen to Brooke set a courageous boundary for the first time. 54:00: Keep little ears away, because this is what tough f’n love sounds like. 56:30: Stop letting your patterns make choices for you and step up. 1:00:45: Use this word instead of “ultimatum” when it’s time for that. Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are talking about how to protect your peace. You already spend a lot of time trying to be positive - so today I want to remind you that it is just as important to protect your energy from people and situations who suck it dry. You know the ones. The friend who is so n-e-g-a-t-i-v-e, about everything! The rude person at the coffee shop. The colleague who’s always stirring the pot. The toxic dynamic with certain family members. Negative people are like dogs who have just jumped into a muddy pond. They come running up to you smelling all nasty and as soon as they get next to you - boom - they shake all that crap all over you. It’s time to protect yourself. Today’s podcast episode will teach you six super easy science-backed strategies to help you create an impenetrable force field against bad energy (and muddy dogs). You can’t allow that crap to get on you - because your positive life force deserves your protection! And today I’m teaching you how. Force fields up! Positive energy out! Because that, my friend, is something to feel great about! Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: Jumping right in with Veronica’s question about emails that ruin her day. 3:50: You probably have your own stories of entitlement like this one. 7:30: This technique I use when somebody’s mood is getting all over me. 9:15: The “snow globe” works best when you’re getting attitude. 12:30: I know this about people when they explode into a tantrum. 14:30: Science explains why our bodies stress when we’re around bad moods. 17:20: Work in a toxic environment? You have these two choices. 22:40: Dealing with a curmudgeon? I got you. Use the law of reciprocity. 26:00: Here’s how I melted the ice when I became a legal analyst with CNN. 29:30: Gossip is bad for your brain and body. Here’s why. 31:30: Here’s the #1 strategy to stop your gossip today. 33:30: Once you see triangulation, you’ll look at your relationships differently. 36:00: This one simple strategy can brighten someone’s day right now. Have you been betrayed? Listen to “What to do when you’ve been cheated on.” Need a confidence boost? Here’s your “Confidence Toolkit.” Disclaimer

In today’s episode, I’m finally answering the #1 personal question that I get asked: What’s the story behind my tattoo on my right wrist? Pull up a seat to laugh along with us as Chris and I share our tattoo adventure - complete with anxiety, jealousy, intention, love, a huge mistake on my part, and the most incredible moments of synchronicity. But it’s not just a story; there’s a much more profound topic we are discussing today. Because tattoos aren’t really about tattoos. They are an example of a powerful, positive force that habit researchers call an “environmental trigger.” They’re also an example of another tool that you can use to create a more powerful and resilient mindset. Because a lot of tattoos are also “meaningful mantras.” Today, you will learn how to create and use positive triggers and meaningful mantras to improve your life and to remind you of either a deeper purpose or the values you want to live by. This goes way beyond etching ink onto your body. By the end of this episode, you’ll not only be inspired to create your own meaningful mantra, you will have several specific examples of how you can create a positive environmental trigger using things you have around your house. One thing’s for sure, this episode will leave a lasting impression. 😄 Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 6:00: I’m answering this personal question so many of you have been asking. 8:30: Chris shares his powerful story for the tattoo he etched on his forearm. 12:00: The inspiration for my own tattoo came from this. 15:00: You won’t believe what happened on our 15th wedding anniversary. 18:00: Here’s how I beat myself up while Chris was getting his tattoo. 19:00: You might know this already, but a tattoo isn’t just a tattoo. 21:00: I just love the synchronicity behind this entire tattoo event. 24:30: Chris’s tattoo has become a lifeline for him, especially now. 30:30: Rule #1: a mantra will only work for you if you have this first. 32:15: Need an idea for your own mantra? I’ve got a bunch of them for you. 34:30: Here’s how to figure out your own powerful mantra. 36:30: This is what scientists think about why tattoos are so powerful. 38:15: Here’s what Chris did that gets him emotional every time he sees it. 41:00: Are you a busy mom? Then this mantra might work for you. 42:40: Maybe you need to shift your thinking about a mantra this way. Learn more about “How & Why Synchronicity Can Improve Your Life.” Want more about finding your purpose? “Stop Searching and Do This Instead.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re learning how to speak up for yourself and make sure that you are heard. Whether you want to be more influential and visible at work or there’s a hard conversation that you’ve been avoiding with a family member, this episode will empower you to have a breakthrough. Most of us have never been taught the skills we need to have challenging conversations or to better advocate for our needs. The good news is that these are skills, and you are going to learn them in a very entertaining and relatable format today. You’re invited to listen in on multiple coaching sessions with listeners just like you and me who are struggling to find the words or the courage to say what needs to be said. So today I’m unpacking my formula, step by step, for handling challenging conversations. This is an excellent episode to send to people in your life who you really wish saw their own value and worth and could communicate it better. I can’t wait to hear how these very clear steps have helped you have those conversations you’ve been putting off and to show up differently at work and school. Xo Mel Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Listen to Claudia’s question about how to set boundaries in friendships. 5:30: Here are 3 reasons why we avoid difficult conversations in the first place. 14:40: Do you have a friend who criticizes you? Listen to this. 17:30: Make sure you are ready with THIS before you start your conversation. 19:45: This is a prime example of a time when I was being a crappy friend. 23:30: Here’s what you should assume before you have a conversation. 25:30: Never do this or you’ll put the other person on the defensive. 26:45: If you can, PLEASE have your conversation this way. 30:40: Here’s my favorite visual when it’s my turn to listen. 33:40: Do you have to communicate with an ex? Listen to Erica. 35:50: You’ve got to learn how to “gray rock” when dealing with difficult people. 36:40: See the petty people in this ridiculous way and it will help! 39:30: Like it or not, you have to have this conversation for your kids’ sake. 40:30: Here is what anger and pettiness actually is. 41:15: One of two things will happen when you handle conversations like this. 43:30: How do you handle combative people in your life? Listen to Candace. 46:00: Here’s what a person with anxious attachment needs to hear from you. 49:00: Need to have a conversation with someone who’s triggered easily? Is it time to let go of your relationship? If so, then listen to “How to Let Go.” Learn about “The 4 Attachment Styles for Healthy Relationships.” Disclaimer

I made you an appointment with one of the world’s leading doctors in functional medicine. Dr. Mark Hyman has written an incredible 14 (!!!) New York Times best sellers. He is the founder and director of The UltraWellness Center, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. His latest book, Young Forever, teaches you science-backed, actionable steps to slow down the aging process and even reverse disease. An appointment like this would cost $$$ in person, but today, it’s free for you. Seriously, you will be floored by what you hear. No matter how old you are, you have more control over your health than you may think, and it’s never too early or too late to start making simple yet profound changes. Having trouble sleeping? We've got you. Brain fog and headaches messing up your day? Check. Low energy? We hear you. Anxiety and ADHD running your life? We’re covering that too. In this episode, we are breaking everything down point by point so that you get the specific, actionable steps you need to start changing your life in real time. Grab a notebook because the doctor is in and he will see you now. Get ready to take charge of your health like never before. Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 9:30: Food is not just food; here’s what it becomes once you eat it. 12:30: So what’s the connection between gut health and overall health? 14:45: What exactly is inflammation and what’s causing it? 16:30: Okay, so then what does a healthy gut look like? 19:30: Put these foods on your plate for 10 days and see what happens. 23:30: The big fat lie we’re being fed every day. 25:30: Can changing my gut heal my anxiety? 27:15: This simple tool will improve digestion and calm your nerves. 28:30: Phenomenal story of ADHD that was healed in two months. 31:30: The difference between two main types of allergies. 34:00: Holy sh*t! What Dr. Hyman said that reminded me of Oakley. 37:45: The 5 major things in your life that cause inflammation. 40:00: Simple tips to help you start sleeping better. 42:40: If we could cure this, we’d extend our lives by more than 7 years. 44:45: These are the supplements you and I should be taking. 48:15: Here’s what causes your body to dump too much magnesium. 50:50: Trouble with your hormones? You need to hear this. 55:00: Do this if you want a clear picture of your health. 59:45: What probiotics help reset your gut? Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Start your day off with focus using “A Toolkit for the Perfect Morning Routine.” Here are more “Simple Ways to Improve Your Brain Health.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are tackling overwhelm together as I coach five listeners just like you who are tired of feeling so stressed. I promise this will be helpful, fun, and full of powerful tools you can put to use immediately. You need that because you’re drowning in your to-do lists, taking care of everyone else but yourself, and you’re saying yes to every commitment that enters your inbox. That’s why simple solutions are the answer. And I need these solutions too. I feel like my to-do list is overflowing and the demands are piling up. But that’s okay, because with The Mel Robbins Podcast, you get to show up exactly as you are. And today, we will start breaking down the two types of overwhelm so you can understand exactly what it is you’re dealing with. But we don’t stop there. You’re also getting three simple but profound strategies to help you eliminate the overwhelm from your life. So that you start feeling energized again. And I so want that for you. Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: If you’re a parent or caregiver, you’ll recognize yourself in Laura’s question. 8:00: Knowing the two types of overwhelm has profoundly impacted my life. 9:00: What my talk show mentor taught me that I’ll never forget. 11:45: When it comes to dealing with legitimate overwhelm, start here. 14:45: Can you have a morning routine when your life is overwhelmed? 17:00: When life seems insanely busy, you have to stop telling yourself this lie. 18:00: Here’s my #1 strategy for dealing with overwhelm. 23:30: Are you someone who says yes to everything? Then this is for you. 28:40: The Rule of Three saves me every time. 32:35: This truth about procrastination will make you see it in a whole new way. 38:15: Procrastinating on paying your bills? You need to listen to Michelle. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Don’t know how to say no? Listen to “Start Putting Yourself First.” And I know you will like “The Only Way to Stop Procrastinating.” Disclaimer

