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Coach Lee

Coach Lee

Coach Lee

Coach Lee is a world-renown relationship coach who helps people get an ex back after a breakup, save a marriage, and become more attractive. Lee has coached people in relationships since 2000. His website is https://MyExBackCoach.com and includes hundreds of articles and videos. Lee has lectured at Pepperdine University and others, is a TED educator on the science of breakups, and has been interviewed by major media including The New York Times, USA Today, The Today Show, New York Post, Men’s Health, L.A. Business Journal, Cosmopolitan, Daily Mail, Metro UK, Bravo TV, Yahoo Lifestyle, Glamor, and MSN among others. Lee uses real-life experience with breakups along with his work for 20 years providing relationship-recovery coaching. He has multiple certifications for relationship coaching & consulting. Get information on his Emergency Breakup Kit & Emergency Marriage Kit at MyExBackCoach.com. SUBSCRIBE to this podcast as well as on YouTube at https://youtube.com/myexbackcoach so you don’t miss videos on saving relationships, keeping love strong, and the science of attraction. INSTAGRAM @RealCoachLee

161 - Does No Contact Work On An Avoidant Ex?
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  • 161 - Does No Contact Work On An Avoidant Ex?

    The Nuances of No Contact: Navigating an Avoidant Ex's Response In the aftermath of a breakup, emotions can run high, leaving us grasping for strategies to regain our sense of control and closure. One such strategy that often arises is "No Contact," a method touted for its effectiveness in facilitating healing and moving on. But what happens when your ex is avoidant? Does the conventional wisdom still apply? Navigating a breakup with an avoidant ex presents its own set of challenges and complexities. While the principles of No Contact remain sound, implementing them requires a nuanced approach that takes into account the unique dynamics of an avoidant attachment style. Avoidant individuals are characterized by a tendency to withdraw emotionally and resist intimacy, making them less likely to engage in traditional forms of communication post-breakup. In this context, enforcing No Contact may trigger their avoidance response even further, leading to increased distance and resistance. So, does No Contact work on an avoidant ex? The answer lies in understanding the underlying motivations and fears driving their behavior. For avoidant individuals, the prospect of emotional vulnerability and intimacy can be overwhelming, leading them to retreat further into their shell. In light of this, a rigid adherence to No Contact may not yield the desired results. Instead, a more balanced approach that combines space with intermittent communication may be more effective in fostering a sense of safety and trust. Rather than viewing No Contact as a means to an end, it can be reframed as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. By focusing on self-care and pursuing activities that nourish your well-being, you can reclaim your power and autonomy in the face of rejection. Moreover, maintaining empathy and compassion towards your avoidant ex is key. Recognizing that their behavior stems from deep-seated insecurities and past experiences can help temper any feelings of resentment or frustration. In addition to self-care, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide invaluable guidance and validation during this challenging time. Having a strong support network can help you navigate the ups and downs of the breakup journey with greater resilience and grace. Ultimately, the effectiveness of No Contact on an avoidant ex hinges on your ability to cultivate emotional resilience and self-awareness. By honoring your own boundaries and needs while remaining open to the possibility of healing and reconciliation, you can emerge from this experience stronger and more empowered than ever before. In conclusion, while No Contact may present unique challenges when dealing with an avoidant ex, it is not without its merits. By approaching the process with patience, empathy, and self-reflection, you can harness its transformative potential to navigate the complexities of post-breakup healing with grace and resilience. Get my Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk   Sincerely, Coach Lee

    Tue, 07 May 2024 - 15min
  • 160 - No Contact and Your Dignity

    Embracing Dignity in No Contact: A Guide by Coach Lee Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk In the realm of breakups and emotional recovery, the concept of "no contact" stands out as a beacon of self-respect and dignity. Coach Lee, an expert in relationship dynamics, underscores the importance of maintaining no contact as a means of self-preservation and emotional integrity. This approach is not just about getting through a breakup but about fostering personal growth and understanding the value of one's own emotional well-being. The Essence of No Contact At its core, no contact is about knowing what you truly want. If someone decides to leave, it's crucial to respect their decision without desperation or degradation of one’s dignity. Coach Lee explains that chasing after someone who has chosen to leave only teaches them that their actions have no real consequences. Instead, by staying firm in your decision to maintain no contact, you demonstrate self-respect and maturity. Why Maintain No Contact? No contact serves as a clear message to your ex-partner that you are listening to their needs and respecting their decision. This method is particularly powerful on difficult days when emotions run high. Giving in to the urge to reach out can often lead to regrettable actions that appear desperate and can diminish one's self-esteem. Moreover, no contact is not just about silence—it's about the space you give yourself to heal and the space you allow your ex to understand the repercussions of their decision. If they return, it should be because they genuinely miss and value you, not because you've pressured or persuaded them to reconsider. The Role of Self-Respect Maintaining no contact is fundamentally an act of self-respect. Coach Lee points out that engaging in this practice can be painful, as doing the right thing often is. However, it's essential to stand firm, especially when well-meaning friends or family might urge you to reach out. Respecting yourself in the process means acknowledging the pain but not allowing it to dictate your actions. Emotional Preparation and Healing It's crucial to guard your heart and manage your emotions effectively during this period. Coach Lee advises against rushing into emotional decisions or trying to force a reconciliation. True healing and a potentially successful relationship in the future depend on both parties wanting to be together equally and genuinely. The Path Forward Ultimately, no contact is about preparing for the future—whether that involves reconciliation or moving on. Coach Lee emphasizes that emotional healing is akin to physical healing; it takes time but is inevitable. The process of no contact isn't just about enduring the absence of someone else but about rediscovering your worth and learning to value your happiness above all. In conclusion, Coach Lee's insights into no contact highlight it as a strategy not just for overcoming the immediate pain of a breakup but for building a foundation of self-respect and emotional health. It’s a testament to the strength it takes to let go and the courage it requires to move forward, ensuring that any future relationships are built on mutual respect and genuine affection. Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk

