Domestic Abuse Recovery Journal

This episode features Dr. Vecchione Finneran giving tips and a better understanding of what chronic toxic stress is. Ways to help yourself when burnt out.

This episode covers helpful ways to reframe distorted versions of holidays and memories we remember while we are sad and struggling. How to snap out of it and come back to your inner peace. Happy Fourth of July! ❤️

This episode discusses the 3 phases of the narcissistic abuse cycle in depth. The psychological effects of being idealized by a partner suffering from NPD. The lasting self blame patterns we develop following idealization are explained.

This episode discusses the neurobiological changes that happen in the brain after/ during trauma. How heightened emotional response develops over time and why. Feeling numb and under responsiveness is also covered.

This episode features Dr. Michelle Finneran discussing why abusive patterns are repeated through generational trauma and how the mother/ daughter dynamic effects us when our mom suffers from abuse in front of us growing up. Individualization from family origin and being the cycle breaker is also discussed. For K & M❤️

Dr. Finneran, psychotherapist drops in as guest speaker to talk about Stockholm Syndrome, trauma bonding, getting proper support, and healing after abuse. Avoiding re-engaging in another abusive dynamic is also discussed.

This episode focuses on the different stages of leaving an abuser. How to grow strength to get through withdrawals, things you’ll need within your support system, and learning how to love yourself again are discussed.

This episode focuses on gaining insight into how abusers use pity, guilt, and blame shifting to distract us from their hurtful behavior. Description of how we get to a point where we feel like we are the abusive partner, and chronically believe we are the cause and are responsible for the pain we experience with an abusive partner. How to trust yourself again, and the self forgiveness felt when you finally know for sure….It’s not me. It’s you.

This episode focuses on the trauma bond formed from triangulation. How continuous cheating creates intermittent wounding and the effects of the “reuniting” stage. Abuser’s tactics to keep the victim in the relationship, blame shifting, and gas lighting are also discussed.

This episode discusses what it feels like to leave psychologically when you’ve left an abuser physically. What it feels like to be completely done. What it feels like to be free. What it feels like to be me again.

This episode focuses on the long standing issue of abuse not being addressed in the world. Thoughts on how to respond to someone who doesn’t think you’ll be able to do anything about the silent issue that causes so many people to not fully live their life to full capacity. Contemplating pros and cons of taking legal action is also discussed.

Dealing with anxiety, a mean negative inner voice, and overcoming attacking ourselves. How to look at mental health symptoms in a new way without feeling less than or labeled. Leaving unhealthy coping behind.

This episode focuses on taking ownership of one’s struggles and actions in the recovery process. Trying to stuff things down inside and drown out traumatic memories and feelings does not work. Being in the “I don’t know what else to try” stage.

Depression, chronic stress, and feelings of worthlessness are discussed. Ways to develop body positivity and combat identifying with being “the fixer” within a dysfunctional relationship.

This episode focuses on the progression of developing healthy self confidence, setting goals in healing, lowering anxiety and depression, and the 4 stages of healing from abuse: recognize, accept, rise above, model. How to reframe blame and navigate forgiveness safely. A crash course in how to feel better.

This episode covers what to do with the hope survivors carry that their abuser will change or “get better”. Getting back together is never an option in recovery, but a new chapter in forgiveness and being at peace can be. Where to place your hope and what the new version of a happy ending may look like. What to say when reconciliation is brought up.

This episode discusses the power of self validation, not needing outside validation from friends or partners, self worth, insight, and education on crazy making. How to take life inventory and make positive changes for yourself. Dating to learn and grow versus dating to fill a void is also discussed.

This episode focuses on transitioning back into optimism around falling in love again, and trusting yourself enough to find the right life partner. The shift you feel after completely letting go of the fear and pain you associate with love after being abused.

This episode is focused on knowing who you are and being free of self doubt during interaction with toxic behavior and environments. Focusing on the difference between living in a state of confusion and fear from experiencing gaslighting and manipulation, compared to a state of inner peace and being grounded. How to not let anyone take away your inner light again. Being in the acceptance stage of grief.

This episode covers Learning to love spending time with yourself again after trauma bonding, control, and brain washing. Gaining trust in yourself back after feeling like you can’t ever do anything right. Learning how much environmental factors and life style contribute to recovery and a happy life.

This episode covers the value in the ability to identify feelings of emotional safety versus feeling unsafe in a relationship, using the rational mind and the emotional mind together, and developing personal boundaries.

This episode covers red flags of abusive partners, how the cycle of abuse works, how to stay out of it. Special guest Steve McCrea, MS who is an author and domestic violence educator shares helpful tactics for staying away from abusers and how they develop an emotional hold in the first place.

Why do I miss someone who hurts me so much? Why we romanticize our abusive relationship. Effects of childhood trauma, attachment style, and why we associate love with unhealthy things.

Feelings of wanting to kill the part of ourselves that still loves them so we don’t re-engage in the relationship. Goals for finding inner peace instead, ending self shame, and starting to let love in again.

Special guest speaker on her personal survival journey with a New York fire fighter, her abusive partner of 16 years, and her recovery advice. Gas lighting and dual nature are discussed.

The uncomfortable feelings during growth and healing. Why it’s worth it to be uncomfortable for a while and not go back! This episode is dedicated to my beautiful God Mom, Natalie.