In this episode, we are digging into betrayal and learning how to get your power back after someone shatters your trust. It’s happened to me and I know it’s happened to you, too. Maybe someone cheated on you. Maybe someone stole from you in business. Perhaps it was a friend who stabbed you in the back. It’s painful. You might not be sure how to confront that person, or if it’s even worth it. Or if you did confront them, they may have denied and deflected, making you feel like something was wrong with you. Well today I’m using my own experiences with betrayal to coach Sonia and Jenn - and you - through this. You always have options, and whether you believe it or not, you can get your power back. Today’s episode will help you heal, change your perspective, and equip you with the tools you need to land on your feet and be smarter, more open and able to create healthier relationships, partnerships, and friendships in the future. You deserve that. Buckle up, because your friend Mel is hitting you between the eyes with some hard earned wisdom and tough love today. Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:30: I was betrayed by someone in my business and this is what I learned. 4:12: Sonia asks her question about a painful betrayal. 5:15: Should you confront this person? Ask yourself this first. 11:40: You don’t need to have this in order to feel closure with someone. 14:20: Here’s how to have a conversation with someone who betrayed you. 16:00: Jenn reveals how her painful betrayal has changed her. 17:30: This is the hardest part of betrayal to grasp. Please play on repeat. 19:20: Here is what you’re actually grieving after you’ve been betrayed. 26:45: You need to change your story of betrayal. Here’s how. 28:30: Trying to work through betrayal with someone you love? Listen to this. 34:40: Here is what the experts say about affairs. 39:45: The advice from Jenn that you need to hear if you’ve just been betrayed. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Here is Betrayal 101: “3 Lessons From One of the Hardest Years of My Life.” When it’s time to do this, listen to “How to Let Go.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you and I are getting intentional about your happiness. Happiness is misunderstood. Fortunately, there’s a ton of research that explains why it can be so elusive and, even better, HOW you can create a happier life, starting today. Our conversation about happiness begins with breaking down the two types of happiness and why it’s important for you to include both in your life. You’ll also learn four practical takeaways that research says are key for cultivating more happiness in your daily life. I love this episode, and I can’t wait for you to experience it! I am bringing the science and the strategies, and I have a phenomenal metaphor to share with you that will forever change the way you view happiness. You’re not only going to learn what to do; you’re going to experience several listeners just like you who are seeking more happiness and fulfillment in their lives. This is a highly relatable, entertaining, and transformative episode, so don’t miss out. You’ll be happy you joined us. Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to start owning your mornings, join my free Wake Up Challenge. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: Can’t remember the last time you were truly happy? You’re not alone. 5:00: Does this happen to you when you chase happiness? 8:00: What do we mean by happiness, anyway? 8:30: You knew this was coming- my favorite metaphor for happiness! 10:15: Science puts happiness into these two buckets. 14:00: The problem when you’re on a big healing journey and what to do about it. 23:00: Can you feel happy even during the mundane, ordinary days? 24:15: Believe it or not, here’s where you find true happiness. 26:30: This is the single best decision you can make to cultivate happiness. 30:00: This is how your brain reads loneliness because you’re meant to connect. 35:00: Building warm relationships starts here. 37:30: Here’s how I reorganized my own life to stop feeling lonely. 39:50: My mom is a pro at this and research shows it will boost your energy. 44:30: What do you need to know about feeling inner peace? 46:30: Here’s why older people tend to be happier. 48:30: Three surprising ways to actually invite more peace in your life. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. This episode pairs well with “You’ll Never Be Truly Happy Until You Start Doing This” Learn how to train your mind with “The Mindset Reset Toolkit.”. Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a trip. I can’t wait to introduce you to my favorite metaphor - a road trip - to inspire you to have more fun and enjoy the ride on this thing called life. After all, life is a journey. And no one’s path is exactly the same. So today, I’m asking you to think about this road trip called life. And I’m going to be asking you to consider some thought-provoking questions: Are you the driver or the passenger of your life? Are you even on the right road? Do you need to pick a new direction? Are you heading where you want to go, but speeding so fast you can’t enjoy the ride? Is it time to update the road trip playlist (in your head)? And most importantly, what lies on the road ahead? Whether you’ve just graduated, you’re an empty nester, or you’re somewhere in between, this episode is the perfect gift to send to absolutely everyone in your life. Change is scary, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m here to help you navigate the road ahead. This episode will empower you to take the wheel in your life. Because you, my friend, have choices. And there’s a million ways to get to where you want to go. The best days of your life are ahead. I believe that, and after you embrace the opportunity of this road trip called life, you’ll believe it too! Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to start owning your mornings, join my free Wake Up Challenge. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:00: You’re often asking me about my career history, well here it is! 3:00: What does reinvention mean anyway? 6:00: The #1 piece of advice to remember before you reinvent your life. 8:45: 90% of the questions coming into my inbox are about this. 9:40: This is my favorite metaphor when it comes to demystifying life’s journey. 12:45: When you are stuck or you’re going through hell, do this first. 14:15: What happens when life doesn't go the way you expected it to? 17:30: When sh*t happens in your life, please don’t do this. 18:30: Embrace these two truths about life, you’ll tap into your power. 20:30: Do this activity to start loving the most important person in your life. 22:00: What do you do when your life feels “blah” and uninspiring? 26:45: Don’t miss these science-backed steps to create more excitement! 31:45: I texted this study from Laura Vanderkam to all my parent friends. 35:30: Your relationship to time is always going to be about this. 36:15: This study with university students doesn’t make sense logically. 40:00: Denise was thinking about this for 20 YEARS; listen to what happened. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Want more help with your dreams? Listen to “Your Dreams Are Not a Joke” and “Goal-Setting Toolkit.” Disclaimer

In this episode, you are getting a brand new definition of confidence. This definition is based on research studies on how confidence is built. Confidence is not what you think it is. It is not a personality trait you’re born with, and it’s not reserved only for extroverts. Confidence is a skill that anyone can master. And today is the perfect day for you to start. You and I are breaking down the science together, and you’re invited to join in as I coach several listeners who are struggling with self-doubt. By the time this episode is done, you will not only have a brand new definition of confidence, but you will also know how to put that definition to use to start building unstoppable confidence in your own life. Confidence is your birthright. You can’t lose it; you just lost your connection to it. Let’s get that back. If you are willing to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other, you, my friend, will not only be practicing and building confidence, but over time you’ll start feeling more confident too. Xo Mel Check out research and other resources at melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:00: The question Heather asked about confidence that so many of you have. 3:50: Honestly, here’s what happens when you have more confidence. 6:00: This is a “doing podcast," so here’s your first assignment. 8:30: This is what you and I were getting wrong about confidence. Until now. 8:45: Your new definition of confidence that embodies the research. 13:45: Here is one of the simplest and yet profound reasons for my success. 14:40: Did you happen to catch my 21-minute panic attack on TEDx? 16:50: Neuroscience says it gets easier to feel confident when you do this. 21:40: Feeling like an imposter? Great! Here’s why. 23:30: Alex’s question led us to talk about Myth #1 about confidence. 24:20: Here’s a surprising fact about confidence. 25:55: Myth #2 about confidence needs to be laid to rest. 27:00: Telling yourself that you lost your confidence? Then listen to Myth #3. 28:10: I’ve loved this TED Talk for years. 29:00: Use tool #1 to interrupt your self-doubt and do what you’re afraid of.. 31:25: Confidence does not come before action; THIS does. 31:00: There are two types of people when it comes to action. Which are you? 33:30: Rule #2 is fun; research says it’s the fastest way to create new habits. 35:45: Rule #3 is absolutely essential if you want to build confidence. 38:00: Rule #4 is what I tell myself every time I’m about to do something scary. 40:50: I don’t want to come to the end of my life feeling this. 42:45: If you’re willing to feel this way, you’re guaranteed to keep growing. 44:15: Do you like this person you’re spending your life with? 46:00: Be careful who you give your number one commodity away to. 49:30: Ultimately, here’s why you’re not feeling confident. Now change that. 51:00: This is the hard truth about life that you need to hear. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to wake up your confidence. Disclaimer

This is an episode about how to face the things that you’re scared to admit, or as in the case of my guest today, have never publicly spoken about. Today, you and I are going on a healing journey so that you can put the past where it belongs: in the rearview mirror. You deserve healing. It’s the only pathway for experiencing true peace, happiness, and the greatness you’re capable of. So, I’m introducing you to a friend of mine who had some serious sh*t to face and has spent the last several years addressing the things that used to drag him down. Do not miss this deeply personal conversation. It is profound. It is relevant to your life and packed with so much wisdom. And we jump right in. There are so many mic-drop moments, it would be hard for me to pick just one, because my guest today was so unguarded and generous. You may know him, but you’ve never heard him like this before. I’m talking about Lewis Howes, host of the award-winning podcast, The School of Greatness, which just celebrated its 10-year anniversary and has over 500 million downloads. His brand new book, The Greatness Mindset, teaches you how to discover your own unique gifts and talents, but more importantly, how to do the work to heal. And look, this conversation is “unguarded” and covers sensitive topics (particularly perhaps for the men in your life). So if this isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode. I cannot wait to hear your favorite and most meaningful parts of this unforgettable conversation with Lewis. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: After all the work he’s done, how does Lewis define greatness? 4:50: If you’re drowning emotionally, here’s what to do. 6:00: One of the most profound ways to start accepting yourself. 8:00: If you were bullied or didn’t do well in school, you’ll relate to this. 13:00: Almost all of us have an identity crisis at some point in our lives. 14:43: Here’s what happens when success never feels fulfilling. 15:40: What does it feel like to be “at peace”? 19:30: Listen to Lewis describe the surprising places he felt his past trauma. 21:00: Here’s how Lewis came to terms with being dyslexic. 23:40: If you haven’t healed trauma, here’s how it can come out in your day to day life. 28:20: Lewis describes the first time he shared his trauma out loud. 37:00: No matter what you do, you don’t feel like you’re enough. Here’s what to do. 37:35: Here’s what’s incredible about seeing your own value. 40:30: Lewis started a podcast when podcasts were not really a thing. This is how it began. 42:30: The wake up moment that led to The School of Greatness. 45:15: Do this when you want to change your career or start a business. 46:30: I love this way of thinking about winning. 48:30: Out of hundreds, this is the interview guest that had the most impact. 50:30: Lewis only found real love after doing this first. 53:00: What does it mean to no longer abandon yourself? 54:00: Most men struggle with this because they were never taught how. 56:30: The powerful words Lewis said at the start of his current relationship. 58:00: The moment in Lewis’ therapy that changed everything. 60:00: The surprising place where Lewis found men who felt emotionally free. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Disclaimer