    Wed, 01 May 2024 - 11min
  • 159 - When Does Your Ex Start Missing You?

    Understanding When an Ex Starts Missing You: The Role of No Contact Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk When does an ex start missing you? This question plagues many after a breakup, especially when the separation leaves a void filled with memories and questions. The key to answering this lies in the strategic use of the no contact rule. This isn't about playing games or manipulating emotions; it's about giving both parties the necessary space to reflect on their relationship and feelings. Initiating No ContactThe no contact rule means you stop all communication. You don’t call, text, check social media stories, or send letters. It's a clear cut from interaction, not out of spite, but to allow emotional and psychological space. Often, if they broke up with you, they need this space as much as you do. It’s crucial to respect that boundary unless they open the door for communication, signaling they might want to resolve things. Why No Contact?No contact isn’t about being immature; it’s about responding maturely to the situation. If someone says they don’t want to continue the relationship, continuing to push for interaction can seem disrespectful and desperate. It's important to accept their decision and give them the breakup. This means you don’t fight the situation by pleading or begging. You acknowledge their needs and step back, showing maturity and respect for their choices. This maturity can be surprisingly attractive and can make your ex begin to question their decision. The Psychological Impact of No ContactWhen you disappear from your ex's daily life, you create a psychological void. They no longer see or hear from you, which can lead them to miss the connection you once shared. This absence allows them to reflect on the relationship’s positive aspects and the intimacy and companionship that once was. They start to remember the good times, the shared laughter, and the comfort, which can become poignant in your absence. Stages of Missing After a BreakupInitially, your ex might feel relief. The decision to break up, especially if it was fraught with tension, can bring a temporary peace. But as the reality of no contact continues, this relief can shift to reflection and potentially to missing you. This transition typically moves through stages: Relief: Immediate post-breakup feelings where they feel the decision was right. Curiosity: Begins when the relief fades, and they wonder about your life now without them. Reevaluation: They think about the breakup and whether it was the correct decision, often prompted by the silence and space created by no contact. Maintaining No ContactThe challenge is maintaining no contact, even when part of you might crave connection. It's crucial to remain steadfast, even if they expect you to reach out. This steadfastness can shift their perception of you from someone who is always available to someone who has the strength to respect their own boundaries and theirs. This shift is essential for them to start missing you genuinely. In ClosingNo contact should be a period of growth and reflection for both you and your ex. It’s not easy, but it’s often necessary to let them feel your absence truly. This method isn’t about ensuring that an ex will come back to you—it’s about giving both of you the space to potentially come back to each other from a place of understanding and respect, not dependency or desperation. For those navigating through this challenging time, remember that patience and self-respect during no contact can pave the way for whatever outcome best serves both individuals involved. Whether this leads to reconciliation or a more peaceful acceptance of the breakup, no contact plays a crucial role in the journey of post-breakup healing. Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at https://MyExBackCoach.com/ebk On YouTube at When Does An Ex Start Missing You? Read accompanying article at When Does My Ex Start Missing Me?

