Friends in Prison

Can a person really change?  Can a person guilty of murder really change? Juan had a change of heart; can he maintain that change even if it's dangerous to get out of a gang? Can he maintain that change once he's released from prison? What's the secret? What changed Juan's heart?

OH! and sorry for getting teary eyed!

Music courtesy ofJulisH

Clare updates her friends no how she faired through the hurricane (spoiler alert -she's fine). An update after reaching out to 10 new penpals. Why one of Clare's friends is in solitary confinement. A news story about a sexual offender and how Clare feels about coresponding with people on the sexual offenders' registry.

Music courtesy of JulisH

There are discussions in this episode of self-harm/ suicide and sexual violence and may not be appropriate for all audiences.

Music courtesy of JulisH

Let's peruse profiles on penpal websites!

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How could a person as intelligent, kind, respectful and friendly as Juan end up in prison? If we can understand why he got mixed up with a gang and a life of crime, maybe we can figure out how to keep him out of the gang and thug life when he's released from prison.

Music courtesy of JulisH

Should Clare tell her pen-pals that she cannot share any financial gifts with them? Or can she limit her gifts to $10/year? Or can she grow a backbone and tell a specific pen-pal, "no, I can't send you anything more."

Music courtesy of JulisH

Juan's parole is approved after 28 years in prison... what's next for Juan? What's next for Clare? Several of her pen pals will be released from prison before 2023. How can she support them as they head home? Will she find new friends in prison? You can find your own friends in prison at these sites; penacon.com, inmate-connection.com, wireofhope.com, friends4prisoners.com, meet-an-inmate.com, and donotpay.com.

music courtesy ofJulisH

One of Clare's penpal's is released from prison, another is packing to go to a halfway house soon. One penpal, Daniel, is going before the parole board soon and another, Val, is hopeful she'll figure out how to home sooner than 17 years from now.

Music courtesy of JulisH

What do you do when a penpal asks for money? What do you do when a penpal sends YOU money? How much money is a reasonable gift for a birthday?

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Casey White escaped from prison with the help of Vicky White, a prison guard, not a penpal.

Trigger warning: this topic includes discussion of violence and self-harm.

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If you don't know what to write to to your pen-pal or you wanna know what Clare writes to her pen-pals, send a holiday greeting. Luckily there are lots of holidays. As a bonus Clare introduces the "devos" she started writing.

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Val took down her Fundraiser for personal reasons. Inmates across the US are purchasing tablets for music, movie, games, podcasts, legal research and communication. What are the possible pitfalls? What are the advantages?

An update on Clare's friend, Val, who is serving a 55 year sentence.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of self-harm please reach out, call 1800-273-8255; the suicide prevention hotline available 24 hours a day.

Music courtesy of ofJulisH

An update on Aguilera-Mederos, the CO truck driver sentenced to 110 years for a crash and an update on Val, Clare's penpal who lost her father and his financial support this year.

Music Courtesy of JuliusH

Why did a truck driver in CO get 110 years for causing an accident when his brakes failed when a woman in MO got 16 for an attempted murder of her husband, the successful murder of her husband, the cover-up of those crimes and attempt to frame her brother-in-law for the murder? Is 55 years a reasonable sentence for a DUI crash that resulted in the deaths of 4 people? This last case is Clare's friend, Val who is trying to raise money for a lawyer to help with her appeal for a sentence reduction.

Val's GOFUNDME demonstrates her remorse and hope to make amends for her crime, not through excessive prison time but through a contribution to society she can only make  once she's released, volunteering, raising awareness for mental health, alcoholism and driving under the influence.

Music courtesy of JulisH

Clare's friend, Dannette, can't get shampoo in her prison but she's trying to fix the problem and get her hair clean. Clare's encouraging everyone to send a Christmas card to their penpals or find a penpal to send a first card to.

Music courtesy of JuliusH

I wanted to title this one "Thanksgiving, Camping and more Duck Divorce" But I recorded it at too low a volume, please remember to turn your volume back down after you listen to this episode! And remember your friends in prison as we approach the holidays.

Music courtesy of JulisH

This is not an endorsement of searching for a date inside prison even though this is the 3rd episode on the topic. Andrew and Megan and falling in love while Andrew still has 3 years to serve in prison in Oregon.

Remember to send Thanksgiving cards to your penpals! This is the perfect time to find a penpal and send them a Thanksgiving greeting.

And a little update on the ducks Clare loves to photograph and share with her penpals.

Music courtesy ofJulisH

Can you find love in prison? Can you find a kidney?

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Juan met someone... and he's not the only one. Why are so many of Clare's penpals finding love right now from behind bars?

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Clare shares good news and bad news when it comes to her friends going before the parole board.