In this episode, you are going to learn how to put yourself first. Which means you and I are having a conversation about people-pleasing. You know you do it. I do it, too. In fact, unless you're a narcissistic jerk (and you’re not if you’re listening to these podcast episodes), we are all people-pleasers to some extent. Being a people-pleaser is a coping mechanism and it is destroying your energy, your time, your dreams, and your sanity. Every time you say yes to something you don’t really want to do, you’re saying no to yourself. Today, we’re changing that in a surprising way. First, you’ll become aware of when and why you do it. Second, you’ll learn the science-backed tools you need to break the habit of always putting other people’s needs before your own. Third, you and I are going to have a talk about guilt, because when you start saying no, one thing I can guarantee is that you’ll feel guilty about it. I used to, too. I don’t anymore. And I’ll explain how you can handle the guilt and still put yourself first. One of the critical steps to creating a life you love is learning how to say yes to what matters to you and no to what doesn’t. This is a big topic; there are a lot of surprising layers. So I can’t wait for you to apply these relatable and easy strategies to your life and to hear about your breakthroughs. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:50: What the heck IS people-pleasing anyway? (4 takeaways you may have not heard) 5:12: I bet you can relate to Janet who learned this message as a kid. 6:00: Let’s just get the bad news about guilt out of the way. 7:15: Because here is some good news about guilt! 9:00: What does a pool table have to do with people-pleasing? 14:50: I still cringe when I think of this phone call with my father. 18:45: Here’s how a pool table can double as a desk 😂 22:10: What happens when your friends don’t like the “new you”? 24:45: At the heart of people-pleasing is this. 26:00: This research explains why we avoid discomfort. 27:16: Think people-pleasing is about others? Think again. 28:00: The surprising advice for how to handle disappointment from others. 31:50: What if your lifestyle is now different from your friends? 34:30: Here’s where to find friends who get you. 35:10: Please stop looking here for validation as you change your life. 37:50: Are you sure you know when you’re being authentic? 40:00: Do this to start figuring out who you really are. 42:00: Do this next time you’re asked to do something you don’t want to do. 47:00: Here’s how my friend Amy reacted when I had to bail on her at dinner in Vegas. 48:50: This is what happens every time you start to say no. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge. Disclaimer

In this episode, I’m on a mission to open your eyes to new possibilities. What do you really want from your life? And how can you reimagine your next career move to help you fulfill it? If you’re feeling stuck in a job you hate, were just laid off or fired, just graduated, or you have no idea what you want to do with your life, this episode is my gift to you. I wanted to do something to help you gain the clarity and courage that you need to make a big change when you’re feeling uncertain. So I’ve arranged for you to meet with one of the best experts on the planet for a zero cost masterclass and coaching session on getting clear on your next career move, Amy Porterfield. Her new book, Two Weeks Notice, is the playbook for how you build a successful side hustle or business with zero prior experience. Amy’s taught more than 50,000 people just like you how to go from dreading their job to designing the life and work they’ve dreamed about. Today Amy is coaching you, and when you’re done listening to our conversation, you’ll not only be inspired, but you’ll also have the tactical next steps to take. And, if you’ve ever quietly dreamt of having your own business, my mission today is to pour gasoline on that fire. After you listen, you’ll think differently about what you’re capable of, and you’ll get a taste of what COULD be. I always say you are one decision away from the rest of your life. If you’re ready to design a life you love waking up to, we’re about to teach you how. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:13: What you’ll learn today and why you don’t want to miss this episode. 4:00: Laid off or in a job you hate? Here’s what you need to know right now 8:00: Amy’s wake up call moment – and what you can learn from it. 11:30: Have you ever felt there was something else you were supposed to do? 13:15: Jealousy is a good thing when it does this for you. 22:30: Don’t know what to do next? Start with the Sweet Spot Formula. 26:15: Adopt this mentality and you’ll start leveling up in all areas of your life. 31:30: If you want to be your own boss, start doing this. 32:00: My #1 pro tip to get a free education. 34:00: Ok, but what do you do if you don’t have a lot of money? 35:30: Here’s what happens to you once you take action. 38:30: Think you’re too old to be your own boss? Listen to this story. 44:50: My top two tips when it comes to feeling more confident. 47:00: Afraid of others judging you? Here’s how you handle that. 50:15: The power of your “starter idea” Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to start beating procrastination from the second your alarm goes off. Disclaimer

In this episode, we’re attacking procrastination head on – using science. Just think about how many hours, or heck YEARS, you have wasted thinking about what you needed to do instead of doing it. That ends today. This episode is packed with a simple, research-backed method to understanding why you procrastinate (it’s not what you think) and what researchers claim is the best way of tackling it. I predict this episode will be one of the most shared this year because procrastination kills more dreams than fear ever does. Take a listen to this episode, and I will give you something priceless in return: more time. Imagine having hours to move closer to your dreams, hours to spend with your family, hours to move your body or read that novel, or hell, hours to do whatever the hell you want because you deserve it. In this episode, we cover everything from micro-procrastinating to avoiding the really important stuff. And as always, I am armed with research and simple takeaways that work. Specifically, you’ll learn 4 critical takeaways to apply to your life immediately, along with a science-backed 3-step technique to break free from your procrastination habit. Whether you are the captain of procrastination like I used to be, or you are just tired of wasting so much time scrolling on your phone, this toolkit is my zero-cost gift to you. Nothing is more important than taking control of your time, so hit play and I’ll lead the way to ending that vicious cycle you feel stuck in. Don’t procrastinate on listening to this episode. You deserve to understand why you're resisting parts of your life so that starting today, you can level up and get more out of it. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:05: Takeaway #1: Please stop labeling yourself as this. 4:00: Takeaway #2: Two kinds of procrastination; which one are you doing? 6:00: If you can’t do what you need to get done… you’re normal. 8:45: Believe it or not, this is the #1 task most of us procrastinate on. 10:15: Takeaway #3: You are not stuck being a procrastinator. 12:10: Takeaway #4: This is actually what’s behind your procrastination. 13:00: Procrastination defined in a way you’ve never heard before. 19:00: Comfortable doesn’t mean you LIKE where you are. 24:55: Do this when you catch yourself procrastinating. 25:40: What the world’s leading expert found through his research on procrastination. 29:35: The best question to ask yourself next time you catch yourself procrastinating. 33:00: The #1 science-backed hack to break your procrastination habit. 35:00: Your problem is not that you can’t; it’s that you’ve been trapped. 37:50: You have to do THIS before you start believing in yourself. Want me to answer your question on the podcast? Submit it here. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Sign up for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge to start beating procrastination from the second your alarm goes off. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re invited to sit in on a really personal and raw conversation with our 17-year-old son, Oakley. Whether you experience anxiety yourself or you’re just worried about someone you love who does, this episode is a powerful gift from my family to you. What Oakley shares based on his personal experience is life-changing. You will hear Oakley describe two periods of anxiety and some pretty scary and overwhelming thoughts that rose up freshman and sophomore years of high school. I am sharing this with you because Oakley is not alone in what he experienced. According to the CDC’s most recent data, anxiety in teens and adults continues to rise, with nearly half surveyed reporting persistent feelings of hopelessness. Whether you’re an adult or a teen, depression and anxiety are two of those mental health conditions that leave you feeling isolated from everyone because it can seem like you’re the only one having these kinds of overwhelming thoughts. Today, in real-time, Oakley shines a light on what he experienced and how he worked through it. And don’t worry, this isn’t a downer. In typical Oakley fashion, he has me laughing as much as I was sighing. Two really important things come out of this conversation: #1: You get an inside view of what anxiety can look and feel like, and #2, you get to learn about the healing process Oakley engaged in with family, a therapist, his doctor, and medication to work his way through it and back to a clear, confident, and happy state of mind. I want to be clear. Oakley has chosen to share his own personal experience. With his therapist’s help, Oak feels more connected and empowered to ride the ups and downs of life and create deeper meaning in his life. And that’s what we want for you. So many of you write in to thank us for sharing these conversations with my adult kids because they help you open up conversations. Well, today’s conversation is meant to serve the same purpose. You may want to listen to this with people you love. And please, share this. Share it with teachers, coaches, nieces, nephews, and parents who you know could use these insights. Too many of us try to deal with anxiety on our own. Let Oakley inspire you and the people you love to open up. You are not weird or messed up if you have fleeting dark thoughts, but if those thoughts persist, please reach out to a therapist, family, or friends. You don’t have to go through this alone. And if this topic is not for you right now, bookmark this episode and come back to it at another time. But it is a deeply powerful one you won’t want to miss. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:20: Is your loved one resistant to therapy? Here’s what to do. 4:15: My son schooled me on therapy and why I should have done it for myself sooner. 6:30: I had no idea he was feeling this way. 8:40: Oakley describes his panic attack and dark thoughts. 14:00: Here’s why Oakley didn’t share his feelings with us. 19:30: This is what everyone has to know about big, scary thoughts. 23:15: Here’s what Oakley suggests for those struggling. 28:00: Oakley’s existential crisis that led to his breakdown. 32:30: My panic attacks and anxiety felt like this. 33:30: Here’s what we did to support Oakley. 34:40: The John Mayer song that had a powerful impact on Oakley. 46:45: Here’s where Oakley is now that he’s been working with his therapist. 53:00: Two profound quotes that really resonate. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources. Disclaimer

In this episode, we’re discussing morning routines. This episode is very tactical and covers 5 simple but essential components of a perfect morning routine. I’m really glad that you’re taking this topic seriously because every successful person you admire is serious about their mornings. I sure am. How you set up your day is typically how it ends up. I love my morning routine so much that I call it the Million Dollar Morning, because it makes me feel like a million bucks for the rest of my day – and it creates a level of discipline in my life that helps me make millions of dollars too. But let me be clear: I am not naturally a morning person. And if that’s been your excuse, my mission is to change your mind. If you already have a morning routine, listen to this episode to take it up a notch. Xo Mel Sign up today for my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge so you can start your own Million Dollar Morning routine tomorrow. Once you finish listening, be sure to check out the episode “The #1 Hack for Being More Productive Tomorrow” to learn why your morning routine begins the night before. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:45: What is behavioral activation and how can it help you? 4:50: How the first decision of your day is like the lead domino in a run. 7:30: Feeling bad about your morning routine? Don’t. Here’s mine. 8:20: Let’s talk about procrastination in the morning. 12:10: I can relate if the heaviness of the morning overwhelms you. 14:30: Morning routines are boring. 16:30: Rule #1 of your brand new rockstar morning routine. 17:10: Using The 5 Second Rule in your morning routine. 21:05: The biggest and best question to ask yourself about getting up. 23:00: Snooze Button Blues: the science behind why you shouldn’t snooze. 26:20: The pep talk you need: what your alarm really means. 27:00: Rule #2 will train you to start cleaning up life’s messes right off the bat. 29:45: Rule #3 is my favorite simple habit that reminds me I’m a winner. 34:00: Are you making this mistake in the bedroom? 36:10: Rule #4 requires only 10 minutes to make a difference to your health. 37:00: Do this in the morning and you’ll sleep better at night. 38:00: Rule #5 The science-backed secret to making progress every day. Visit www.melrobbins.com/podcast for additional resources to help you go deeper. Disclaimer