    Sun, 14 Apr 2024 - 15min
  • 158 - Positive Signs During Separation

    Get Coach Lee's free minicourse to save your marriage at https://www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/ Uncovering Hope: The Subtle Signs Your Separation May Not Be the End In the midst of the turmoil and pain that separation brings, it's common to feel like your marriage is on the brink of collapse, with little to no hope for reconciliation. However, Coach Lee offers a different perspective, shedding light on several positive indicators that suggest your spouse may still harbor feelings for the marriage, providing a glimmer of hope during these trying times. 1. Reflection on Happy MemoriesOne of the most telling signs that your spouse is still connected to the marriage is their reminiscence of happier times. When your partner recalls fond memories, such as vacations, special conversations, your wedding day, or joyful family moments, it's a strong indicator that those memories, and by extension, the marriage, hold significant value to them. This emotional attachment can play a crucial role in their decision-making process, making the thought of leaving all the more difficult. 2. Hesitation Towards Finalizing DivorceAn evident reluctance to proceed with divorce proceedings or to sign the divorce papers signals that your spouse is not entirely ready to end the marriage. Such behavior often reflects a deep-seated uncertainty and an internal struggle about whether separation is the right decision. This hesitation is a positive sign, suggesting that there's still a chance for the marriage to be salvaged, provided that discussions about the divorce are approached with sensitivity and patience. 3. Desire for Emotional and Physical IntimacyMaintaining a connection through emotional and physical intimacy, even during separation, indicates that the bond between you and your spouse remains strong. Whether it's seeking out conversations about your life and feelings, or showing physical closeness, these actions demonstrate an enduring attachment and a reluctance to let go completely. 4. Openness to Seeking HelpWhen a spouse expresses interest in seeking counseling or coaching to salvage the marriage, it's a positive sign that they haven't given up hope. Their willingness to explore solutions and work through the issues facing the marriage reflects a problem-solving mindset and a belief that the relationship can be improved. 5. Prioritizing Family UnityEspecially for couples with children, a continued interest in participating in family activities and maintaining a cohesive family unit is a hopeful sign. It shows an awareness of the potential impact of divorce on the family and a desire to preserve the family dynamics, signaling a deep-rooted connection to the marital and family life. In addition to these signs, Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of understanding the nuances of each situation. Noticing these positive behaviors doesn't guarantee reconciliation, but it does provide a foundation for hope and a path forward. For those navigating the challenging waters of separation, recognizing these signs can be a source of comfort and a reminder that the situation may not be as dire as it seems. For individuals seeking guidance, Coach Lee's organization offers resources, including a free mini-course on saving marriages available at marriageradio.com. This course, alongside personalized coaching sessions, aims to equip individuals with the tools needed to address their marital issues and explore the possibilities for rekindling their relationship. In conclusion, while separation is undoubtedly challenging, it's crucial to remain observant of the subtle cues indicating that love and connection may still exist. By focusing on these positive signs and seeking professional guidance, there's a possibility to navigate through this difficult period and potentially reignite the spark that once united you and your spouse. Get Coach Lee's free minicourse to save your marriage at https://www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-t

    Fri, 29 Mar 2024 - 12min
  • 157 - The Internal Conflict of the Dumper

    -Get Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit at MyExBackCoach.com/ebk -Book a coaching session with Coach Lee at https://myexbackcoach.com/book-with-coach-lee/ Subscribe to Coach Lee on YouTube at YouTube.com/@RealCoachLee The tactic of not initiating contact after a breakup, commonly known as the no-contact rule, is often debated for its effectiveness in healing from the breakup or potentially setting the stage for reconciliation. The nuanced impact this strategy has on the individual who initiated the breakup, referred to here as the dumper, warrants a closer examination. This analysis draws upon a wealth of experiences coaching people through the intricacies of post-breakup dynamics, focusing on scenarios where the foundational relationship was strong, and the breakup was handled with relative composure by the one being left, or the dumpee. Establishing a New Normal through AbsenceThe dumper’s initial reaction to the dumpee’s sudden lack of attempts to reach out or reconcile can be startling. Contrary to their expectations of attempts to rekindle the relationship through messages, calls, or heartfelt appeals, the absence of such actions introduces a shift. This unexpected lack of pursuit might intuitively seem to encourage the dumper to move further away, but in reality, it does the opposite. It removes the immediacy of their need to distance themselves further, largely because the pushback they anticipated, and were mentally prepared to resist, is notably absent. The Space to QuestionDeprived of the need to constantly justify their decision to end the relationship, the dumper is left with room to ponder their choice in the newfound silence. This period doesn’t necessarily lead to an immediate desire to reverse their decision but cracks open the door to doubts about whether the breakup was the right move. This questioning phase is a critical step in the dumper’s journey, stirring an internal debate that had been previously quelled by the expected pursuit from the dumpee. The Role of Time in ReflectionAs the silence extends, the absence of contact prompts the dumper to speculate about the dumpee's life post-breakup. Wondering about the dumpee's emotional state, activities, and social life, including potential new romantic interests, highlights a significant shift. The realization that the dumpee might not only be moving on but could also be attracting interest from others can incite a fear of loss, urging a deeper introspection on whether ending the relationship was the correct decision. Altering the Balance of AttractionAn interesting and often unexpected consequence of no contact is the realignment of perceived attractiveness between the dumper and dumpee. The lack of efforts from the dumpee to salvage the relationship subtly undermines the dumper's sense of desirability and control. This absence of direct appeal to reconsider the breakup can lead the dumper to reassess both their value and the breakup itself, possibly reigniting their interest or at least their curiosity about the dumpee's current sentiments. Decisive Moments and Potential RegretUltimately, the dumper is confronted with a decisive moment—a realization that time is of the essence if they harbor any doubts about their initial decision. This period is marked by emotional turbulence, driven by the realization that they might genuinely risk losing the dumpee forever. Tentative outreach attempts during this phase are exploratory, aimed at discerning the dumpee's state of mind without necessarily signaling a clear intention to reconcile. It's a delicate balance, navigating between unresolved feelings and the acceptance of potential permanent separation. In distilling the essence of the no-contact rule and its effects on the dumper, this revised narrative underscores that the strategy is not just about manipulation or rekindling lost love. It's a journey towards self-awareness and clarity, offering both parties the space to evaluate their true feelings and

    Fri, 22 Mar 2024 - 18min
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