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Clare's friend, Aaryana, filed a lawsuit against her prison in MN for mishandling the COVID19 pandemic and placing prisoners in unnecessary danger and harm from the virus. Aaryana is crafter and crocheter and Clare is helping to send crochet patterns to keep her occupied.

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How do you write to someone of the opposite sex without giving them the wrong impression?

This episode might not be suitable for younger listeners.

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Just because you write to someone in prison and they don't write back or they stop writing, it doesn't mean they hate you. Don't take it personally. Write another letter, write another pen-pal... write to Clare's pen-pal Andrew Manning at

Andrew Manning #16626483
OR Dept of Corrections
3405 Deer Park Dr SE
Salem, OR 97310

Music courtesy of JulisH

for the record, Care was able to copy, print and mail Andrew copies of his photos. She didn't even need help from a 12-year-old.

How do you write a letter of support for a friend going in front of the parole board? Should you write one?

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Clare discusses the PC terms she uses, why they're helpful and why the PC terms might be hurtful. She starts with a discussion about the PC terms close to her life, those surrounding adoption and why the core of the conversation is more important than accidentally using the wrong terms. What PC terms do you use instead of prisoner, inmate, cellmate, prison and incarceration? Does the use of Politically correct talk hinder our discussions about improving prison?

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Clare reads the last 6 letters she's exchanged with Juan, a man imprisoned for 27 years.

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Daniel and RJ are seeking new penpals for themselves and Kelly wants a penpal for an old friend of his. Is it against the rules to help inmates from different prisons communicate? Is it illegal? How can Clare find penpals for her friends?

Music courtesy of JuliusH

Clare opens letters of condolences after losing her mom.  There's a little discussion of prisoners receiving stimulus checks, GoFundMe accounts to help prisoners, and the e3ver-controversial topic of return address labels being sent into prisons.

Music complimentary of JulisH. 

My mom passed away a month ago and my pen-pals have been so supportive and helpful as I try to come out of my funk and get back to things that used to bring me so much joy, things like writing pen-pals and posting podcasts.

Music provided by JulisH

Clare explores the question of why people change and how it can be applied to people being released from prison so they change their ways and never go back to prison.

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Amateur sleuths! Clare's friend Kelly is preparing his appeal and needs help to organize his thoughts and present them to the court.

Music curtesy of JulisH!

Clare reconnects with a pen-pal she thought was lost! She shares a great tip for locating loved ones in the prison system who have moved to a new location. And Clare introduces everyone to RJ, the very first person to write to her first. Strangely enough this is not the last time Clare will receive an unsolicited letter from someone in prison looking for a pen-pal.

Music curtesy of JuliusH.

Clare covers a negative reaction to the podcast and asks how to bring up the podcast with brand new penpals.

music courtesy of JuilsH

Clare shares some example of miscommunications between herself and her pen-pals as well as some quick tips to avoid misunderstandings.

Also there's a quick update on friends Misti and Manda.

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Clare admits to two mistakes, one related to writing to people in prison and one related to last week's podcast. Misti writes 3 letters about her COVID experience in prison.

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Fr. Tobin passed away on New Year's Day. Clare reflects on the times his story interwove with the story of her friends in prison.


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Manda is home from prison!  Amanda is one of the most relatable of my pen-pals. She's open, kind, humble. She likes reading, writing poetry and non-fiction. She likes camping, animals, and silly jokes. She can't be your friend in prison because she is my very first pen-pal released from prison.

Our music is courtesy of JuliusH.

How can you be friends with someone in prison and not be judgmental?

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Finding a prayer partner in prison is a special kind of blessing. Listen to the first few letters Valerie and I exchanged.

Bonus: you get to hear me try out a southern accent as I read for Valerie

Music by JuliusH

Daniel has a Christmas Birthday, send him a "one-time" card or become his new penpal (in addition to me of course!)

Daniel Chandler 01776312
Price Daniel Unit
938  S. FM 1673
Snyder, TX 79549

Intro Music used with permission from JuliusH

How much time does it take to write to 29 pen-pals in prison? How much time does it take to write back and forth with just one pen-pal?

Clare shares some postcards from Misti, a pen-pal who can be open, witty, funny and heart-warming all within the space of a 3x5 card.

Music by JuliusH

A review of prison pen-pal websites including

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We delve into the rules at different Correctional Institutions and what might lead to a rejection of your letter. Clare shares what safeguards she takes when reaching out to inmates she doesn't know.

Into music courtesy of  Julius H "Insomnia"

Meet Clare Aaronson, a happily married wife and stay-at-mom with 29 friends in prison. Find out why she started writing to inmates, what kind of inmates she corresponds with and learn about Juan, one of Clare's first pen-pals.