Today’s episode is a masterclass on finding your purpose, listening to your gut, and never giving up (no matter what other people say). So many of you write in asking for advice about purpose that I’ve decided to introduce you to a guest whose life story is the epitome of purpose. You’re about to meet a woman who went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a billion-dollar product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin. It was such a success that L'Oréal recently bought her company for $1.2 billion dollars. I’m talking about none other than Jamie Kern Lima, the founder of It Cosmetics. And if you think that her purpose in life was to create a cosmetics company, you’d be wrong. The topic of purpose is essential and misunderstood, so today I’ll teach you how to truly find your purpose using Jamie’s inspiring story and tactical tools every step of the way. In fact, her takeaways are so good that I refer to her as the “Professor of Purpose,” because by the end of this episode, you’ll be closer to finding yours. Learn how today. Class is in session with one of the most successful self-made women today. Xo Mel For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:10: Feel like there’s something bigger you’re supposed to do? Jamie did too. 5:30: Like it or not, here’s why your current job is important to your future you. 6:29: Your setbacks are more valuable than you think. 8:30: Jamie nails what “purpose” actually is and why most of us think of it in the wrong way. 12:00: Big takeaway: your steps are ordered exactly as they should be. 15:40: Why Jamie’s 1.2 billion dollar idea almost didn’t happen and the ‘AHA’ moment that changed everything. 18:45: That modern-day beauty movement we love? It was done FIRST by Jamie. 20:20: If you’re feeling stuck, here are the words you need to hear TODAY. 22:00 How do you go from AHA to actually getting started? 28:00: How to face your #1 critic (yourself) and start trusting your gut. 33:10: A profound reframe on the hardships you have experienced. 34:00: Jamie’s story of one of the most painful rejections she ever experienced and the life-changing lesson she learned about intuition. 47:50: The expert advice Jamie defied to instead go with her gut. 53:15: Listen to Jamie’s advice if you have been rejected over and over. 56:30: Here’s the perfect way to frame your true power. 58:20: Stop thinking about purpose in this way. Here’s the truth about finding your purpose. 1:01:15: 2 exercises to help have your own ‘AHA’ moment. 1:04:00: Why going after your dreams is YOUR responsibility. Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. Disclaimer

In this episode, we are talking about the #1 thing you can do to make sure tomorrow is a productive and awesome day. I’m sure you know the importance of a good morning routine. But what you may not know is that a rock-solid morning routine – the kind that kickstarts you and your day for maximum focus and to feel more in control, calm, and like the rockstar that you are… It doesn’t start where you think. If you truly want to own your day, you must first own the night before. That’s right. Hours before you even lay your head on your pillow, your decisions have either set you up for success or they have set you up to fail. Your brain is primed to be the most productive during the first 2-4 hours of the day. That’s why I want you to get serious about how you set yourself up the night before. This episode is packed with research-backed tactics, specific advice, and the four science-backed components of the best evening routine. And this is also one of those tough-love, hit you with the common-sense, friend-to-friend conversations that you know and love from me. Xo Mel Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:30: Here’s where your morning routine should REALLY begin. 2:30: Are you losing your next day by revenge procrastinating? 5:00: Here’s what my evenings used to look like. Can you relate? 10:00: Not getting out of bed with the first alarm? Here’s what you’re telling yourself every time you hit the snooze. 13:40: The way your morning starts is the lead domino for your day. 17:00: The secret to having a great morning is this. 19:30: Rule #1: The 3-2-1 Method that will help you get a great night’s sleep. 21:30: Rule #2: The Mindset Flip. This is how you make your life easier. 22:15: I do this at night so I get to the gym in the morning. 25:45: Rule #3: Feel way more empowered about your day if you do this. 28:15: No more excuses. Do this tonight. 30:00: Rule #4: This is where most of us get our mornings wrong. 33:30: Flip how you think about the alarm and you’ll shift your whole day. 36:40: I feel so strongly about this last hack because you allow the world to steal your attention and you deserve better. 39:15: I got a little worked up here, but it’s because I have regrets. For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast Disclaimer This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy and is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is my passion, however, to bring you free and accessible content that can help you change your life for the better.

In this episode, you and I are getting a masterclass on the topic of love. And it’s not what you think. This is not an episode about relationships – it is an episode about YOUR relationship to love and how you can let more love into your life. My mission with this episode is to inspire you to stop and consider the profound subject of love, how important it is, and why you deserve to feel more love in your daily life. If you have felt alone or feel like your relationships are on autopilot, this episode is a real gift. I am also excited because as you listen to this episode, I get to introduce you to someone I really love. He and his wife are very dear friends of ours and he just finished a two-year-long research project on the topic of love. This friend of mine is also a former monk with a tender heart and a global fanbase. His sage counsel on life is sought after by celebrities, world leaders, professional athletes, and the most successful artists in the world. I’m talking about none other than my friend, Jay Shetty. He’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Like a Monk, and his latest book is 8 Rules of Love. Climb into your favorite chair and get ready for a wild ride. I threw out the talking points from Jay’s PR team and just went for it. I love this episode because Jay delivered. He gets personal and reveals more about his own experience and mistakes with love than ever before. This is a must listen and a must share. Listen as a family. Listen with friends. Listen as a couple. Listen by yourself. Love is what we need. And hearing two dear friends go deep on the topic will make your heart swell. Even an old dog like me learned a few new tricks about how I can experience more love and be more loving in my life ❤️ Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:40: Hear Jay’s 3-part definition of love I’d never heard that is so spot on. 4:30: According to research, this is how many hours you need to spend to make a casual friend, a good friend, and a great friend. 6:40: Are you doing this with your partner? Jay says that’s not love. 8:00: Okay wow, here’s where I realize I’m not doing something for my husband, Chris, that I should be doing. 11:15: If your relationship is new, be careful you don’t do this. 13:40: Why do we chase relationships in order to feel worthy? 18:15: Rule #1 for finding love. 19:50: What research shows will happen if you enter a relationship simply because you’re afraid of being alone. 21:00: Hear Jay in a rare moment where he talks about his childhood trauma. 27:00: Here’s why you keep dating the same kind of person over and over. 29:00 One simple exercise you can do today to start building a healthy relationship. 31:30: Jay leads us through a powerful meditation. 38:15: There are four phases of love: hear them unpacked and explained. 40:00:  Dating someone new? Then you need to know about both the “halo effect” and the “context effect.” 43:30: Jay’s best piece of advice if you want that new relationship to last. 47:00: Here’s Jay’s Rule #4 of love and why it’s my favorite. 53:30: Is someone caring for you or controlling you? Here’s how to tell. 55:00: What you might be doing in your relationship that’s hurting it. 57:30: Here’s what I disagreed with Jay about. 59:30: What is the purpose of love in your life? Jay answers. Want to go deeper into the topic of relationships? Listen to the last episode, “I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work.” Disclaimer

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships. Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world. I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work. I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that. In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist. Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better. In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband. No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better. Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you. About halfway through, another listener asks, “What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?” In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on. Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time. 3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage. 6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids” 8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening. 15:00: Would I be better off without my husband? 18:15: This is the only way relationships work out. 24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage. 28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship. 37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters. 43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you? Disclaimer

In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult. I want to introduce you to a woman who has had a really big impact on my own healing. She is the renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Nicole LePera, who you may also know as The Holistic Psychologist. Today, Dr. LePera will normalize the common experience of having few memories from childhood. This is something that I struggled with silently. I personally have very few memories from my childhood, and I assumed there was something wrong with me. It was only when I started sharing about this lack of memories online that I realized I wasn’t the only person who can’t reminisce about their past. I now understand why this happens. I also know there is nothing wrong with me. And if you have very few memories from your childhood, there’s nothing wrong with you either. Today, we are digging into parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult. The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered, but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do. This is one of those episodes that I also know you will be sending to family, friends, and siblings because there is so much empowering information here. I personally made all three of our kids listen because I both recognize as a daughter how my childhood impacted me – and as a mom, I’m also very aware that my parenting style has impacted my kids. And, Dr. LePera so beautifully teaches us how to take control of the rest of our lives as adults. Xo Mel PS: After you listen to this one, listen to “Take Control of Your Life: A Toolkit for Healing” if you haven’t yet, because I’m sharing details from the last few years of my healing journey. Plus, there’s a companion workbook to help you go deeper. In this episode, you’ll learn: 3:00: So many of you wrote in about this particular detail of trauma. 8:00: Childhood amnesia – What the heck is that? 9:30: Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories. 11:30: What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?” 15:00: Introducing my friend and world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Nicole LePera. 17:45: What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one? 24:30: Two big reasons why your brain shuts down in childhood. 28:00: Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself? 35:00: What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system? 37:30: Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event? 44:00: Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful. 48:00: Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind. 53:15: Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this. Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

In this episode, I’m making the topic of trauma easier to understand by taking you step by step through my recent revelation that I was struggling with past trauma. I was one of those people who thought I didn’t have trauma. And you may be like that too. But if you have trouble managing emotions, expressing your feelings, dealing with upset, you go on edge easily, you have trouble focusing, or you struggle with anything like anxiety…. This will be very eye opening. The words “trauma” and “nervous system” are thrown around like candy online. I want to share the profound things that I’ve learned about both topics and how I’ve started to address and heal the trauma in my nervous system. This episode is personal, it’s important, and tactical, and most of all – it’s packed with tools you can start using right now. I hope this episode opens your eyes in the way that it did mine, and makes you not only understand this topic – but yourself a little bit better. And, to go deeper, I have a free 9-page workbook for you that serves as a companion to this episode to help you with your own healing. Just click here to access it. And, this episode covers sensitive material, including discussion of trauma and sexual assault. If this topic isn’t for you right now – please skip this episode. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:58: This episode is one of the most important I’ve ever created because of the powerful impact these learnings have had on my life. It will be the same for you. 7:40: What is trauma anyway? 8:40: Do you recognize yourself in these signs of past trauma? 10:00: Getting honest: my personal story. 21:15: What happens to me when I hear the sound of crunchy snow (and how this applies to you). 24:00: Do you have to remember trauma to heal from it? 30:30: If I have little-T trauma, does that mean my parents are to blame? 34:40: This is what your nervous system is (and it’s not what I used to think). 43:15: Here’s why your triggers were helpful then and why they’re not now. 50:00: How can you get yourself out of survival mode and start to focus again? 54:00: The difference between your two nervous systems. 56:30: Six takeaways to help you switch from fight or flight to rest and recovery Disclaimer If you uncover or have a history of trauma, consider enlisting the support of a trained therapist. This podcast episode and the companion workbook are not meant to be a substitute for therapeutic support.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to use simple neuroscience to train your mind to start working for you. The research, tools, and strategies you’ll learn in this episode are from an experience I created and taught to more than 250,000 students called “Mindset Reset.” The fact is, your mindset is critical to your happiness, success, relationships, and fulfillment. Listen to today’s episode and you’ll learn how to train your mind using this easy, science-backed method. By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to use an amazing filter in your brain to reset your mindset. This episode is also packed with takeaways and insights you can apply to your life and one surprisingly fun “brain game” you can play every day (even with your kids) to actively program a more powerful mindset. I can’t wait to share this with you and for you to apply it to your life and share it with the people who matter to you most. Xo Mel For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. This episode, you’ll learn: 4:15: What does “mindset” even mean? 9:00: The truth about why mindset matters. 10:00: Is this just toxic positivity? 16:30: Your brain has a filter. And if you’re not programming it, it’s probably working against you. 26:00: How to beat self-doubt. 31:00: Why you’re not meeting that special someone. 37:00: The fun and simple brain game I play with my daughters. 47:45: What to do when your thoughts and mindset spiral into the negative. 55:00: I want this for you. Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re about to learn how to make your new habits stick. If you’ve struggled to be consistent with behavior change, you’re not alone. It’s easy to talk about habits. It’s a whole different thing to apply the science to your life. You are not the problem. The problem, when it comes to habits, is the lack of systems and hacks that help you stay consistent. There are 5 very specific, simple systems backed by science that you have to have in place if you want to make your new habits stick for good. It doesn’t matter if you’ve already bailed on your New Year’s resolutions or if the only habit you think you’re successful at is failing at habits. I’ve got you. If your treadmill just became the most expensive laundry hanger you’ve ever purchased, then this episode is for you. I’ll say it again: It’s not you; it’s your lack of systems. Stop relying on willpower to get you through. That’s not what you need. The research says you need systems. Today, I’ll teach you 5 essential ones. Let’s go, because your behavior toolkit masterclass series continues. Xo Mel For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. For a free workbook that dives deeper into the topic of habits and helps you apply what you learn, click here. This episode works together with the episode “The Ultimate Toolkit for Creating New Habits.” After you finish this one, check out that episode here. This episode, you’ll learn: 1:36: Why it’s important to understand how to make habits stick 4:50: The 75-day challenge I’ve taken on this year 9:30: The honest conversation you need to have with yourself before any change 13:35: What to do if you don’t even know where to start with habits 15:55: The five systems that will help you finally stick to your habits 24:00: A simple hack from Harvard Business School to help you make better decisions 28:25: The simple trick that helped people be twice as successful at quitting smoking 32:40: The M&M experiment that proves decision fatigue is a real thing 38:24: Why tracking your progress is non-negotiable 49:30: The plan that will save your promises to yourself 51:35: The “keys to the kingdom” – establish this habit and others will follow more easily Disclaimer

In this episode, you’re going to learn exactly what you need to form new habits. Even if you think you already know everything there is to know about habits, you probably still struggle to apply this knowledge and make change stick. And if this topic is brand new to you, don’t worry; I have a way of explaining it that’s fun, and so simple even a 5-month-old puppy can understand it. Just because it’s science doesn’t mean it has to be complicated and boring. When we make change fun and easy to understand, you’re more likely to be successful in applying all of this research. That’s why this episode also comes with a free companion workbook, so that you not only listen and learn, but also go deeper and apply what you’re learning to your own life. You can download that for free at melrobbins.com/habits. I’ll teach you the three critical parts of forming new habits, and together we’ll unpack the brain research that explains why these parts are essential to your habit-making routine. When you’re done listening, you’re going to see that you’re making the same mistake most people make: you’re only focused on one part of forming a habit, and you’re missing the other two. I’m really excited for you to listen, learn, and apply all this knowledge. New habits begin as something you practice, and after applying this over time, they become who you are. Xo Mel Get your free companion download at melrobbins.com/habits. For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 8:00: Why willpower doesn’t work 11:15: Why we struggle with new habits 12:30: What actually is a habit? 15:15: The free gift I have for you 15:50: Why are habits important? 19:50: What the research says about successful people 25:10: What’s getting in the way of your new habits 25:50: Three critical parts to all new habits must have 27:40: Two ways Chris and I set ourselves up to succeed with our habits 32:45: Six types of behavior triggers 38:50 What to do if you want to stop that nightly glass of wine Disclaimer

This is the pep talk you need. Change is hard. Which means you’re going to want to quit or give up. I call those moments F*** It Moments. Today’s episode is a little different because you’re going to hear me get in someone’s face who is about to throw in the towel on a big goal and a promise that she has made. When you hear me coach her, it will be like I’m coaching you. And once you’re done listening, I promise you won’t be saying F*** it, you’ll be saying F*** yes. Xo Mel PS: If you’re frustrated with somebody in your life who keeps calling it quits, let me do the honors and deliver the ass-kicking for you. For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. In this episode, you’ll learn: 2:55: Why I started to cry when it came time to record this episode 6:22: The one stupid thing that sent me spiraling into anxiety 10:40: What Chris told me when I was ready to quit that made all the difference 11:55: What I especially want you to know about you and these F-It moments 12:50: Listen in as I coach a woman through her own F** It moment 32:15: What triggers most addictive behaviors 35:40: What’s REALLY a F*** It moment? 37:55: Why F-It moments are actually good 38:35: How to process your F*** It moment 40:05: One thing I want you to hear loud and clear about screwing up Disclaimer

This episode will help you set the right goals for you. Goals matter. They make your life easier and they create a sense of purpose and meaning. But most people don’t set goals the right way, which is why they fail before they even start. That’s not going to be you. This episode is a comprehensive toolkit that will help you set the goals that inspire you and make you feel excited about the year ahead. And, it’s part of our month-long series covering the foundational research and topics related to creating a better life. Today, you’re not only going to learn the correct way to set goals according to research, you’re also going to identify 1-3 goals for yourself, and I’ll be doing the same thing right along with you. Have no idea what your goals are or where to even start? Don’t worry; you will by the end of the episode. You’ll apply the latest research every single step of the way. And that’s not all. You can access a free companion workbook at melrobbins.com/goals that will walk you through everything we’re talking about so you can go even deeper into this conversation. Expect your goals to change as you listen to this episode, so don’t worry about doing any of this “right.” By the end of this episode you will have even taken the first steps toward your goal. How cool is that? I can’t wait. Let’s get started. Xo Mel For full show notes, including all research mentioned in the episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast. For a free worksheet that dives deeper into the episode and helps you apply what you learn, click here. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:15: How do I set goals the right way? 2:56: Why setting goals is so important: the truth from research 8:24: The exciting new research about goals from Dr. Birkman that you need to know 10:56: My three goals for 2023 13:05: I’m answering your top question about goals 13:27: Four science-backed hacks to use when you’re not sure what your goals are 16:20: Three qualities of the best goals 21:48: Two components of a goal that you’ve got to have in order to achieve it 27:07: What neuroscience says about why your brain needs these two components 31:25: The five mistakes we all make when we set and try to achieve goals 42:41: A powerful question about goals from Columbia University researchers that you should ask yourself 44:57: Why setting a “high-low range goal” will make you more successful 50:33: The most important thing you should do once you set a goal 53:06: Here’s the crazy irony about achieving your goals Disclaimer

I want this year to be the best year of your life. So we’re going to talk about the one habit that researchers say has the biggest, overall impact on the quality of your life. And that habit is learning to be kind and loving to yourself. We all know we need to learn how to love ourselves, but no one has taught you HOW. Until now. In this episode, I am teaching you how to start loving yourself with a simple habit that you can add to your morning routine. I’ve got loads of research to prove why this habit matters and how it will change your life. And bring your Kleenex. Today I’m not only answering questions from some listeners about self-love, I also invited my husband, Chris, to come on and explain why he thought this habit was so stupid when I first shared it with him. The conversation took a turn that I was not expecting. It gets very personal and both Chris and I end up crying. He shares details about a period of his life where the shame and sense of failure were so palpable that he couldn’t even look himself in the mirror. I’m so proud of him, and moved by his vulnerability. This is an episode every man, boy, or anyone who identifies as male needs to hear. It’s not just we women who struggle with self-love; the men in your life are struggling, too. That’s why we all need to be practicing this habit every single morning. You’re going to learn that love is not something you feel; it’s something you must demonstrate. And that’s what I’m going to teach you to do. You’ll want to listen until the very end, because you’ll meet a woman whose entire life trajectory changed by simply trying this habit once. Want to learn more? All of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:50 The habit that has changed the lives of thousands of people 3:50 HOW do I love myself? 4:28 Why it’s so hard to love yourself 5:11 The secret to self-love 6:04 What the science says about why you should do this after brushing your teeth 7:05 50% of people find it impossible to do this 9:30 Learn about neurobics and how it helps you learn a new habit faster. 12:22 The dopamine hit that boosts your mood 14:09 What you tell yourself every time you do this one habit 15:25 One study about how this habit creates winning teams 16:40 How this habit helped kids perform better and work longer 20:48 Why my husband, Chris, thought this habit was ridiculous at first 22:20 The profound insight Chris had when he took the 5-day challenge 25:19 Why you’re going to want to share this with the men in your life 25:55 When in his life Chris started to feel like a failure 34:00 What all men struggle with 36:39 What Chris has to say to all the men out there 40:20 Why I sign off every letter and every episode the way I do 45:00 The message from a listener that every skeptic needs to hear For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast To take the High 5 Challenge, go to High5Challenge.com. Get The High 5 Habit book or eBook.

In this episode, I am sharing 8 brand new studies and exciting new research about simple changes supported by science that can help you improve your day to day life, like… How to cut your gym time IN HALF and still get the same benefits. The surprising sound researchers say will boost your mood for EIGHT hours. The research on how mindfulness reduces your anxiety by 30% -  the same as Lexapro. And so much more I’m also joined by Tracey, who leads our research and has helped me produce five #1 Audible Originals and all the science behind it. She’s found the studies; we are breaking them down together, and having a ball as we do. This episode is going to make you smarter and is packed with the tactical, simple, and science-backed tools that I know you love learning on this podcast. Pull up a seat and let’s go. Oh! And one more thing. As always, all of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:13: Why the research studies and science you will learn today matter 4:35: Why you can trust the tools you learn on this podcast 5:56: Research study #1: A simple action that goes a long way 12:32: Research study #2: The way to build strength in just 3 seconds a day 19:25: Research study #3: The one sound that boosts your mood for hours 26:43: Research study #4: A powerful tool for anxiety 31:35: Research study #5: What a study with 20,000 high schoolers tells us about success 36:56: Research study #6: One thing you can do to create lifelong positive memories 44:43: Research study #7: How tiny guilty pleasures can strengthen your relationship with your partner 52:01: Research study #8: The habit with the largest impact on your quality of life For full show notes, including a links to every single study and citation mentioned on today’s episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

Have you ever had one of those years where life seems to punch you in the face? Where one thing after another knocks you down, over and over, until you start to feel like you are never getting back up. Well, that was this past year for me. People I trusted betrayed me. Plus, I was living 150 miles away from my husband and son, alone in Boston during the week for work. I never saw my friends because I was too busy working. I wasn’t exercising. I wasn’t taking care of myself in general. Honestly, I felt really lonely all the time. And looking back at pictures of myself from that time, it’s easy to see all of that in my face. I think we all know that the greatest lessons in life come from the most challenging things that you face. And while it’s true, it’s not easy when you are in the middle of it. This past year taught me 3 invaluable lessons, and today I’m sharing them with you. I know you’re going to nod along because you know these lessons are true. I don’t know why they are so damn hard to learn, but my hope is that by sharing what I struggled through and what I learned from, it will save you the headache and heartache that this year put me through. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:24: The gory details from the hardest year of my life 7:02: Lesson #1 from this year 8:30: The journal prompt that gave me a wake up call 11:43: How to identify the friction in your life and a major warning if you don’t pay attention 15:21: Lesson #2 from this year 16:55: How this podcast almost never came to be 22:36: The epiphany our son Oakley had 27:04: If you’re tired of your excuses… try THIS 28:49: Lesson #3 from this year 32:31: The mental health crisis I experienced this year and what it taught me For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

I’ve got a very special invitation for you today. Grab a spot on the couch next to me and my family here in Southern Vermont. Join our family as our three kids discuss all the parenting mistakes Chris and I made – and the things we did that built trust and brought us all closer. I’m really excited and proud to share this with you, even though there are moments where my kids absolutely school me. They also share wisdom and insights that are so profound, you’ll hear Chris break down and cry. This really isn’t a conversation about parenting at all. It’s about how you create a close and meaningful connection with anyone. So whether you’re wondering how to get closer to your family or your friends, everything we discuss applies to all relationships. This episode goes deep – we cover drinking, drugs, addiction, and what to do when teenagers stop talking to you or someone you love is dating someone that you don’t like. And, since so many of you have written in asking about my approach to parenting after hearing our kids on various episodes of this podcast, I’m also sharing our parenting philosophy. My family is getting real and raw in this discussion, and we’re inviting you to be a part. So join us. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this episode, and one thing you might want to consider is listening to it with your family. I guarantee you, it will spark very interesting discussions. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:32: Why I recorded today’s episode 3:25: Meet the Robbins family 6:02: You keep asking: How are my kids so open with me? 7:30: A frank discussion on drinking 12:33: Why people don’t listen to you 14:10: What Chris and I think the whole point of parenting really is 18:27: Let’s talk about addiction, including groundbreaking new research from Mt. Sinai 25:15: Our #1 piece of advice that will keep people honest with you 30:55: What we mean when we say people in your life are “lie detectors” 33:07: Why showing your feelings to loved ones is so powerful 36:58: How to build connection with anyone 40:52: When you keep repeating patterns you wish you could break 44:44: Why you need to let kids be themselves 50:52: Why you shouldn’t let people bounce from uncomfortable situations 52:39: “I don’t like who my kid is dating” – advice that applies for any relationship 1:01:52: Our #1 piece of advice for you For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

I know you’re busy. Which is why today’s message is the one thing you need to hear right now. I need this message too. We all do. Because there’s only one thing I want you to do this week: NOTHING. That’s right. I want you to do absolutely nothing. No, I’m not smoking anything funny when I say this. I’m dead serious. Hear me out. There is an art and a science to doing nothing, and we need to put it into our daily lives. All this constant doing is impacting your energy, your drive, your stamina, and your ability to be present, which in turn affects the decisions you make and your relationships. Look at it this way. What are you doing right now? Because I bet you’re scrolling through podcast episodes to listen to as you jump on your Peloton, drive to work, fold laundry, organize your desk, or whatever it is you do when you multitask. You and I live in a world that glorifies productivity and accomplishment. The busier we are, the more important we must be. But all that busyness is not making you happier or healthier. In fact, you’re writing to me every day asking how to deal with burnout and overwhelm. And look, I’m not exactly an expert. I struggle with this too, which is why I wanted to talk about it. I can’t even take a freakin’ bath without feeling the urge to answer emails on my phone (and oftentimes, I do). Like you, I have absolutely no idea how to do nothing. But I know I need to learn how to turn off and unplug, even if it’s just for a minute. This episode is the tough love that we all need. And it won’t require you to take a week off from work or be somebody who meditates all day. We’re going to talk about how to create moments of peace in your daily life, no matter how complicated it may seem right now. So whether you’re on vacation, studying for exams, running your own company, raising a family, or you’re in between three jobs, this episode is for all of us. And it’s one you deserve. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 0:12: The only thing you should do this week – and why 10:02: How to remain hopeful when you’re in the trenches and surrounded by high achievers 13:19: The only advice you should be following 15:41: Should you listen to people who don’t understand your life? 17:36: How I handle jealousy 19:25: How to make time for rest when it feels like a guilty pleasure 24:00: How to get out of your head and into the moment 26:40: What you and I will do at 2:13 pm every day 33:29: The difference between laziness and procrastination (and how it applies to you) For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast

I’m checking in on you and me. There's a lot going on in the world right now, and I am still reeling from the news that Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss died from suicide. If you had to ask me to list the 5 most positive people on the planet, The Rock would be #1, and tWitch would be #2. Having lost too many friends and people I love to mental health challenges like depression, addiction, trauma, and hopelessness – all of who died from suicide – I’m just so heavy with emotion. tWitch was beloved by millions for being Ellen DeGeneres’ executive producer, dance partner, and DJ on her talk show. He was a part of people’s lives 5 days a week, for years. He competed on So You Think You Can Dance and he had one of those million-dollar smiles that just lit up every room he walked into. He is followed by millions of people online who love the adorable dances that he, his wife Allison, and his 3 kids do. Seeing such a bright light like tWitch go out so suddenly at the age of 40, with 3 beautiful kids, a huge life, and adoring fans around the world… It just stirred up so much sadness inside of me, and this may be stirring up a lot inside of you. You don’t have to know tWitch personally (I didn’t – I am just a fan) to be profoundly impacted by the news of his death. This may be bringing up experiences of loss from your own life. It may also be reminding you of moments when you were really struggling, which is another reason why I felt the urgency to talk to you today. And I thought, maybe you’re sad too Or having a hard time processing how someone who seemed to “have it all” and “so much talent” could come to a point where this could happen. Or maybe you are going through a tough time yourself. Or maybe you just need a friend to tell you it’s going to be okay and give you a boost. So I wanted to connect. I decided to roll out of bed, get right on the mic, and share what I'm feeling and how I'm thinking about tWitch's death so we can process this together. Please take 14 minutes to listen to this powerful message. I share my thoughts about how to process news like this and I also emphasize something tWitch always said: Be kind. Today, be kind. You never know what another person is going through, so be kind. And always, be kind to yourself. One thing you can do today is reach out to people you love. You never know what it’s going to mean to someone. If you don’t know what to say, you can share this episode. And, if you are in pain right now. PLEASE. There’s a difference between wanting to end the pain you feel, and wanting to end your life. You can end the pain with support and by taking small steps forward every single day. It can and it will get better. Please, if you need help, pick up the phone. You deserve support. Trained volunteers are standing by to help you. Call the National Suicide Hotline, which is 988 in the US. Different languages are available – click here. Or, text HOME to 741-741 for the Crisis Text Line. Thanks for reading this and listening to this episode. And I just wanted to end by saying, I love you and it means more than you know that you are here.

I’ve lived with ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety for most of my life. And I’ve spent the last decade immersed in research around how to improve my mental health, but only recently did I realize there was a big missing piece to the puzzle when it came to being happier, more confident, and more present. That’s taking care of the brain. Your brain is your problem-solver. It’s your memory keeper. It’s a supercomputer. If the physical health of your brain sucks, it’s like having a beer belly with IBS for a brain. If you’re really committed to being a happier and healthier person, it's common sense to keep your brain happy and healthy. But… The science can be complicated and boring. More serotonin and dopamine would be great… but I zone out when I am looking at all the research. That’s why I asked one of the leading experts on brain health to be here today. Dr. Daniel Amen has 40 years of experience as a psychiatrist, 12 New York Times bestselling books, and he’s conducted over 200,000 brain scans, all of which back up the simple tactics he’s about to share with you. Today’s episode is jam-packed with practical information, so you may even want to listen twice. You can make your brain stronger and more resilient. There are specific changes you can make today, including supplements to take, a change to your walking style, a specific breathing technique to reduce anxiety, and more. Dr. Amen will also share the one powerful question he’s been asking himself every single day that keeps his brain strong. He also shares a recipe for a delicious mug of “brain healthy hot chocolate.” I’ll drink to that and a little Brain Health 101. Xo Mel You will learn: 1:34: The results of my brain scan – and a huge finding that was discovered in my husband’s brain scan 9:37: A simple 101 on the brain 13:14: The 3 most important habits that have the biggest impact on brain health 15:41: The exact thing to say to yourself first thing in the morning to improve your brain 16:57: The specific two vitamins that are most important for the health of your brain 19:38: The difference between serotonin and dopamine and how to achieve balance between the two 25:08: How to tell if you have low dopamine & how to increase it 28:55: Why strength training is so important for your overall health 30:21: What cortisol is, why it matters, and how to reduce it 32:03: The one specific breathing exercise that Dr. Amen recommends for an anxious mind 36:06: How to calm a busy brain 39:22: The 3 most important words for mental training 41:27: What to do if you feel chronically tired 43:30: The 5 most important foods for brain health 44:21: How to make brain-healthy hot chocolate 47:06: What a psychiatrist of 40 years would never do because it’s bad for your brain

Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people. It took me years to understand these truths. It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?” I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people. You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your parents have become the older they get. Me too. I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my frustration: It’s not them, it’s me. I’m refusing to accept three things. These things are hard to accept, and they’re true. Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your relationships will be way easier. In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and takeaways that you can put to use immediately. And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too. I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy). Hopefully today’s episode will. Xo Mel Key lessons: 3:12: 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people. 4:33: Rule #1 explained 6:02: How do you deal with people who don’t want to change? 9:00: Why some people can’t change. 12:42: I’m embarrassed to tell you this story. 19:49: Rule #2 explained 20:37: Rule #3 explained 21:44: My “6-month rule” for any complainer 32:03: What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making 40:23: The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here.

Have you ever had such a powerful coincidence happen in your life that you think… This must be a sign. The person sitting next to you at an event turns out to be part of the team you’re interviewing with next week. There is a hummingbird outside your apartment window on move-in day, and your grandmother always said she’d come back as one. You’re sitting in your favorite coffee shop, thinking of someone you haven’t seen in a long time, and right at that moment, they text you. You can’t explain how these things happen, but when they do, they give you goosebumps and make you feel just a little bit more confident and less alone. I personally love it when this happens. And I’m always on the lookout for signs that my life is moving in the right direction. Well, what if I told you that you can create more moments like this? That’s what we’re talking about today. These moments have a name: they’re called “synchronicities.” And my guest today is Dr. Tom Myers, a professor who researched and wrote his entire Ph.D. dissertation on the subject. You’re about to learn simple steps that will train your brain to create more of these impactful synchronicities in your own life, and three powerful reasons why it’s important that you do so. Today, you and I are hanging out at the intersection of psychology, science, and spirituality. Wouldn’t it be nice if your life had more of these magical moments? Looking for signs that you’re on the right path is not some cheesy thing to do; it’s yet another way you can get intentional about training your brain to help you experience life in a whole new way. I’ll also share a few stories from my life that are not only examples of synchronicity, but they will also give you goosebumps. I can’t wait to hear your “goosebump” stories, and I hope what you learn from our conversation today will teach you how to create more of them. Xo Mel I talk more about synchronicity, including a powerful story from my life and how to create more of them, in my New York Times bestselling book The High 5 Habit. For complete show notes, including links to every research study mentioned, see the episode page at melrobbins.com/podcast

I was lying in bed one morning, and all of a sudden it hit me… If I ever want to be truly happy, I have to stop doing THIS. So do you. What is this thing we need to stop doing? I call it the “Campaign of Misery.”  In the background of your mind, there’s a campaign of misery running on a loop. And until you stop it, you will never experience the happiness, joy and contentment you deserve. I promise you - it is there. In the background - talking to you all the time. This is the missing piece to true happiness. When you remove the campaign of misery, you create room for joy. I recorded this episode the same morning I had this profound insight.  What you're about to hear is a conversation with me and two friends and colleagues, Amy and Jessie. Pull up a seat at the kitchen table; I want you to hear me unpacking this breakthrough about happiness in real time. My two friends saw their “campaign of misery” immediately and started describing in detail the ridiculous ways they torture themselves. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod along, and you might even cry a little. We sure did. Because when you realize how much you rob yourself of the happiness you deserve, it is sad. I always say, this isn’t just a listening podcast, it’s a doing podcast. So by the end, there’s something specific I will be asking you to do with us while you listen. In three simple steps, you will join us as we put down the sword, grab a book of matches, and pick up the pen to write new default programming into our minds. Don’t worry, I’ll explain why you need matches near the end of the episode. And you’ll be so happy that I did. You have the power to change the way you think and the way you talk to yourself. You have the power to stop seeing all the reasons your life is hard and teach yourself to see how this could be easier. Yes, you can be happy. You can be content. But first, you have to stop making yourself miserable. Let’s support one another on this. If we fight this battle for happiness together, side-by-side, I am certain we will win. Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: What happens when you get caught up in your stories My profound breakthrough around the importance of mindfulness How to start celebrating yourself right now, no matter your mindset The 3 incredibly powerful mindset hacks I did with my friends and colleagues, Amy & Jessie Go deeper: Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here. Morning Pages inspired by Julia Cameron: The Artist’s Way For complete show notes, click here.

Buckle up and get ready to take notes because this episode is a masterclass. The tools you’re about to learn will help you become more confident, influential, and even make more money. Today, we’re talking about The “It” Factor. Some people just seem to have IT, right? When I think of The It Factor, people like Oprah, The Rock, Taylor Swift, the Dalai Lama, and Martin Luther King, Jr. come to mind. These people make you want to lean in, join in, and learn more. So today we’re asking… What is “It” that some people have that makes us automatically trust and like them? And, more importantly, how can you get it? Here to answer that question is Vanessa Van Edwards, a best-selling author, researcher, and founder of the behavior lab The Science of People. I cannot wait for you to dig into what she has researched. Turns out The It Factor has another name: charisma. And the good news? YOU can learn how to have charisma, starting today. You’re going to want to. Research finds that charismatic people are more influential, earn a higher income, and have a bigger impact at work, in their communities, and in their relationships. The secret to hacking it? Social cues, like body language and the way you speak. That’s why today’s episode is a masterclass. You’ll learn… Shocking research from Princeton about how people size you up 3 things you must do in the first 10 seconds of a Zoom call Tips for nailing an interview The major mistake you’re making as you speak How to ask for a raise A simple test that will help you figure out how charismatic you are Why you never want to fake a smile Tips for charisma for introverts Why a second impression is as important as the first That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Today’s episode is jam-packed with simple, tactical research and tools that will help you and anyone you care about develop the skill of charisma. And you deserve that. Xo Mel Join the free 5-day Wake Up Challenge with me and master your morning routine here. All show notes for this episode can be found at melrobbins.com/podcast Check out the video version of this podcast on my YouTube channel here.

Whatever you're doing right now, stop and make time for this conversation. Every single day, I get questions from listeners about self-love, self-hatred, and what it actually means to like yourself. I understand why it’s confusing. The topic of self-love is so broad, and there is very little actionable advice on how exactly you learn to like yourself, especially if you’ve spent your whole life being hard on yourself. So don’t worry, I’ve decided to attack this topic of self-love in a completely unique, surprising, and tactical manner. This is also one of the most personal episodes I’ve released because I’m inviting you to join a conversation I’m having with our 17-year-old son, Oakley. This is not a “podcast interview.” This is an intimate conversation between a mother and a son about the most important topic you could discuss: self-love. When Oakley was in middle school, he hated himself, and as his mom, it was awful to see him so lonely and sad. In today’s conversation, he shares things with me about this time in his life that I never knew. And more importantly, we unpack the moment he had an epiphany that changed everything. You will absolutely relate to everything he shares and his reflections about it. I’m so proud to share this conversation with you. You will be blown away because you’ll not only feel like you’re part of our family, but we’re also welcoming you into our hearts. You will laugh out loud, even though your heart might break a little. And by the end of it, you’ll have not only wisdom, but also a couple of simple tools to help you learn how to like yourself a little more. This conversation is a must-listen for EVERYONE in your life. And especially for young adults because when they hear these insights from someone their age, it’s way more compelling than getting advice from an adult. I do want to be up front about one thing: Oakley is 17 and like most 17-year-olds, whether they do it in front of you or not, he has a case of the F’s, meaning he drops the F-word a fair number of times, and I made a decision to record it as is and allow him to speak freely. And, I just can’t emphasize enough how much insight this is going to give you into your own relationship with yourself. I hope you will make the time to spend a half hour with the two of us, because I know you will leave feeling seen, understood, and liking yourself a little better. I cannot wait to hear what you learn. Xo Mel For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

I want you to get serious about inserting fun back into the holidays this year. It might seem odd to have an entire conversation about fun. But here’s why we have to: most of us aren’t having any. In fact, it’s gotten so bad that researchers have a term for it: “a fun drought.” You’re not alone – 97% of people want to have more fun. And wouldn’t it be fabulous if you had an absolute blast with your family this holiday season? It is possible. And you’re just the person to make it happen. On the topic of family, I find it interesting that most of the advice out there is focused on toxic family dynamics and boundaries. If your family is that toxic, the only thing you need to do is make other plans. You’re not required to spend time with them. But… if you are planning to spend time with family during the holidays, make this the year you bring the fun. Fun breaks up old dynamics, fun draws people out of their shells, and fun gives you something to talk about other than the weather and how the school year is going. And laughter is not only great medicine, but it also makes you happier and strengthens your relationships with those you’re having fun with! Today you and I are getting serious about fun. In this episode, you’re going to learn the 3 things that get in the way of you having fun – the biggest one being that you don’t plan for it. So, we are going to discuss how to plan for and have more fun, and I’ll give you all kinds of ideas to consider. This is the perfect episode to listen to with your family if you’re traveling. It’s appropriate for all ages. So shake off the dread and pull out the party hats. I’m on a mission to inspire you to have more fun. Xo Mel For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

I used simple research from Harvard Business School and UCLA to tame my fear of public speaking and become one of the most successful keynote speakers in the world. I used this same tool to overcome my fear of flying. If nerves or fear are holding you back from applying for that promotion, asking someone on a date, speaking up at a meeting, or traveling to another part of the world, this brain hack will change your life. Your fears make your life small. Your nerves limit your potential. Your anxiety robs you of happiness and confidence. Today on the podcast, you’ll hear me coach someone through one of her biggest fears. You’ll hear the hilarious ways I used to cope with my fears and you’ll also learn why telling someone to calm down never works. You’ll leave this episode with a 4-step tool that you can apply to your life the moment you learn it. Stop letting your fear make your life small. Board that plane, step onto that stage, apply for that promotion, and never let your nerves stop you from living your life the way that you want to again. And please, share this episode not only with people you love, but particularly with all the young adults in your life, because research shows that this tool not only helps you tame your anxiety – it also helps you perform better on tests, be a better athlete, and compete at a higher level in academic competitions. Xo Mel For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

What if you could show up in any relationship feeling secure, exactly as you are? You didn’t have to overthink every text you sent. You wouldn’t have to play the dating games. If somebody ghosted you, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Well I’m here to tell you today that you CAN be that person. Meet the phenomenal Dr. Marisa Franco, New York Times bestselling author of “Platonic” and expert on attachment theory. Today, we’re shining a light on your attachment style. What is an attachment style? Simple. It’s a framework backed by decades of research that will help you understand how you show up in relationships. There are 4 attachment styles, and whether you’re aware of it or not, you default to one of them. If you have a hard time setting boundaries with family members… If you keep dating the same kind of people… If you cling to relationships that have long expired… Or if you’ve never been able to connect with someone on a deeply emotional level. Blame your attachment style. And here’s the good news: when you understand attachment theory, you can change your default attachment style and become more secure, which leads to happier and healthier relationships. You deserve that, which is why this episode is for you. Today, Dr. Franco breaks down the 4 attachment styles that make or break your relationships, AND the powerful tools you can use to improve them. Once you understand your attachment style, you’ll have a lens through which to improve absolutely every relationship, especially the one you have with yourself. Because at the deepest level, becoming more secure is about allowing love in. Xo Mel PS: One way to let more love in is to get in touch with your big dreams. Let me help you with a free journal guide: melrobbins.com/dreambig For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

According to neuroscience research, there are four major mistakes you make when it comes to manifesting. Done correctly, manifesting is a mindset tool that elite athletes and the world’s most successful people use to perform at the highest levels and achieve remarkable goals. Today, I’ll reveal those mistakes and more importantly, teach you how to manifest the right way. This episode is all about the HOW. If you love takeaways and tools, you’ll eat this up. Today I’ll lay it all out for you, step by step. You’ll learn the 4 things you need to do every day if you’re serious about achieving your goals and dreams. So wherever you stand on the topic of manifesting, this episode is a masterclass in both the science and art of doing it. For all my cynics and skeptics, this isn’t what you think it is. This is tactical and based in research. And if you already love vision boards, you’re probably going to have to rip yours up and create a new one once you learn the research related to what works and what doesn’t when it comes to visualization. I promise you are not going to want to miss this one. Xo Mel To get the free download mentioned in the episode that helps you get in touch with your dreams, go to MelRobbins.com/dreambig For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com

THIS is the pep talk you need to hear right now. I’m showing up with a level of intensity in a way you’ve never heard me before. We are talking about you and your big dreams. No matter what you're going through in life, your dreams are alive and well and they are waiting for you to wake up and turn toward them. If you’re not ready for some Mel Robbins inspirational firepower, bookmark this for another day. Because I’m not f’ing around today. If you’re done with feeling like you’re doing the same sh*t day in and day out… If you’re tired of your excuses… Or if you're like Barbara, who you will meet in this episode, and you have given up on your dreams because they haven’t materialized yet… This may be the most important 50 minutes of your life. There is a flame inside of you that is still flickering. Today, we are going to throw gasoline on and reignite that fire. You’re ready for this today. I know you are. And more than any other episode, I can't wait to hear how you’re feeling and what you’re doing after you listen to this one. Xo Mel P.S. A lot of you keep asking how you can motivate the people that you love – your kids, spouses, family members, colleagues. Just share this episode with them and I’ll take care of it. P.P.S. When you’re done listening, you’re going to feel like you’ve been shot out of a cannon and want to know how to level up. A great way to start is jumping into The Wake Up Challenge so I can support you in getting your mornings off to a great start for five days in a row, which is exactly the kind of structure you’re going to need to get started on your dreams.

This is the inspiration and wisdom you need to hear today. It’s been quite a week and it’s only Monday. I woke up yesterday and was so sick, I had to cancel some really important work and personal commitments. Cue: the disappointment, the anxiety of upsetting others, and my own sadness that life was not going as I had planned. This is one of those episodes that I recorded for myself and for you. Even when things are really upsetting, you still have the power to face them and take control. Join me in learning one simple, powerful tool. I’ll not only explain it – I’ll also have you practice it with me. I already feel better, and so will you. Xo Mel

How do I know if I’m in a relationship with a narcissist? Are certain personalities more drawn to narcissists? Can I heal if I was raised by a narcissist? How do I handle narcissists at work? Why do I keep attracting narcissists into my life? How can I keep a narcissist in my life… and not go crazy? And, most of all: What EXACTLY do I do to cope with narcissists? You have been flooding my inbox with questions since Dr. Ramani Durvasula, the world’s leading expert on narcissism, spoke about it on the podcast. You asked to bring her back and I’m listening: Dr. Ramani is here with answers to all of your questions. This episode is for you if you… Have no idea what narcissism is Were raised by a narcissist Are married to a narcissist Think you might be dating a narcissist Work with/for a narcissist Want to know the telltale red flags so you’re better prepared Are afraid you’re a narcissist Today you get: Two important tools to help you start your own healing and create boundaries Key takeaways to help you move forward One solid truth that will ground you in your confidence You’ll also learn: What you can do today to begin your own healing How to stay in a relationship with a narcissist and maintain your sanity The signs to watch for to know if you’re with a narcissist What gaslighting looks like in real life The situations that make you more susceptible How to coach your friend who’s dating a narcissist If you’re more prone to attracting narcissists Why you ditch the “good ones” for the “bad ones” About “trauma bonds” The signs of “love bombing” About the “Golden Goose” phenomenon in the workplace What yellow rocking and gray rocking are Listen in on today’s conversation. You will not only be glad you did – you’ll also leave armed with the knowledge, tools, and resources you need to diffuse the impact of a narcissist, get your power back, and know that whatever it is that this person says or does – it’s not your fault. Xo, Mel PS: Once you’re done with this one, if you haven’t had a chance to listen to Dr. Ramani’s first appearance on The Mel Robbins Podcast, absolutely spend some time listening to it: “5 Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist & How To Protect Yourself”

A survival guide to adult friendship: how to find your people, have more fun, and create meaningful friendships as an adult. This is the topic you and everyone else are thinking about. From making new friends to staying connected to your old ones, to the thing that’s really hard: what do you do when your friendships start to fade? This is something I’ve been dying to talk to you about because I am right here, shoulder to shoulder with you, feeling lonely, left out, and wondering… Where did all my friends go? I know I’m not the only one because when I do see my friends or meet someone new, everyone is talking about how they never see their friends anymore. Let’s fix that. I spent a lot of time reflecting on the things that I’m doing that keep me from putting myself out there (which I know I need to do) and did extensive research on the topic. What I discovered is both comforting and empowering. I can’t wait to share it with you. I can boil all of this research down to the 5 lies you and I tell ourselves about friendship. These lies are keeping you from having the best relationships of your life. That’s why you need to hear them. So did I. You also need to hear the truth bombs I’m dropping and the smarty pants research I found to back it all up. Because once you stop repeating these lies, your life will open up again. You’ll have an easier time finding, making, and strengthening your relationships with friends. And most importantly, your friendships will align with who you really are and what you really want in this chapter of your life. Today it’s just you and me, friend to friend, figuring sh*t out together. So let’s go. Xo Mel

Today’s conversation is required listening for everyone. We are going to blow the lid off of emotional triggers. Let’s get to the bottom of why you and I react the way we do, and more importantly, learn simple ways to take control of our emotions. It doesn’t matter where you live, how you grew up, or even if you’re a freakin’ saint to everyone else, I know you have something that triggers you. You have days just like I do when something sets you off and you either snap like a firecracker or withdraw like a turtle in a shell. And just like me, you say and do things you later regret. I’ll go first: I’m trying hard to work on the nasty tone of voice I use with Chris and our kids when I feel frustrated or confronted. And it doesn’t end there. If you’re like me, you beat yourself up for getting triggered, and you now start feeling bad and regret what you did (or the fact that you did nothing). It makes me feel like crap when I do these things. I have felt helpless for a long time because it’s been so automatic when I get triggered emotionally. I don’t want to keep living like this. I’d like to feel calm, peaceful, and more in control. And that’s what this episode is about. Wouldn’t you love to get out of this cycle of feeling emotionally triggered? Wouldn’t you love to take control of your emotional life as an adult? The good news: you can rewire your response to stressful and annoying situations. And in turn, you’ll bring more happiness, presence, control, and closer relationships into your life, because you’ll be present in them instead of letting your emotions drive you. So, who is going to teach us about triggers? I’ve tracked down a psychologist who teaches one of the most popular online workshops about this topic: The incredible Dr. Becky Kennedy. She’s the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Good Inside. And do not let the fact that she is a child psychologist and parenting expert keep you from soaking up and applying everything you can learn from her. No matter how old you are right now, YOU were once a child. And that, my friend, is where your triggers got hardwired inside of you: before you even knew how to talk. Understanding triggers (and taming them) requires you to go back before you can move forward. Dr. Becky says, “Your triggers are stories from your past.” Listen to this episode and really try to absorb what Dr. Becky shares, because the wiring and triggers that frustrate you right now are not permanent. I know you’re going to send this to every one of your friends who is a parent, and please send it to your kids, nieces, and nephews, too. Learning how to rewire my response to stress at 54 is amazing. But imagine if you knew how to do this in high school. That’s why I’ve asked our three kids – ages 23, 22, and 17 – to listen too. Sure, it would be nice for us to pass this healing and confidence-building stuff down to every generation, right? If they get this information now, they can rewire themselves faster. This is really important, life-changing stuff. And I love that it’s also so simple. And you know what else I love? You. Thank you for listening and let me know what you learn. Xo, Mel PS: Want to go deeper? For complete show notes, go to melrobbins.com One thing that helped me gain control is taking control of my mornings. If you haven’t checked out my free 5-day Wakeup Challenge, let me support you in getting going and creating a better morning. Sign up here.

You know those days when you just feel “off”? Well, last week, both my friend Amy and I were having bad days. Thankfully, I had just had an appointment with my amazing therapist that morning. So, as Amy and I started to talk about why we didn’t “feel like ourselves,” I got this crazy idea that maybe we should invite YOU to join us as the conversation started to unfold. We decided to turn on a recording device and unpack how we were feeling – on the fly. I need to say: I stole everything you’re about to hear from my therapist Anne, and you should steal it too. This is way more than just learning how to put on a happy face. These tools are truly transformational because they help you tap back into the incredible power within you. This is a very intimate and special episode that unfolds live. So I’m inviting you right now: pull up a seat at the kitchen table with Amy and me. Join us. Don’t just listen, but close your eyes and do the exercises with us. Do not miss out on what happens near the end. It is magical and I certainly did not see it coming. And I know you’re going to want to see the cowboy boots: don’t worry, they are in the show notes on my website here. Xo Mel

Narcissism is on the rise and you need to learn how to spot it in other people and have tools to protect yourself. We all know those people who constantly turn a conversation toward themselves, who only call you when they want something, and who have a way of making everything someone else’s fault. Well, guess what? Turns out narcissism goes far beyond that. I’m telling you right now, even if you THINK you know what a narcissist is, you need to listen. I thought I knew, yet I’m still reeling from all my breakthrough moments. Do you have a narcissist in your life? Maybe you grew up with one. Maybe you work with one. Maybe you married one. Maybe you don’t know what the hell a narcissist is! Pull up a seat at the table with me because class is IN session. Narcissism is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days, so how do you know if you’re *really* dealing with a narcissist? You have been blowing up my email and DMs about this topic, so Dr. Ramani Durvasula is here to answer your questions. She’s the world’s leading expert on narcissism and someone I’ve followed and admired for years. I love how she breaks down the topic of narcissism in a way that’s understandable, simple, and packed with tools you can apply the second you learn them. Listen in as she shines a light on the REAL definition of a narcissist and the 5 warning signs you need to know if you’re dealing with one. This topic is so juicy – and so surprising – that you’re going to be shocked by what you learn. One part in particular will change how you approach narcissists in your life from this day forward. That’s exactly what happened to me. I have somebody in my life, a very prominent somebody, who absolutely displays narcissistic tendencies, and I have spent years in therapy dealing with it. So I actually got out of my chair and hugged Dr. Ramani after everything she taught me and you in this amazing episode! If you get something out of this episode, or if you have a friend that has struggled with a narcissist in their life, please share this with them. And if you think a person is a narcissist, don't even bother sharing, because if there's one thing you're going to learn: you don't want to EVER call one out… That's just one of the many rules you're going to learn to follow in order to protect yourself from narcissistic behavior. This episode is jam-packed with teachable moments that will leave you seeing the narcissists in your life with 20-20 insight. You’ll learn how to not only deal with them but also end this episode with the tools to heal. And that, my friend, could be the takeaway that changes your life forever. Xo Mel For full show notes, visit www.melrobbins.com